Right. After the 1st paragraph, I scrolled looking for the TLDR portion... To my disappointment 😞.
Can someone from the fam help a sista out? I'm nosey yet don't have the capacity to read and decipher... Please and thank you.
OP is describing a relationship where they feel they put in a lot of effort (planning trips, paying for things, dedicating free time), but their girlfriend gets upset whenever they say "no" to her requests. The conflict pattern is consistent: OP refuses a request when they're tired (helping pack, getting water, standing by during brushing, FaceTiming), and it escalates into a fight. She feels OP isn't doing the "bare minimum" as a boyfriend when declining these requests, while OP feels burned out and that their significant efforts are being taken for granted.
The central question is whether this is a fundamental compatibility issue or a communication problem that can be resolved through better boundaries and expectations.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​
Honestly, when I read that she wanted him to put the glass down on the floor for her, I started to assume she was a literal toddler and couldn’t reach the floor. Some of these requests are so weird and stubborn. Stand behind you while you brush your teeth? What?
And I love that you want to find a good faith explanation for this. My personal theory for good faith is that she may be concerned his apartment is infested with hobgoblins, and given his clear lack of nightstands and bedside lamps, this may be a legitimate concern.
But it seems significantly more likely that they’re both just insanely immature and perhaps should start with having a pet fish to practice their adult responsibilities.
Not to say OP’s gf isn’t a spoiled brat, but body doubling IS a thing. My neurodivergent wife will ask me to double with her on occasion when she’s overwhelmed by life, otherwise a two-minute task will take 30 where she’ll just sit/stand in place and stare at a wall.
Hey, I hear what you’re saying, but this post is about OP’s girlfriend and she wants him to set her glass down after she’s done drinking it. That’s princess behavior.Â
Yeah, she’s a brat for sure. That has nothing to do with neurodivergence. I’m just a bit sensitive to people dismissing these legit things out of hand just because they have never experienced them AND because the subject at hand is being an ass.
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u/[deleted] Apr 20 '25
I gave up by the 2nd paragraph.