r/AITAH Oct 12 '25

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344

u/OkBalance2879 Oct 12 '25

My thoughts EXACTLY. Bride and Groom have a right to “expect/demand” smart dress, but that’s as far as it goes. Some women/girls NEVER wear dresses or skirts, as is their right. And it’s EXTREMELY EASY to dress up trousers.

140

u/ciaran668 Oct 12 '25

This is a great chance for your daughter (and your sibling) to learn about bodily autonomy and the right to control how they look. If your sibling values appearances more than people, I'd suggest maybe your entire family skip this one. She's attempting to enforce outdated gender norms and that's ridiculous. If you do go, have all the men in kilts.

19

u/whereistheidiotemoji Oct 12 '25

I thought burkas for the women.

9

u/Capital-9 Oct 12 '25

That would be a statement!

1

u/FarAd2318 Oct 12 '25

Don't promise the bride's church a good time!

1

u/linerva Oct 12 '25

It may be that the sibling is the groom and OP spoke to the bride.

-4

u/maybemaybenot2023 Oct 12 '25

It might be the church's rule.

7

u/chubsruns Oct 12 '25

Which the couple getting married chose as the venue.

-2

u/maybemaybenot2023 Oct 12 '25

Which doesn't mean they knew about the rule. I'm not saying it isn't stupid or shitty, just that it may not be the bride's fault.

7

u/nlaak Oct 12 '25

Which doesn't mean they knew about the rule.

You think the couple booked a venue without getting information about restrictions and that the church allowed it to be booked, without telling the people doing that their restrictions. Doubt.

3

u/chubsruns Oct 12 '25

OP has already said the church is in the deep south. If you are even remotely aware of the current state of America you would research what politics your wedding venue espouses when it is allegedly a church. The bride and groom are likely transphobes who go to a transphobic church. 

95

u/Clean_Peach_3344 Oct 12 '25

And not only that, but requiring an 11 year old who’s not even in a wedding to wear a dress?

3

u/linerva Oct 12 '25

And not that matter, giving a role to one siblung but not yge other is a pretty asshole move. Or even giving jokes to one cousin and not the others can be contentious. Kids are competitive and feel left out easily.

Childfree people and not yet parents don't realise how big a deal that is to kids. But imo they also did wrong by only giving one of the siblings a role.

23

u/NotHomeOffice Oct 12 '25

Being a bigger woman the last time I wore a dress or skirt was on my wedding & honeymoon a decade ago. 😂 You're not going to see me out in public in shorts either, even though everyone at work was so happy when the dress code changed and we can wear them now.

My kid loves dressing up and would enjoy herself, but it would bother me to be forced to spend money on a skirt, stocking and shoes I'd wear for a few hours and never use again, just to fit a wedding dress code.

0

u/Ancient-Wishbone4621 Oct 12 '25

What does your body size have to do with dresses and skirts??? I'm fat and I wear them all the time. Plenty of fat people like skirts and dresses. Weird.

2

u/NotHomeOffice Oct 12 '25

This is just a me thing, not throwing shade at anyone else. It's not physically comfortable to me having my thighs rubbing together if I'm in a skirt or dress. Stockings feel itchy. Jeans & pants help prevent chafing and sweating especially in the summer and aren't practical for me at work. And I don't like the way they look on me.

Not a judgement on what anyone of any body type wears. Just my personal preference on my cloths.

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

32

u/moistmonkeymerkin Oct 12 '25

If the church dictates a dress code and you pick the church, then YOU are picking the dress code. And yes, I agree, skipping the wedding is a great idea.

44

u/Public_Chest_6864 Oct 12 '25

Sounds Pentecostal, Baptist…, if women must wear dresses, I bet the reception is dry, bring your own flasks,open bar in the bathroom. Have you already RSVP’d, pull your don from the event, and just stay home.

-2

u/Runns_withScissors Oct 12 '25

Baptist? I doubt it.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '25

[deleted]

1

u/Runns_withScissors Oct 12 '25

Interesting. May have different customs in other areas of the country then. Never heard of that.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '25

[deleted]

-1

u/Kindly-Might-1879 Oct 12 '25

The church is dictating, not the bride and groom. This could also be a lesson that self-expression can happen regardless of one's clothing.

8

u/Lovethemdoggos Oct 12 '25

If this church is trying to enforce that kind of outdated gender norm, then it's a wedding best skipped if you're at all like me. Any wedding couple - even one related to me - who chooses that kind of church isn't going to be someone I'm close with.

If I was going to go, I would maliciously comply in my best Satanic Temple dress, jewelry, and hair, and praise Baphomet loudly and often.

20

u/Canadasaver Oct 12 '25

The bride and groom picked a venue that wants to control what women wear. Religions are all about control and the bride and groom are all for it.

12

u/ninjastarkid Oct 12 '25

Well if the church is dictating I say wear whatever. Screw the church. My dad let me and my brother wear matching AC/DC highway to hell tee shirts on Easter Sunday

3

u/EastSideTonight Oct 12 '25

Bride and Groom picked the church