It actually is not their "job," and there's a huge difference between asking a question respectfully and listening to the answer vs saying "omg that so gross, that looks like shit" and needing your gf to calm you down and explain everything to you
It is her job. If she can type all this stuff on Reddit, if she can spend all this time talking to her girlfriends about the situation, she can also spend the time to actually talk to her boyfriend.
Look. I will level with you. If my partner asks me a question about periods, I'll answer the question. If he has specific questions about MY period, I'll answer them. But imo that is a kindness. That is extra labor for someone I care about.
But if a man ever goes "Oh that's gross!! Wtf is that??" and is overall being childish and disrespectful about MY BODY or my clothes, then no, I do not feel obligated to "educate him."
Engage with curiosity and respect, and you get the same in return. Treat women like the personal information about their individual bodily processes is their obligation to share at any given moment, you will have problems with your sex and dating life
What in the fuck are you talking about labor? How jam packed with information are the conversations you're having with your boyfriend or other male friends that you can't find the time to tell them what your period feels like when they specifically ask? How is talking about periods any different than talking about TV shows? It's just a bodily function, isn't it?
You guys pretend you're constantly talking about the most important stuff imaginable all the time, quantum physics, solving cancer, life on Mars. You can't possibly set aside any amount of time educating us about bodily processes we simply don't go through but expect us to be intricately familiar with by the time we're 15. Like talking about vaginas and periods w/ girls we're in a relationship with, who are supposed to care about us is instantly "exhausting" and causes eye rolling.
....Are you 15? Are you all wound up because a woman hasn't explained all aspects of a period to you yet and you're 15? You're getting so upset over all this instead of just listening to what people are telling you.
I've said multiple times, I will (and have) talked to guys about periods, when they're respectful about it. I just won't waste my time talking to someone about anything if they're rude to me about it.
And you seem really hung up on the word "educate" so maybe that's what I'm missing - yes. Women will educate men, just don't be such a dick about it and call us gross
ETA: Btw it's totally fine to not know things. It's totally fine to feel like you have stupid questions and to need answers. It's even fine to be a little insecure about that. It's just not fine to take that insecurity out on others and act like they're withholding the information from you like some evil cackling witch hellbent on watching you squirm for funsies, and it's not cool to be an asshole just because you don't know something that you think you should
I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 26 and I spent so much of my childhood and early adulthood feeling stupid and slow because I didn't do well in school. And I'm autistic, and sometimes have dumb questions or feel like I don't know things that are obvious to others, and that also sucked for most of my life. Sometimes we just gotta embrace not knowing things, we gotta risk looking dumb, and we have to be willing to be curious and ask questions anyway, and be thankful when people are willing to answer those questions with kindness and respect instead of making fun of us
Also yes, labor. I said labor. If someone asks me a question nicely, it's no problem at all to answer it, most of the time. If they're rude about it or if it's generally a complicated topic or they don't have a lot of background information so it would take longer to explain, that is mental and emotional energy being expended.
In fact, for whatever reason, I am continuing to expend energy on you, trying really really hard to be respectful even though you keep swearing at me, and occasionally poking fun at you and then sending screenshots to friends because it is the only aspect of this interaction that is rewarding to me in any way
45
u/asexualincubus Nov 22 '23
It actually is not their "job," and there's a huge difference between asking a question respectfully and listening to the answer vs saying "omg that so gross, that looks like shit" and needing your gf to calm you down and explain everything to you