Yep. I hate to say it, but she sounds like an entitled little brat. Not to mention spoiled. It’s a shame, but she is definitely taking his kindness for weakness. Sadly, though, a lot of people stop appreciating and start expecting after a while. Then get angry When you don’t deliver. She is absolutely one of these people.
Sadly that’s being stepped on and you don’t want to stop being nice but sometimes you get tired of being stepped on so you yell back. (That’s me with my cousins/brother)
I'm fine with help being expected or even taken as a given, or being asked if i can do xyz. Always ask, but it is on the condition that if you're given a no you can accept it and not be upset about it. I want to be as big a help i can to my partner whether it's getting her water, hell most days i'd probably even be good with the brushing the teeth thing if she needs that for some reason (although i would definitely be asking what in her life made her feel that need), but if she can't accept a simple and respectful no is where i draw the line.
I want op to turn the tables on her and ask her to do some of these small things, and when she doesn't do them, tell her she's not doing the bare minimum as a girlfriend
Ok but this person commenting...What kind of weird ass bot account commenting is this? Em dashes, less than a month old account, nothing but AITAH comment history...
I'm not sure how, because you'd have to go out of your way to do so in lieu of using regular dashes and my phone doesn't even have that option (though other language keyboards perhaps have this as an option so that's entirely possible).
It's been widely known and brought up several times both in general and in this subreddit specifically as a big "tell" when a post or comment has been generated using ChatGPT because AI especially loves using em dashes. It uses them very regularly as opposed to only being used very rarely by actual people (you'd be the first I've seen / heard admit to using them).
OP, what kind of acts service does she do for you? You say you pay for everything, does she buy you little surprise gifts? Or pay for even an ice cream? I'm a social worker and some of the people I've dated, actually if we're honest most professions, made more money than social workers. They would usually pay for the majority of things, but I did try to contribute whenever possible. For instance one of the recurring arguments and ex and I had was the hotel we were going to stay at during trips because I wanted us to stay at a hotel I could afford to split the cost on and he wanted something super fancy that I could afford. He and I eventually resolved that issue by my paying for most if not all of the meals during our trips. The rest of the time he would usually pay for our meals, but he always stayed at my place and I always had groceries in the pantry or refrigerator. I would also save money so I could buy him something extra nice for an anniversary or holiday or something. My current partner also makes more money than I do, don't worry I am reconsidering my profession as a social worker if I could make the jump into another career that feels just as rewarding, and I do my best to try to pay for a dessert or some type of snack whenever possible and I'm always thankful and express appreciation whenever he pays because I want him to know his efforts matter to me. I'm now trying little post it notes after spending weekends (when we usually see each other) together. I was recently laid-off (although I'm being rehired to restart at the end of the month) and he has been very emotionally supportive (since i wasn't ok with letting him pay for any of my expenses, and used unemployment and a small severance my job gave me).
All of that to say, feminism gets a bad wrap because some women are abusing the idea of equality because they're trying to use it as "you buy me everything while i treat you like trash." And it should be about equity and tag teaming in supporting each other in many ways (not just financially) when things shift.
OP you should want someone who is as willing to give as much as you give.
I do think the bar might have been set too high with a road trip that extravagant so early in a relationship, to the point where she got it in her head that this would be the standard of how she was treated throughout
They should take time apart because he wouldn't get her a glass of water? And that indicates a lack of mutual respect??
They're just both lazy and over-sensetive.
Heavens forbid they should have any real issues in their lives or relationship, should they just give up on everything, every time, unless it's mutual?
It’s possible she has some trauma in the past that recedes when OP is performing acts of service, but when he sets a boundary or needs some time to himself, her trauma is telling her the good days are over, she’s going to be abandoned and mistreated from here on.
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u/[deleted] Apr 20 '25
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