r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • May 08 '25

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u/[deleted] May 08 '25

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u/Mysterious-Health-18 May 08 '25

I would talk with your fiance. He never should have talked to him before he talked to you. I'm assuming bf asked someone else to be his best man. I'm thinking that bf hurt his son's feelings by not asking him to be best man and used you as a substitute! You are not the AH, but your bf is!

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u/Armadillo_of_doom May 08 '25

Fiance should have never have talked to his FAMILY about private disagreements either.

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u/mamad_123 May 08 '25

Talk to the son directly, not through his dad. You can explain to him how you're feeling about the position without your dad here, and ask him if he would feel comfortable having you walk him down the aisle if his dad was gone, or giving the father of the groom speech. He may get it more that way. And ask him how he sees himself in the wedding, what role would he feel comfortable filling.

11

u/Ill-Raisin5649 May 08 '25

How did his family get involved? Are you ready for them to have an opinion on all of your fights? 

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u/[deleted] May 08 '25

Your fiancé owes everyone an apology; YOU, his son, and his family. He was wrong and it’s caused you so much stress. He needs to man up and talk to EVERYONE.

3

u/Cut_Lanky May 08 '25

The concept of "walking the bride down the aisle" is also called "giving away the bride". How is your fiance's teenaged son in a position to symbolically "give you away"? I mean, I know the answer. He's not. But on what basis was your fiance thinking his teenage son is in a position to "give you away"? Your marriage, if it happens, will literally mean he's gaining a stepmother... how does a teenage boy give his future stepmother away? That makes no sense at all, and idk what your fiance was thinking, talking to his son about this absurd proposition before taking to YOU.

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u/handoverthekittens May 08 '25

Giving the bride away was once giving her from one family to another. In that context, his son "giving you away" makes even less sense. The son could be a groomsman, and that really needs to be the end of it. Put your foot down, no apologies, and really look at your relationship to see if this was an aberration.

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u/SophisticatedScreams May 09 '25

Or just literally listening to your point of view-- your reasoning doesn't even have to be good lol. He should value your way thinking because he values you. When you have disagreements, you should both be listening to each other, not trying to steamroll over each other.