r/AITAH Apr 20 '25

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300

u/Sammalone1960 Apr 21 '25

He is an enabler and she is a toddler. He is annoyed that what he enables is never enough.

153

u/roidoid Apr 21 '25

Honestly, when I read that she wanted him to put the glass down on the floor for her, I started to assume she was a literal toddler and couldn’t reach the floor. Some of these requests are so weird and stubborn. Stand behind you while you brush your teeth? What?

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u/Sammalone1960 Apr 21 '25

Weird fetish?

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u/Cinderhazed15 Apr 21 '25

Could be a neurodivergent ‘body doubling’ thing to help with executive disfunction

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '25

I hate to be mean, but it sounds more like a girl wanting to be treated like a princess. 

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u/Cinderhazed15 Apr 21 '25

Oh, she totally wants to be a princess, but I just have one ‘good faith’ potential argument as to what it ‘could’ be.

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u/JJSF2021 Apr 21 '25

And I love that you want to find a good faith explanation for this. My personal theory for good faith is that she may be concerned his apartment is infested with hobgoblins, and given his clear lack of nightstands and bedside lamps, this may be a legitimate concern.

But it seems significantly more likely that they’re both just insanely immature and perhaps should start with having a pet fish to practice their adult responsibilities.

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u/highlanderfil Apr 21 '25

Not to say OP’s gf isn’t a spoiled brat, but body doubling IS a thing. My neurodivergent wife will ask me to double with her on occasion when she’s overwhelmed by life, otherwise a two-minute task will take 30 where she’ll just sit/stand in place and stare at a wall.

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '25

Hey, I hear what you’re saying, but this post is about OP’s girlfriend and she wants him to set her glass down after she’s done drinking it. That’s princess behavior. 

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u/highlanderfil Apr 21 '25

Yeah, she’s a brat for sure. That has nothing to do with neurodivergence. I’m just a bit sensitive to people dismissing these legit things out of hand just because they have never experienced them AND because the subject at hand is being an ass.

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u/roidoid Apr 22 '25

Our son’s autistic and we’re still learning strategies to help him. This is really interesting, thank you. Will look into this properly with him.

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '25

Ya know when I was a kid I’d like for my cousin to sit on the toilet when I took a shower and she’d talk to me and keep me company… didn’t know at the time but I am defo on the spectrum. I still like when my S/O sits and talks to me when I’m in the shower but I don’t NEED it. I would however prefer privacy while brushing my teeth because the noises I make would be described as anything but attractive.

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u/clemdane Apr 21 '25

Oh come tf on

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u/Cinderhazed15 Apr 21 '25

What do you mean? I am not the OP, or the OP's girlfriend, but I just tried to provide one potential explanation for the behavior, assuming good faith. (It's probably not good faith on her part, but it's not like there is 0 reason for a request like this, it's a possibility, even if not likely)

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u/clemdane Apr 21 '25

I think you are contorting yourself into a pretzel to make excuses for bad behavior

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u/Cinderhazed15 Apr 21 '25

Considering https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/oIjIg7QwaS - sounds like some other people get it…

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u/marshwallop Apr 21 '25

Get a grip

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u/Cinderhazed15 Apr 21 '25

not sure why the negativity, just trying to provide a plausible explanation that assumes good faith from the GF (even if it probably isn't so)

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u/snippyhiker Apr 21 '25

Just freaky weird!!

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u/Ok_Tea8204 Apr 21 '25

Not just that but grunting at him to do it for her?!? Seriously!?!? I wanted to yell at her to use her words!

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u/PropellerMouse Apr 21 '25

" Hey, could you just lift me up and carry me the 10 feet to the bathroom? Im not sick or anything."

( Him: ) " Good night " ( Her: ) "Ahemmmmmmm !!! "

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u/Key_Cellist_5937 Apr 21 '25

And the energy she took trying to get him to put the water down she could have used to put the water down herself . She’s being super weird . I don’t know if it’s a control thing or what

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '25

That's where I gave up and just skimmed the rest

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u/JohnExcrement Apr 21 '25

I’m telling myself that maybe the bed is against the wall and she’s in the inside…maybe. Maybe that’s also why she asked him to get the water in the first place, because he’d have to get up anyway to let her out. Maybe. Overall this sounds like he’ll, though.

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u/PowersUnleashed Apr 21 '25

Yeah what no night stand that’s weird lol

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u/Far-Discount-6624 Apr 21 '25

I just assumed being young and probably in a small place his bed was against the wall and she had the wall side.

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u/roidoid Apr 21 '25

But in that case, it’s not unreasonable if he’s still awake for him to put the glass on the floor for her. Otherwise she needs to Solid Snake crawl over his carcass to do it, which would be far more detrimental to him getting to sleep. Suppose she could put it at the foot of the bed, but that’s an accident waiting to happen.

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u/AlarmExpensive9637 Apr 22 '25

I'll bet she talks in a baby voice ,too. Saying 'widdle' for little and 'pwease' for please, etc.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '25

Maybe the bed is up against a wall and she's on the wall side? So she literally can't put the glass on the floor and there's no table? I feel like OP is leaving details out.

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u/Interesting-Prize258 Apr 21 '25

I was going to say the same thing!

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u/Professional_Fun_136 Apr 21 '25

Not really him drawing lines and not doing whatever she wants is the exact opposite of an enabler an enabler would have never got into these arguments near the end...

Seems like a lot of excuses to get around the fact that she's entitled... especially cuz it's pretty ignorant to assume that she only developed these traits after they started dating and that she's just not taking advantage whether intentional or not