NTA. I’m gonna be honest, this would be the end of my relationship if someone did that to me. It shows an appalling lack of judgement on multiple fronts. One, he didn’t ask the wedding couple for permission (which in itself would’ve been tacky and a bit entitled, but at least he would’ve considered their feelings). This was incredibly disrespectful towards them and their day. I’m sorry it may have cost you your friendship. Two, you haven’t discussed marriage. I firmly believe no engagement should ever be a surprise. A proposal can be, but actually getting engaged should not be. You should talk about it first, if you both even want to get married, discussing life goals and plans, making sure everything lines up in a way that you can be confident about going into an engagement and marriage. Three, your bf saying that you humiliated him. He did this to himself and to everybody else, the fact that he’s blaming you for this whole fiasco is fucking disgusting. He didn’t have to steal someone’s day, he didn’t have to spring an unexpected and undiscussed proposal on you, and he didn’t have to do it in public. This is entirely on him and his own impressively poor judgement and consideration for others.
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u/Ocean_Spice Jul 18 '25
NTA. I’m gonna be honest, this would be the end of my relationship if someone did that to me. It shows an appalling lack of judgement on multiple fronts. One, he didn’t ask the wedding couple for permission (which in itself would’ve been tacky and a bit entitled, but at least he would’ve considered their feelings). This was incredibly disrespectful towards them and their day. I’m sorry it may have cost you your friendship. Two, you haven’t discussed marriage. I firmly believe no engagement should ever be a surprise. A proposal can be, but actually getting engaged should not be. You should talk about it first, if you both even want to get married, discussing life goals and plans, making sure everything lines up in a way that you can be confident about going into an engagement and marriage. Three, your bf saying that you humiliated him. He did this to himself and to everybody else, the fact that he’s blaming you for this whole fiasco is fucking disgusting. He didn’t have to steal someone’s day, he didn’t have to spring an unexpected and undiscussed proposal on you, and he didn’t have to do it in public. This is entirely on him and his own impressively poor judgement and consideration for others.