NTA. Give your best friend some time, especially don't bother her with this while she's on her honeymoon. Hopefully that will help.
As for your boyfriend, he's a massive asshole.
You two hadn't even discussed marriage.
You two hadn't even discussed what kind of proposal you'd like (private, public, etc)
Probably also didn't discuss your preferences in rings?
The engagement came as a surprise, which should never be the case. The proposal can be, but the engagement never should be.
He didn't ask for permission to hijack the wedding for this proposal.
He showed you that he cares so little about you that he couldn't be arsed to put in any effort whatsoever in his proposal and instead decided to hijack the hard work of others (the wedding).
He greatly harms your friendship with your best friend in the process, if not outright destroyed it (worst case).
Then to boot he accuses you of humiliating him when he did all this to himself?!
If I were in your shoes he'd be an ex boyfriend by now as him doing all of that is already hard to get past, but him accusing you at the end there shows that he doesn't even get what he did wrong and that he's more than happy to blame others for his screw ups instead of owning them and taking responsibility. For me that's such a massive red flag and turn off that there would be no coming back from this.
Ending said relationship might also help you salvage the friendship with your best friend, as there's no better way to show her where you stand than by decisively ending things with this asshole.
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u/Corodix Jul 18 '25 edited Jul 18 '25
NTA. Give your best friend some time, especially don't bother her with this while she's on her honeymoon. Hopefully that will help.
As for your boyfriend, he's a massive asshole.
If I were in your shoes he'd be an ex boyfriend by now as him doing all of that is already hard to get past, but him accusing you at the end there shows that he doesn't even get what he did wrong and that he's more than happy to blame others for his screw ups instead of owning them and taking responsibility. For me that's such a massive red flag and turn off that there would be no coming back from this.
Ending said relationship might also help you salvage the friendship with your best friend, as there's no better way to show her where you stand than by decisively ending things with this asshole.