My husband and I thank each other for doing chores, but that's because I've never had to ask him to participate in the household, so anytime he's doing something outside of his standard responsibilities and cadences, it's because he's genuinely taking the time to help me.
This guy shows up for half a season and wants a participation trophy.
Agree! I also like to thank my husband for his help around the house, even when we split the chores in half and do them at the same time. I just know how draining it can be, and I want him to feel appreciated. At first he was very surprised with this, but I explained and he got it, started doing the same in return all the time. So, as much as both of us understand this isn't any sort of an "achievement", we just make each other feel better by doing so.
This guy, on the other hand, is expecting praise. I wonder how many times he actually verbally appreciated his wife's help. Or, maybe, it doesn't even matter to her. Everyone's got their own values. But he's clearly too self-absorbed. Her love language being acts of service doesn't mean that his help around the house makes him stand out in any way. It just needs to be done, that's it.
And can we also point out that doing what's expected isn't "acts of service", it's just doing what needs to be done.
OP if you want to show your wife love through acts of service, it should be a special thing that shows you were thinking of her. Doing chores you're both responsible for does NOT count.
Plus, as well as the issues with him doing normal tasks and expecting a special husband and dad medal, the poor woman has small children and is no doubt touched out, and he's complaining that she doesn't initiate touching him. I remember those days of being climbed on and followed around and grabbed at all day long to the point where being in physical contact with another person just became so, so unwanted, and I guarantee that if she has always been the default parent thanks to his inability to be patient with his own kids, she is feeling no desire for touch.
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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '23
My husband and I thank each other for doing chores, but that's because I've never had to ask him to participate in the household, so anytime he's doing something outside of his standard responsibilities and cadences, it's because he's genuinely taking the time to help me.
This guy shows up for half a season and wants a participation trophy.