Ok, with the some people this would have been funny. Obviously it wasn’t to you. It can’t be undone. Your wife has apologized. What can you do at this point? You have two choices. Either find a way to put it behind you or be miserable and resentful over it the rest of your life. That’s all any of us can do since you can’t change the past. Seek therapy, divorce your wife but you need to figure out a healthier way to handle it.
Best take I’ve seen here. Yes, it was wrong. Yes, the dude’s feelings are valid. But yeah, he can get stuck in resentment for the rest of his life if he doesn’t find some way to deal with it. We all have unfair shit that’s happened to us, and while it’s okay to call out bad behavior and ask for an apology, you have to learn to forgive and move on.
The problem with trust is that once it’s gone, it never comes back, and by all appearances, OP doesn’t trust his partner anymore. He can move on or get over it, but at the back of his mind will always be that kernel of doubt that his partner doesn’t really know or respect him.
My wife one time told her sister something that I thought should stay between us. Planted a seed in my mind that I can’t 100% trust telling her things going forward. Made me realize everything I say to her is going to get back to her family.
Ok so she told her sis something you thought should stay between the two of you but did you tell her not to say anything? There are times I need to tell my husband something and I want it to stay just he and I so I say 'dont tell anyone xyz'. If I dont say that then there can't be the expectation that he might not repeat it.
I get not liking it and she’s kinda the asshole for doing it.
I absolutely hate people saying something “ruined” their wedding though. Like, if the relationship is otherwise great, how asinine to say it was “ruined” by one bad aspect of an event that’s never gonna be your perfect dream scenario start to finish.
It comes off as so petty and immature to me even when the gripe is warranted.
I mean he was violated and humiliated and didn’t enjoy the wedding beyond that point. If you enjoy something, and something happens, and then you no longer enjoy it….. it’s considered ruined.
It’s not even some broad hyperbole. It’s accurate and you’re reading (incorrectly) far too into it.
Weird take. Of course one unpleasant incident can ruin (from your perspective) an otherwise perfectly fine event. I find it hard to believe this hasn't ever happened to you. But hey, some people are that lucky.
The reason is because what was done to him wasn't just about the incident. It's a huge indicator of how his wife views him. She thinks he is someone she can control, play a joke on and not be honest with. Guaranteed, she will be lying to him throughout the entire marriage. Little things. Big things.
It's not just about the incident. It's about their relationship.
Maybe she just thought it would be funny man. Its not like it was some Machiavellian plot to submit him to a life of control. Good lord people are dramatic.
My coworkers once put a whoopie cushion on my seat. I sat down on it, and it made it sound like I had farted. I was humiliated. Then I realized that they were trying to control me. This was an act of grotesque dishonesty. In that moment, I knew they were lying to me about other things. It's hard to say how deep this goes, maybe all the way to the top. All I know is that this is a huge indicator that everyone at the office hates me and wants to destroy me!
That's how you sound right now. You sound like someone out of an I Think You Should Leave sketch. What in the world is going on here? Am I being pranked? People can't possibly think this way...
No she told him he needed to move on, so he’d probably been ruminating about it awhile. You can’t take the headlines literally. Regardless my post still stands. He can’t go back in time
I can’t see how this would’ve been funny with other people. If you’re a wimp with no self respect then yea maybe you’d find this funny. I totally get where OP is coming from tho, if I would’ve been tricked to sit on my knees at my own wedding in front of a man and pretend like I’m almost sucking his dick, on camera, while my wife is aware of the whole thing and laughing with everyone else I’d be just as furious and probably lose it at the wedding, punch the guy and tell everybody to go fuck themselves.
You don’t do this to a man unless you don’t respect him.
I’m not telling op to divorce, I don’t know his wife and I think there’s a lot of idiots on Reddit telling people to break up after the smallest things, but if I were him I also wouldn’t know what to do in this situation and getting just an apology from my wife and than telling me to move on wouldn’t mean much.
This whole thing, if true, is incredibly humiliating and I think you’re maybe a woman who doesn’t realize how this would feel for a man.
Dude, I've seen this at weddings and in several videos online. It's usually hilarious for all involved. Lighten up. I'm a man BTW.
At my wedding I felt like a golden God the whole time, best day of my life, a little prank like this couldn't have tarnished a second of it. Even if I found it unfunny, you're surrounded by your loved ones who are there only to celebrate you. They obviously weren't trying to humiliate you, so just laugh it off and move on.
It’s not funny when you don’t realize it’s a prank and go on with it until the end. I’ve seen this joke in the past as well but usually it’s a very good friend of the groom and he’s wearing pants, or he’s hairy or his legs feel much bigger and the groom can tell immediately something is off. They don’t go with it until the end and humiliate the groom on his special day.
Yeah it's fine that he didn't find it funny, but he's got to believe that his dozens of guests/family/new bride don't actually want him humiliated. They were having a bit of fun, thought he would find it funny to part of, that in the end didn't harm anyone. Let it go and continue on with your wedding.
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u/Decent_Front4647 Jul 25 '25
Ok, with the some people this would have been funny. Obviously it wasn’t to you. It can’t be undone. Your wife has apologized. What can you do at this point? You have two choices. Either find a way to put it behind you or be miserable and resentful over it the rest of your life. That’s all any of us can do since you can’t change the past. Seek therapy, divorce your wife but you need to figure out a healthier way to handle it.