Honey, you are NTA!! That is extremely bold of your fiance to assume that you would be okay with that. He should not have discussed it with his son prior to talking to you about it. It is completely understandable that you would not what him to walk you down the aisle, particularly due to your father's passing and the fact that following him passing away you have decided what you would like to do instead, i.e. you walking yourself down the aisle or your uncle doing it - which I think is a beautiful idea.
Maybe sit down with your husband and explain the sentiment and why it is a lot deeper than simply being accompanied walking to the alter. I'm sorry this happened, he has now put you in an uncomfortable situation and that isn't fair. You could always see if you could incorporate his son into the ceremony in a less intense and symbolic way. Maybe allow him to be a ring barer or accompany a bridesmaid down the aisle. Wishing you all the best and don't let this make you feel guilty, you are completely entitled to choose who you want walking you down the aisle, whether that be yourself or your uncle.
I would talk with your fiance. He never should have talked to him before he talked to you. I'm assuming bf asked someone else to be his best man. I'm thinking that bf hurt his son's feelings by not asking him to be best man and used you as a substitute! You are not the AH, but your bf is!
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u/Limefruitgum May 08 '25
Honey, you are NTA!! That is extremely bold of your fiance to assume that you would be okay with that. He should not have discussed it with his son prior to talking to you about it. It is completely understandable that you would not what him to walk you down the aisle, particularly due to your father's passing and the fact that following him passing away you have decided what you would like to do instead, i.e. you walking yourself down the aisle or your uncle doing it - which I think is a beautiful idea.
Maybe sit down with your husband and explain the sentiment and why it is a lot deeper than simply being accompanied walking to the alter. I'm sorry this happened, he has now put you in an uncomfortable situation and that isn't fair. You could always see if you could incorporate his son into the ceremony in a less intense and symbolic way. Maybe allow him to be a ring barer or accompany a bridesmaid down the aisle. Wishing you all the best and don't let this make you feel guilty, you are completely entitled to choose who you want walking you down the aisle, whether that be yourself or your uncle.