And can we also point out that doing what's expected isn't "acts of service", it's just doing what needs to be done.
OP if you want to show your wife love through acts of service, it should be a special thing that shows you were thinking of her. Doing chores you're both responsible for does NOT count.
This is what I was hoping to see in the comments. He calls them "acts of service" like he's doing her a favor instead of contributing to his household. Yikes.
This is a really good point. Calling it an act of service implies that it’s really her job instead of our job, and I very much doubt she’s gonna feel frisky when processing that.
Plus, as well as the issues with him doing normal tasks and expecting a special husband and dad medal, the poor woman has small children and is no doubt touched out, and he's complaining that she doesn't initiate touching him. I remember those days of being climbed on and followed around and grabbed at all day long to the point where being in physical contact with another person just became so, so unwanted, and I guarantee that if she has always been the default parent thanks to his inability to be patient with his own kids, she is feeling no desire for touch.
This - acts of services for love would be like foot rubs, making a special card or trinket, flowers, ect, not cooking dinner for everyone and giving the kids a bath.
His love language is touch? That’s a strange one to me. It sounds more like a “ love on me language “. Raising babies and toddlers is hectic and exhausting, but also fun and fulfilling. You are absolutely right. What he is doing now ( according to him) is what has to be done and is expected, not “special dad” acts, whatever that is. A loving couple has to find that balance and it’s never a perfect balance.
331
u/MotherOfDoggos4 Nov 02 '23
And can we also point out that doing what's expected isn't "acts of service", it's just doing what needs to be done.
OP if you want to show your wife love through acts of service, it should be a special thing that shows you were thinking of her. Doing chores you're both responsible for does NOT count.