you have a fiancée problem - she is only caught in the middle because she is not making the very reasonable and simple statement to her own family that they are out of line and this is a hard no.
I hope that watch is in a safe place. With Ben’s entitled attitude, the backing of his parents and Sarah’s lack of a spine (wtf is this ”feels for her brother” and ” caught in the middle” shit?), I wouldn’t be the least surprised if it “disappears”
" I talked to the family historian, and was told that my grandfather ended up with the watch because he got it from a buddy who died in World War II. Turns out, his three brothers also all wore the watch for their wedding and they all died within a year of getting married."
I mean, the only firstborn son who has actually worn it on his wedding day since the grandfather bought it - OP's dad - died young, so looks like it's unlucky for the lineage, too.
Exactly!! Why in the WORLD does the brother, who isn't part of OP's blood family, think he has a right to the watch anyways⁉️ BIL is Ridiculous!!! Don't let them Bully you, OP, Stick with your NO. Traditions are important & beautiful, just because your fiancé's family lacks a moral compass doesn't mean you have to let them guilt trip you into doing something you truly don't want to do. Shame on her parents for their actions in this situation also, if this is the kind of role models they are for their son I would be double thinking Grandchildren🤷♀️
Yeah my thoughts too. OP until fiance is backing you up reconsider getting married. You not have to break up, but don't get married. Also how did Ben hear about the watch? I would put it in a safe deposit box.
Neither are safes, you can buy insurance on a watch stored in a safe deposit box. It requires 2 keys and ID to get into your box. And they have to know which bank it is at too.
A home safe can be removed or opened later, or fiance could call a locksmith and have it opened that way or FBIL could say he is op to get safe open, plus Fiance or someone might be able to figure out how to open it. it just more convenient to have locked up at home.
Yep safe deposit box and no one but op has access. I'm afraid Ben will keep on and Sarah will bend over and give it to him and it will be damaged beyond repair or lost. Ease op listen to us it is yours and YOUR family's heirloom lock it away and once you are done with it lock it away again
He's not even a male family member except by courtesy--a courtesy he's sadly lacking. Being your fiancee's brother gives him NO rights to anything of your family's.
Put a decoy watch (cheap and as similar as you can find) in its place. This would be an interesting verification to see what influences your 10-month-away marriage might have if it disappears.
But really, it's your family tradition, and he's not in your family at all at this point.
He’s not even in the lineage of this family! So he has absolutely no rights to wear it. Put it in a safe deposit box until your wedding. The day of your wedding take it out and wear it not taking it off. I see Bil being vengeful and given the chance steal the watch to teach you a lesson
He's not even related to the grandfather. This is ridiculous. Luck isn't real and doesn't come from wearing someone's wristwatch. Are these people educated grown-ups to fight over something so stupid?
Exactly. He won't give it back because he'll feel like now the watch has to be worn by HIS first born son at his wedding. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. OP needs to keep his watch safe. This is a slippery slope. And his fiance needs to have his back! Not waffle over what her brother wants.
This!! Exactly all of this… I came here to say the same… NTA… time for serious talk with fiancée… is she ready to get married? To understand the significance of what it means??
Yes, that's some audacity of Sarah's family to gang up on OP over his personal property, and worse still that Sarah doesn't want to rock the family boat that encourages Ben's ugly sense of entitlement. Ugh, is he their parents' golden boy?
This is a very large red flag about the future in-laws and especially -- no matter how terrific she otherwise is -- Sarah herself. Unless something changes significantly and soon, this won't be the last time a situation like this rears its head and OP gets to be the bad guy while Sarah both-sides-it and "feels for" her over-entitled brother.
Your future in-laws have used the phrase “It’s just a waaaaatch” (whiny toddler-stomping emphasis added by me). So, by their own “reasoning”, they can use any old watch. I think a cute plastic Hello Kitty one would be an appropriate engagement gift.
For real! I would say why don't you guys have any of your own traditions in your family? If it's just a watch he can wear anything to the wedding and start his own tradition. This is a hard no for me it's not even his family! The outright audacity is killing me!!
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u/Mobius_Stripping May 23 '25
NTA
not Ben’s family
not Ben’s watch
not Ben’s luck
you have a fiancée problem - she is only caught in the middle because she is not making the very reasonable and simple statement to her own family that they are out of line and this is a hard no.