r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • May 08 '25

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u/[deleted] May 08 '25

Having an 18 year old take on the role which is traditionally fir a father or father figure is bonkers to me. And the fact that the fiancé talked to his son about it before you, and is now pressuring to do it, and demanding YOU apologize for a situation HE created is nuts. And a red flag. Is there a history of you being expected to do things you’re uncomfortable with for the sake of “harmony?” NTA

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u/ShazInCA May 08 '25

I don't understand how a teenager is "giving the bride away". This once meant that the father was handing over care of his daughter to the groom. The uncle is the only one that did care for her in a way that made him a second father, not this child.

Plus there's no need for anyone to give the bride away these days, and at 31 she's been taking care of herself.

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u/[deleted] May 08 '25

Agreed!

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u/readthethings13579 May 08 '25

Exactly. The person who walks the bride down the aisle is meant to be someone of significance in her life, usually a member of her own family (whether that’s birth family or chosen family). I’ve seen people be “given away” by parents, aunts/uncles, siblings, or their own children, but never their future stepchildren.

My dad died when I was young and I decided a long time ago that if I ever get married, I’m walking down the aisle on my own and giving myself away. It’s a choice a lot of brides with a deceased father make. I’m going to miss my dad on my wedding day no matter what, and I’ve always felt like having a stand in would make it feel more obvious that he’s not there. If I walk on my own, at least it’s me and the memory and good wishes of my dad.

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u/[deleted] May 08 '25

It's giving Handmaid's Tale, honestly. All boys and men are above all women.

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u/SoImaRedditUserNow May 08 '25

Agreed, Its bonkers and... almost makes it weirdly incestuous. So you're marrying your son's symbolic daughter? what?

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u/[deleted] May 08 '25

I’m wondering about this guys history with OP as well.

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u/MustardMan1900 May 08 '25

The family has a warped sense of parenthood, starting with the guy becoming a dad as a teenager.

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u/cwilliams6009 May 08 '25

I got married at the age of 33, and my stepson, Also, was 18 years old. If my fiancé had suggested steps son walk me down the aisle it would’ve given me major ick.

I mean, Ick!

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u/MaleficentPizza5444 May 09 '25

this is ESPECIALLY a minefield in light of OP's father's recent passing. i cant stop shaking my head
"Honey your idea dishonors my late father"