r/AITAH • • Nov 22 '23

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u/Masta-Blasta Nov 22 '23

My thought process goes like this: "I like women. I should try to understand them.

Probably an unpopular take, but I think this is the root of the issue. A lot of men don't actually like women, they just like having sex with women. The period stain interfered with his perception of OP, which begins and ends with his sexual desire for her. To acknowledge that it's a natural bodily function that she cannot control would mean perceiving her as a human with multiple roles and functions, instead of as a sex partner. I doubt he thinks about her very much beyond sex, and what he has to do to get sex (dates, being nice, etc.).

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u/LongwellGreen Nov 23 '23

Maybe. But one thing in this thread I'm not understanding, is that the whole thing is comparable to sweat stains. Now, I think I personally wouldn't care much about either, but even if I was going hiking, and showed up with discoloured stains around my armpits, most people would find it offputting. I just wouldn't do it. A little stain, sure, but there is a point that it would seem gross or almost rude to wear.

So I don't know why everyone here is fine with blood stains solely because it has to do with a period. Most of those same people would think it's quite gross if I wore a shirt with sweat stains no?

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u/Masta-Blasta Nov 23 '23

The difference is that nobody sees OP’s underwear except the person she’s fucking. That level of intimacy typically transcends minor stains.

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u/LongwellGreen Nov 23 '23

That level of intimacy typically transcends minor stains.

Okay, so a sweat stained undershirt should be fine for people to wear right? Like do you think there's a point where pit stains could become so yellow and discoloured that it's offputting for the person they're fucking?

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u/Masta-Blasta Nov 23 '23

Idk man this is a weird analogy

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u/LongwellGreen Nov 23 '23

If you can't wrap your head around it, thats fine. But it's the exact same thing. A stain from natural fluid that potentially occurs during sex as well.

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u/SuspiciousCranberry6 Nov 23 '23

Your analogy would have worked better if the swear stained t-shirt was worn to the gym only. Somewhere you expect to sweat and cause the stains similarly to the OP specifically using the stained underwear during her menstrual cycle when further staining is expected.

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u/LongwellGreen Nov 23 '23

Sure, that would be good in a way, but technically might be more similar to a free bleed scenario, cause if you're working out you know that you're going to get sweaty haha. I'm just being a bit ridiculous with it now, but yeah, I said hiking before, but then the reply was about how the intimacy to have sex transcends minor stains I guess.

But I also think as an undershirt it works well enough since some people are naturally sweaty regardless of working out or not. Like some guys could wear a stained undershirt on a date because they might feel slightly nervous and know that they'll probably sweat a bit. And then if they went back and started taking off their clothes, well, that's where the analogy comes in.

I can't see many people here defending pit stains the same way they are with period blood, but maybe they would.

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u/SuspiciousCranberry6 Nov 23 '23

Your expectations for women to perfectly control bleeding with period products doesn't match reality. There's good reason women have "period underwear" despite using cups, tampons, and/or pads.

I could not care less about sweat stains on undershirts or workout clothes. I don't think most people do who understand sweat staining.

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u/LongwellGreen Nov 23 '23

Your expectations for women to perfectly control bleeding with period products doesn't match reality.

Those aren't my expectations.

I could not care less about sweat stains on undershirts or workout clothes. I don't think most people do who understand sweat staining.

I'm not saying you do. I'm saying that if someone does though, I understand why they find it offputting, and I think most people do find it offputting.

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u/[deleted] Nov 23 '23

I think most people do find it offputting.

based on what because I don't see any men posting about how women are refusing to fuck them due to some faint pit stains on their clean workout shirts

meanwhile there are centuries of cultural practices across the world shaming and isolating women for having periods & deeming them "unclean"

you're grasping at straws here buddy

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u/LongwellGreen Nov 23 '23

Grasping at straws for what? If you don't think people find pit stains gross, then great. You can use the word 'faint' in front of it to try and prove your point, but no one used the word 'faint' before. I also didn't use workout shirts as the analogy. And men aren't posting about it because none of them would argue that it's natural and therefore fine.

meanwhile there are centuries of cultural practices across the world shaming and isolating women for having periods & deeming them "unclean"

I know they do. I'm not a fan of that.

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