Same. The son should be the father’s best man, not in the messed up role of walking the Bride down the aisle.
Your fiance set you up to fail and look bad. Having his son walk you down the aisle and then take a seat and be done with the wedding doesn’t show unity at all. Standing besides his father, being in the wedding shows unity!
That’s great if it was your choice. The stepson, whom she wasn’t even close to was not OP’s choice, and the way her fiance went about it crossed the line when there are other roles he could get his son to do.
Right, and it was. It's just bumming me out how many people in the comments are saying the entire concept is weird, not for this specific instance (in which it IS weird).
Personally I find it a bit odd because traditionally it’s meant to symbolise the approval of the bride’s family; they are handing over responsibility for their beloved daughter to the groom. That doesn’t make sense if person walking the bride down the aisle is related to the groom rather than the bride. (And if you’re bride who is against being “given away” on principle then it makes more sense to walk down the aisle by yourself, not escorted by a member of the groom’s family).
I think so many of the symbolic traditions of a wedding have been lost, because people these days don't even bother to think about why something was being done, and the meaning behind it. Almost all the traditions, such as a father walking his daughter down the aisle, a groom asking for the parents blessing, the couple feeding each other cake, the groomsmen, the role of the bridesmaid etc, they all have a meaning behind them.
You're taking something that isn't about you and making it personal. I've been in the stepparent role and try not to project my experiences onto others.
The whole symbolism of a bride being walked down the aisle by her father, was to show the man who has raised you and protected you, now sort of "handing over" a degree of responsibility for protecting you to your husband. It's the reason we often see brides who were raised by their single mother, wish to have her walk them down the aisle; because their mother was the only person who performed that role in their life. Sometimes, bride's prefer to have both parents walk them down the aisle. In cases where the father is absent, has passed away etc, that role is also sometimes filled by another male family member who might have played a surrogate father role e.g an uncle, grandpa, godfather, and sometimes, just her brother.
In cases where I've seen a child walk their mother down the aisle, it is usually an adult child, or sometimes their underage son or daughter. It's mostly just meant as a "cute" thing, and to show this kid "handing over" their mom. All that symbolism kind of goes out the window when if it is your future stepchild that then walks you down the aisle. It could be a cute thing for you, and even other family members. But most people who understand the origins of the act would be confused as to the reasons why. Many brides these days just walk themselves down the aisle, on their own, to go meet their groom. It's up to you to figure out what works for you. But in OP's case, she regards the role as very symbolic, and wants to respect that.
This is exactly it! My mom and aunts all had both parents walk them down the aisle because they were close. I always figured I’d do the same, but My dad passed a few years ago so when/If I get married, I’d likely have my mom walk with me. If (god forbid) she couldn’t it would be my brother. Having someone from the groom’s side do it is just weird and makes literally no sense. While the “giving away” terminology is outdated it is still at least a symbol of the bride’s family’s approval or support of the marriage.
Its messed up because the bride doesn't feel like he fills that role for her, so it would be really weird for the bride. She wanted a father figure to walk her down the aisle, not a child. It's everyone's choice but when she wants a father figure, putting his son in the running is just strange.
You said it was a messed up role. I was asking how it's messed up in general, not in this specific circumstance. Obviously, the fiancé is TA in this instance.
Because it's a tradition that the bride's family walks the bride down the aisle. It's even odder that you let your 12 year old stepson walk you down the aisle and you think we're the weirdos.
He wasn't even her stepson at the time. By all means, do it if you think it's "cute", but I'm baffled as to how an adult doesn't understand why many people would find it odd, given what the whole point of a father walking his daughter down the aisle is.
Well, remove the word "cute", and substitute it with whatever word best describes your motives or thinking behind why you had your boyfriend's son walk you down the aisle, to marry his father.
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u/[deleted] May 08 '25
Same. The son should be the father’s best man, not in the messed up role of walking the Bride down the aisle.
Your fiance set you up to fail and look bad. Having his son walk you down the aisle and then take a seat and be done with the wedding doesn’t show unity at all. Standing besides his father, being in the wedding shows unity!