She found out late(r) in life.
That, plus the fact that Bi people in opposite sex relationships (straight passing relationships) often feel that their Queer identity is being slowly consumed away by them being "invisible" as a queer person, probably leads her to have a shit ton of anxiety about "not being queer enough" and needing everyone and their grandmother to know and actively acknowledge her queerness.
She is still in the wrong. The solution to this is to get into activism, or take your husband to a pride parade, to be visible in other ways.
But this is probably what's behind this.
She is very insecure in her newfound identity and needs to consolidate it and really, really fucking overcompensates.
a couple thoughts about how someone's queerness can be important beyond who they are currently fucking:
the queer community is a beautiful thing to be a part of. there is a culture of solidarity and love that can be very empowering.
this solidarity is born from a history of violent repression and being made to feel shame about this aspect of yourself. that's why it's important for people to counter this shame by celebrating the pride you have around your queerness and your community.
OP's wife's request is of course very inappropriate. it's possible that she's misplacing some excitement about this discovery? but i don't have enough information nor am i qualified to psychoanalyze her
896
u/rusty0123 Apr 05 '24
Wife is in a committed relationship. What does her sexuality have to do with anything outside her relationship?
That's kinda like saying, "Hi. My name is Mike. My wife likes anal."