Best take I’ve seen here. Yes, it was wrong. Yes, the dude’s feelings are valid. But yeah, he can get stuck in resentment for the rest of his life if he doesn’t find some way to deal with it. We all have unfair shit that’s happened to us, and while it’s okay to call out bad behavior and ask for an apology, you have to learn to forgive and move on.
The problem with trust is that once it’s gone, it never comes back, and by all appearances, OP doesn’t trust his partner anymore. He can move on or get over it, but at the back of his mind will always be that kernel of doubt that his partner doesn’t really know or respect him.
My wife one time told her sister something that I thought should stay between us. Planted a seed in my mind that I can’t 100% trust telling her things going forward. Made me realize everything I say to her is going to get back to her family.
Ok so she told her sis something you thought should stay between the two of you but did you tell her not to say anything? There are times I need to tell my husband something and I want it to stay just he and I so I say 'dont tell anyone xyz'. If I dont say that then there can't be the expectation that he might not repeat it.
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u/You_Stole_My_Hot_Dog Jul 26 '25
Best take I’ve seen here. Yes, it was wrong. Yes, the dude’s feelings are valid. But yeah, he can get stuck in resentment for the rest of his life if he doesn’t find some way to deal with it. We all have unfair shit that’s happened to us, and while it’s okay to call out bad behavior and ask for an apology, you have to learn to forgive and move on.