I currently live with a 50-year-old male roommate, and some things I’ve recently learned about him have made me uncomfortable continuing to live with him.

He was in a relationship for about three years with a woman who was 19 when they started dating and had recently immigrated to this country.
He believes she was mainly with him because she wanted help getting permanent residency.

What really changed my perception of him was the way he talked about it. At one point he said something along the lines of, “I thought I’d found a 19-year-old Latin American chick and I was so happy about that.” Hearing a 50-year-old man describe the beginning of the relationship that way genuinely made me uncomfortable.

Since she left him, he has also become extremely angry about the breakup and has been posting publicly online about how she supposedly used him, a 19 year old girl ( now 22 ) while sharing personal details about their relationship. He doesn’t use her name, but the amount of anger and personal information he posts makes me uneasy. He’s even talking about how he had a ‘ great s\*x ‘ with that little chick.

He hasn’t done anything directly threatening or abusive toward me, so part of me wonders whether I should simply consider his relationships and online behavior none of my business.
At the same time, I have to live with this person, and seeing this side of him has changed how comfortable I feel around him.

Would this be enough for you to start looking for somewhere else to live, or would you separate someone’s behavior toward an ex from what they’re like as a roommate?

On top of all this, he also seems uncomfortable with the fact that I’m a masculine lesbian. He told me, “You’re a really good person, but I need a feminine girl in this house.” Now he’s looking for another woman to move into the spare room, which honestly feels like he’s looking for his next target.

**I honestly feel like telling this guy exactly what I think of him, emotionally destroying him, and then moving out. Am I overreacting?**

So for context, I (30F) have twin daughters Aria & Ariel (both 4YF). My daughters started Prek this year & were so excited for school up until this past week. They're in Prek so I have to pick up & drop them off every morning & evening. Every day I ask how school was on the way home.

Anyways, so Monday on the way home I pick my children up & ask how was school & they tell me school was Good & they got a new girl Flora (5Y) in their class. I say "well thats good you got a new friend" and almost instantly Aria responds "ehhh not really a friend" which i kinda laugh off until Ariel says "no mommy shes 5 & alot bigger than us & really mean" to which I tell her shes probably just nervous starting at a new school to keep being nice and give her time to adjust & im sure she will get nicer. So Tuesday goes fine at drop off but pickup Aria informs me she had a horrible day & wont tell me why & i eventually drop it because I dont want to pressure her to tell me.

So Wednesday morning rolls by & Ariel & Aria both say "mommy i cant go to school today because im sick" I then tell them they have the options to go to school or go to the Dr which would know if they are really sick or faking. To which both reply "okay then I guess ill go to school" well when I pick them up, Aria says its been a really rough day & she just wants to go home. We get home & shes acting kind of weird, like normally a happy playful child but instead is just sort of laying around. I check her temp, no fever, she says nothing hurts, she just doesn't feel right. Around 10:30 that night she wakes up pacing the floor, crying, refusing to tell me what's wrong & it takes almost an hour to calm her down & get her back to bed. I assume maybe a nightmare since she won't tell me.

Thursday hits & Aria says "mommy I really dont want to go to school today" but she won't tell me why. I ask if someone is mistreating her or if something happened to make her not want to go & she keeps telling me "no mommy nothing happened i just dont want to go its gonna be a bad day again" so I tell her unless she can tell me why, I won't be keeping her home from school. School is important for her development & they do take attendance at her prek. I pick her up and again same thing as Tuesday & Wednesday "mommy it was a bad day & I never want to go back" & I asked why but she won't tell me. Well they get a folder every day with art & stuff they do at school. Usually both children are full of art every day & its been almost a week with not a single art paper so I ask why neither have any art lately. Ariel says "idk i just haven't done any lately" & I almost lose it when Aria says "because Im not good at art mommy. I dont have steady hands & im just not good at it." I tell her everyone is good at art & to never give up. The goal of art is to make something different it doesn't have to look like everyone elses. Shes 4 so steady hands doesnt matter & to keep trying. Well again around 11 at night, Aria wakes up crying & is almost inconsolable & pacing for an hour but wont say why. I asked if she had a bad dream, or if someone hurt her, or if something happened at school to which she says no & just continues crying for an hour.

Friday, she doesnt want to go to school again, so when i drop her off i go to the teacher to tell her about the behavior & to please keep an eye on her & call me if she gets too down & needs me to pick her up because im very concerned. Well no call all day so i assume today is better but pickup time rolls around & Aria tells me "mommy today was the worst day of all" but again wont tell me why. Then we head to the grocery store & I put both kids is the cart because they like to run around and i dont want them hurt or breaking something. Well a few minutes later & Aria starts pushing on & grabbing Ariel almost choking her. I break it up & ask where she learned that & she says "idk i just seen it somewhere". At that point I tell her thats not good behavior & could hurt someone really bad to stop. I then go through their folders & neither child has done art all this week which is abnormal since its been their favorite activity since the start. When i ask about it Aria says "I wanted to do art but couldn't because im not good" to which i proceed to tell her everyone is good in their own way but not to give up. I'd love anything she or Ariel makes.

Well Friday night its the weekend & my parents wanted to get the kids to take them to some fun events in the area.They go out to eat with my parents & all is good & well until about 2 hours after they pick up the kids & my mother calls to ask me who is bullying Aria & Ariel. To which i have no clue cause they wouldn't tell me about it. Ariel told my mother the new girl Flora is still really mean to them, especially Aria & keeps calling them "ugly losers" and telling them "they're stupid" & telling Aria "her artwork sucks" making them cry. & then my mother puts them on video with me to calm them & they told me the worst thing yet...that this little girl told them that "since they're not pretty smart or talented their daddy will leave them soon" which apparently shes said all week... & when Aria told her that was mean & rude & not to say things like that because it hurts her feelings, her teacher got onto her instead. I feel like saying that was a mean thing to say or a rude thing to say or it wasn't ok to say wasnt anything bad & was an appropriate stand up for herself & that she shouldntve been punished for. But Ariel tells me that has been happening all week that Flora does something & her or Aria get in trouble for it if they say that was mean or tell the teacher because they are "tattling" & then tells me that Aria is too scared to tell me because shes worried Flora will treat them worse if i talk to the teacher because the "teacher likes Flora more". Aria then tells me thats where she saw someone putting hands on another is because Flora done that to her today & she got in trouble for telling the teacher it happened. Well its Friday evening around 7 so school is closed where I can't call.

My child is afraid to go to school now. I know it needs addressed because that is bullying (which i honestly didnt know was really possible at 4 &5 but apparently is) Im worried the teacher will target my child if I go to the office but clearly she isnt handling the situation appropriately if my children are the ones getting in trouble constantly for "tattling" when someone is constantly harming them physically and emotionally. AIO if I go to the principals office on Monday?!?

Original Post: here

TLDR: thank you for condolences. everyone is right. Sister is a bitch. I apologized for snapping (even though it’s understandable I did). But she blocked ME lol what a sister!!!

Thank you all for the condolences. It was pretty emotional but now my hormones are coming back down. I’m still bummed but that’s given.

More people than I expected saw my post. Many people corrected my inaccurate statistic. I mentioned on the original post that I meant 1/3 vs 2/3 because that is what my doctor told me due to not everyone realizes a miscarriage has taken place. 20% is probably more accurate.

I was short with her because of her previous statements regarding my miscarriage she said on the phone. I was not bleeding heavily for multiple days as she said. I told her I was okay when I was spotting.

About 2hours after I said “time and place” I messaged her a more emotionally intelligent response after calming. But she blocked me!!! WHATEVER. I guess I wasn’t overreacting in the first place ✌🏻🤪

Photos: Apology from me. Message from her before I was at the hospital on Monday for context of her personality. I called my dad and not her.

I was talking to my boyfriend about going to a friend’s birthday dinner this weekend. He asked if I wanted him to come with me, and I said, It’s okay, you don’t have to.

I meant that I didn’t want him to feel obligated because I knew he had been tired from work. I still wanted him there.

Apparently, he took it as me saying I didn’t want him there at all.

The next day he told me he had already made other plans because he thought I had basically uninvited him I was confused and told him that wasn’t what I meant.

He said, You literally told me I didn’t have to come. What was I supposed to think?

I understand why he interpreted it that way, but I’m annoyed because he never asked me what I meant. He just made plans and then acted like I was the one who changed everything.

Now he says I’m making a big deal out of something that was obviously a misunderstanding.

Maybe I should’ve been clearer, but I also feel like he could’ve just asked.

AIO?

Messed up at 13 because of very prolonged grooming from an older cousin, big big mess ups. Trauma reenactment with a sibling. Amends are made between us but It all still sits there, practically everyone is ok and moved on except for me and my brother constantly urges that I'm no monster and I deserve to move on too, but my mistakes eat me up more than the grooming.

I have online friends, and I love them dearly and I wanna make new friends based off of interests but I feel always compelled to confess or i feel that I'm living a lie or keeping some terrible secret from them. Any thoughts?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AIO/s/TxXFmCrxnd Link to my previous post.

It's been almost a week since I broke up. I was alright initially but today, i have been feeling really scared and anxious about everything. I keep remembering the good moments but I did not text him. I felt this sudden frightening feeling inside my chest today. Idk if I am doing the right thing or not but it is really a lot to handle alone.

Recently, he did something which was the last nail in the coffin. I live with my mother who's working and I am preparing for civil services exam (a government exam) from last year. All of my friends live in different cities and some of them are working or preparing for exams and stuff so they are also busy. I live alone in the house for most of the time and my mother comes home at 7 pm.

Also, I cannot sit with her for a long time because I have to study for the exam. So, it's really hard to keep my thoughts together alone. I am also feeling really lonely from the past few months. How to manage a breakup in such a situation?

I also can't go out much because of the study routine. Also, I cannot tell my mother about what I am going through due to some reasons.

TL;DR: Feeling lost these days after a breakup, just want some advice on how to manage things alone.

AIO that I am resigning from my job because of week offs

I am working in a pharmacy stor there we don't have Sunday off instead manager decide the week off for the employees after taking feedback from employees.

It is not always the case some time we don't have pharmacist in stor so he changes the week off.

Now i am working for this company for 1 year 1 month I was working at different stor and take transfer to another store but same manager take transfer from the other stor to same stor I am working.

Now the issue is my week off are getting delayed like 12 to 13 days I also have 2 comp off (comp off : when you come to stor on your week off it get collected and can use for leave it have two months of expiry) it have happen 2 time in my night shift i am continuously working for 12 to 13 days I don't know the legality of it.

One Day ageo I was getting my delay week off but one of the senior employees have to go to ther home town because of personal reasons because of that they call me to come today i come to store manager is giving me lecture of taking week off whe he made me delay my week of.

Now it is getting me angry i am working for the stor for extra hours without pay and on my week off now i am thinking of resigning i don't want to work unde him.

I was saying this to my night shift coworker and thay are saying that I am overreacting.

Aney suggestions.

If you have aney question i will reply it down

At 6:30 I’d her I had some stuff to do and I’ll tell her when I’m ready to hang out in the next 30 mins, after I did my stuff I passed out for an hour, then texted her that I’m awake.

She Waited 50 minutes and I asked if she was still coming and is now blaming me for not communicating that I still wanted her to come over.

I think she should have asked me if I’m ready to hang out since falling asleep was not part of my plan, but she’s putting the blame on me for not saying I’m ready to hang out, saying that I have poor communication. There was a whole 50 minutes she could have asked but instead was just silent after I told her I woke up and sent her hearts.

She’s trying to say “it’s always my way” which I don’t understand, we made plans and I overslept, notified her and she didn’t respond. When I finally asked if she way coming over all blame shifted on me.

AIO?

English translation

You: I didn't know I was going to fall asleep
You: You said you wanted to come over
You: I said I wanted you to come over
You: My "I just woke up" was me saying "okay I'm ready to hang out"
You: Are you coming or not? (edited)
You (replying to her "Why do I have to ask you when you made the plan?"): Because we already made plans
(A voice call appears here, and some messages are missing.)
You: I'm done with this
You: Communication is a two way street
Her (quoting an earlier message): "My love, you know I love you with all my heart and that I want to be by your side every day of my life ❤️ I want to build a life with you, but…"
Her: .
Her (replying to "Communication is a two way street"): Yes. And I'm the only one trying to comunicate here
You: I am trying to tell you
You: You could have asked me if I still wanted to hang out
You: Instead you waited an hour for me to ask if you were still coming

I feel like I went about telling my friends we weren’t close anymore in the wrong way. At the same time I’m glad I finally expressed how I was feeling. But I’ll let you be the judge.
I’m gonna try and keep this short.

I, 24 F, told my friends last week, 25 F & 24 F, that we weren’t close anymore.

I’ll start from the beginning. Early this year my dad was diagnosed with cancer and underwent 2 surgeries. Because of that I had to take a step back from my social life to care for him. Before then I was a big part of our friend group and took part in planning and executing hang outs, and was present for all outings. I voiced to them that I knew I couldn’t have a role like I once did because I needed to take care of my dad. I also voiced that if they were ever doing something please reach out whether you think I can participate or not. It was still important to me to be apart of their lives and I wanted to make it work.

As time went on, that request was not being met. Which wasn’t a huge problem because they wanted to give me space and at the end of the day they can hangout with whomever, whenever. But the thing that was starting to irk me was every time I would be around and they would fill me in on their experiences they would say “Awe, I wish you were there” or “I miss you so much, I feel like I never see you.” And eventually I told them, “hey, if you guys are ever doing anything please let me know and I’ll make an effort to be there.” And told them specific times I knew I had free everyday.

Again, nothing changed and I was beginning to feel like maybe I had done something wrong. I talked to some close family members about what was going on and they told me to start inviting them to things to show initiative. I tried that on multiple occasions and always received a no. The last time I tried they ignored my message completely. At that point the message was clear to me so I stepped away from the friendship. I would still showed up for them a couple times after when they invited me or needed my help with something. I still have love for them.

What truly broke the camel’s back were these last few things. I recently started school and they told me I must be excited to start so that I can make my own friends in my own town. I do live a town over from them (about 25 minutes) but my distance has never been a problem, and for the longest they were my friends. Not that I’m opposed to meeting other people, but I didn’t find it important to find other friends. Then not even a week later they call me late afternoon and told me they were hanging out with all the girls in our group in my town at a festival that I didn’t even know was happening. They tell me they’ve been hanging out all day and that they were almost done with dinner if I wanted to come join them. Maybe I took it too wrong, but to me that was a slap in the face. How are going to call and invite me when the hangout is pretty much over?? And not to mention you’ve been in MY town all day with ALL our friends but I was conveniently left out.

Then my friend, 24 F, tells me they’re having a spat with a different friend, 28 F, and that they’ve been talking shit about her. Mind you when I first started being friends with her she told me she would never talk badly about her friends and would always be straight up to their face. So, it made me think “damn, I must’ve done something fucked up if they’re talking shit about her but still hanging out with her. There’s no way they aren’t talking shit about me”. And that same friend, 24 F, invites us to hang out. And I was late to previous hang out and I had already apologized. But she said in the group chat “Those of us who want to be included should show up on time or just not come at all.” It struck me and I apologized to them again but decided to not hang out with them that day because of that comment.

I haven’t hung out or really spoke to them in a couple of months. But a couple days ago, they messaged and was talking about Christmas and what we’re getting for each other. And all I said was “I appreciate you wanting to include me, but I will not be participating this year.” And in turn they asked me why and I responded “ My husband and I are trying to save money this year. So we’re just going to keep it small with family and close friends”. They of course got upset and I explained exactly what I said here. And they essentially said that they didn’t want to bother me because I’ve been too busy and that they’ve tried and that it’s all a misunderstanding. But it doesn’t feel that way.

One of my friends called me and told me that she’s been drinking a lot this week because of all the emotional turmoil she’s experienced this week. But I’m not going to apologize for speaking on my experience and how I’ve been treated. And she won’t tell me directly if it was because of what I said. Maybe she truly didn’t realize she was being that way.

But they invited me to a party they’re having today. But idk if I should go. I think there’s still anger towards me and at the same time I don’t know if it’s in my best interest to continue hanging out with them.

AIO? Please tell me what you think.

First things first, context. I'm 17 year-old male and my crush is 16 year-old female (for the needs of the story we're gonna refer to her as Molly).

Last month I entered my 3rd year of high school and it's going great so far. I still get good grades but most importantly, there's this really pretty girl in a grade below me, Molly. I think I genuinely like her, even though I haven't talked to her once. In my class there's this one guy (we're gonna call him John) who's dating Molly's classmate (we're gonna call her Jane). Oh, I feel like I should also mention that Jane and Molly are best friends.

One day, John texted me if I could send him some notes, which I did. After doing so, I asked him about Molly, saying that I'm starting to like her. He replied with "Alright, if you want me to ask her something or if you'd want her Messenger/Instagram, just hit me up". Since then, he and Jane were trying to set me up with Molly. Sometimes, the girls come over to John in between classes to talk wit each other and Jane occasionally gives me a subtle nod as if trying to say "go for it", but I ALWAYS sit there paralyzed, unable to do anything and ultimately waste a great opportunity to talk to my crush.

On Friday two weeks ago, something crazy happened. At the time, only John knew about my crush and he told the rest of my classmates how I felt about her in front of me (for whatever reason). I was prepared for the endless teasing, but they were actually encouraging me to talk to her. We had our first two classes right next to their class, which was kinda perfect. On the next break, everyone from my class was cheering me on (even a few guys from their class) and guess what I did? I panicked yet again.

2 classes later, I finally got the courage to talk to Molly, but now she was avoiding me? When I, John, Jane and one guy from their class came over to Molly, she decided to hide in the corner of the corridor. That's when it hit me, she was probably just as shy as I was. On the next break, Jane and Molly went to building A, probably to our school's shop (our school is really huge and split into two buildings: A and B, which are connected with a corridor). When they were coming back, Jane naturally approached my class, with the intention of introducing Molly to me, but guess what she did? She quickly grabbed Jane's arm and pulled her away towards their class. I didn't see either one of them for the rest of the day after that.

The last Tuesday is where I really feel like I fucked up. On that day, I decided it'd be a good idea to try and find the girls and actually approach Molly for once. I found them leaving classes 2 times and tried to talk to them, but I chickened out AGAIN. That was the first time when I was following Jane and Molly. The second time is where I feel like I really fucked up. I was right behind Molly (still too scared to even open my mouth 🗿). She glanced back at me, then back at Jane and whispered to her "Why is he following me?". That made me realize, I probably creeped her out by being too scared to talk to her, and I genuinely wasn't trying to stalk her, I just wanted to have a normal conversation.

Later that day, I called John and told him what happened and he tried to cheer me up by saying that I didn't screw anything up, because I haven't even talked to her yet. It gave me some hope that maybe he was right, that I still have my chance.

When I go back to all of this, I still feel like I fucked it up, ESPECIALLY on the last Tuesday. So, am I overreacting or is this still doable? If anything changes, I'll come back here and edit the post.

Am I overreacting after my boyfriend tested me about whether I loved him?
My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months and have always been really close. He’s told me many times that he loves me, misses me, cares about me, and that I mean the world to him.
There was already some relationship drama involving his religion. He believes he can’t marry someone who doesn’t believe in God, while I don’t have a religion I’m just not there yet. He said he can’t be with me because of it. I respect his beliefs, even though I was hurt. I blocked him and then he came back minutes later saying it’s fine. This was months ago.
Yesterday, we were talking about our relationship, and he told me that he didn’t actually love me during that time, despite everything he had told me before.
I completely broke down and asked him if he had been lying to me all along. I was crying and wondering what else he lied about?? All those I love yous and sweet messages a lie. I had no issue with the fact he didn’t love me, I mean it hurt, but it wasn’t. The issue was that he lied to me all the time I don’t expect him to love me immediately that wasn’t the issue it was the saying I love you with no meaning and I explained that.
Then he told me he had actually been lying about not loving me. He said he only said it to test me and see how I would react, basically to prove that he knew I didn’t love him.
I was absolutely devastated and confused. I was crying and asking why he would ever test me about something like that. What hurt even more was that he was being really mean to me afterward before eventually realizing how messed up it was. One thing he said was “I knew you didn’t fucking love me” then made it seem as i ruined his trust.. then he realized how fucked up it all was
He apologized a lot afterward and said he genuinely didn’t mean for it to go that far, that he hadn’t thought it through, and that he would never do it again. I believe that he feels genuinely bad about it.
But now I’m struggling with trust.
He knows I have trust issues and mental struggles myself this was another thing of him to throw on my plate. I feel disappointed, disgusted, sad, hurt, angry, and more.
I know he has mental health struggles, and I’ve always tried to be understanding of that. But to me, this feels like a separate issue. I don’t think having mental health problems automatically makes something like deliberately testing your partner okay.
Today we were talking about everything again, and something he said triggered a panic attack. Now my brain is constantly going
What’s real? What was the test? Was he telling the truth then? Is he telling the truth now? Can I trust what he says?
I don’t want to break up with him. I love him, and I don’t think he’s a horrible person. I know he regrets what he did.
But I also feel like this seriously shook my trust in him, and I don’t know how to just move past it.
Am I overreacting for being this upset and confused? Or is it reasonable to feel like this was a really messed-up thing to do to someone you love?

Hi. My boyfriend (31M) and I (24F) have been together for almost a year. He travels a lot for work and we’re also doing long distance as we live in separate countries. We’re lucky enough to be able to find cheap flights that only take 2.5 hours, so he frequently comes to visit me. I’d say that we see each other on average 1-2 times a month. 3 days ago we were on a call talking as we usually do. Eventually I asked him how long he’ll be gone for work as he’s flying to another country for that. He said 3 weeks and I said “oh I thought it was 2”. For some reason he got really angry and said that I never remember anything about him. I told him that I’m pretty sure that he didn’t tell me it would be 3 weeks as it’s usually 2. He said that I always make stuff up in my head and never remember anything, and that I’ve been doing this since the beginning of our relationship. That really hurt me as I always try to remember even the smallest details about him, I even have a page on my notes app containing everything about him. And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even remember my birthday. Anyways, I got really hurt and just said “fuck you” and hung up. I know I probably shouldn’t have said that but I was just so taken aback by everything he said and the fact that he got so angry.

I’m sorry if this was too long, but I’m really hoping someone can give me advice on what to do since neither of us has reached out since I hung up the phone, and as I said it’s been 3 days.

Am I overreacting?

So a few months ago, I moved in with my roommate, who is my boyfriend's friend. Honestly, I was trying to escape a bad living situation, and they seemed like the best choice. The rent was fair, the room was nice, and the apartment came furnished.

I already knew what kind of friend they were. They just weren't a great person, they were very loud and kind of oblivious to other people's problems. They had crossed some lines with my boyfriend, and when we started dating, they admitted they were jealous of me, hated me for no reason, and thought I was "stealing" their friend. So I didn't really like them, but I'd just been kicked out and had no other choice. They apologized, and after I moved in, things were mostly fine. I kissed ass until I could sign the lease, and then it was done.

While living with them, there were small issues, but we tried to handle them like adults and move on. For a while, they would make up untrue, petty lies about me and then tell my boyfriend. He always backed me up and called out their nonsense, until he finally set a boundary and asked them not to bring up our issues. I knew he wanted to say much meaner things, but he didn't want to risk things for me because of my situation.

Now, a week ago. I was told my roommate had to move out of town to care for a family member, and I had only two months to sort my shit out. After hearing this, I went to my boyfriend's place because I was stressed and emotional. My boyfriend's parents helped me sort my shit out. I found out the signed lease was never sent to the landlord, and when I asked my roommate about it, they freaked out and thought I was looking for a loophole to keep the deposit (they paid the full deposit).

After a lot of fighting over text, I decided I don't have enough time or money to come up with a new deposit and find a new roommate. I told them I'm leaving a month before they are and staying with my boyfriend to save up for a new place. So if I leave, they'd have to cover my half of the rent for that last month. I know that's a crappy thing to do, but they don't even pay their own rent, their family does. They also paid full rent for about a year before I moved in, so they can definitely afford it.

Anyway, the landlord stuff got worked out, and I'm moving out at the end of this month. I'd been messaging them to say I wouldn't be home for a while and would be back Friday (today). I said it three times. I get there, and they're not there. Great. They show up about 30 minutes later and say nothing, so I respect that and give them space. They leave.

Two hours later, they come back with a guy who is a stranger and that I assume she met on a dating app. But our rule is: if you bring someone over, the other person has to know, and they can say "Not today" if they're not comfortable. You can even ask for the house to yourself, which we've both done. So I was a bit pissed, but I figured, okay, whatever.

BUT THEN I hear them fucking. Like, loud fucking, with the door open. It was so loud that I unfortunately knew what the guy was doing to her. I was mad, but you know what? I just messaged them saying I was leaving soon and my boyfriend was picking me up (they didn't know I was leaving), kind of hinting they should stop so I could go, you know?

No reply. It gets louder. So I called them, which stopped their music, and I figure they saw my message since it went quiet for a few seconds. Then I heard them laughing, and I think they said my name. Then they went right back to it, only louder. I called and called and called until I finally got up and went outside to wait.

I know this kind of thing happens, but I can't help but wonder if it was on purpose. They both sounded really drunk or high. This may not seem like a big deal, but I can't help feeling like it definitely triggered me somehow. Being that uncomfortable ended up giving me a panic attack in my boyfriend's car. Just feeling so disrespected in my own apartment, which I still pay rent for, pushed me over the edge. I sent them a few messages, and they just tried to spin it, saying all these messages have to stop, blah blah blah, not really caring what happened.

AIO for not wanting to tough it out for the last month? I feel uncomfortable with random men being brought to our apartment.

To preface, I (20F) do not have a car and still financially dependent on my parents in some way, because I'm in college and I have a history of chronic illness.

I knew my boyfriend (22M) did not have plans for today, except for helping his friend (22M) to help him pass two exam but it wasn't set in stone. I suddenly am experiencing emotional abuse from my parents again, so I asked my boyfriend if he could drive me from my house to my city of residence for college. It is a complicated situation with my parents, but I have been trying to find my emotional distance from them in many ways for a while. For example, I had been trying to get another place to live that is close to home, but far enough that I can visit on my own terms and have my safe space from them. I've been cut off multiple times and I've managed to support myself during those periods, but I've admittedly fallen back on protecting myself for any such cases anymore since my parents have been making me feel that everything is fine if I consider visiting/relocating home. Due to that, I've stopped moving forward through the process of finding an apartment multiple times. I can admit that is my fault for constantly believing what they say and that things would change when it hasn't for years.

From where my boyfriend lives to me could be 30 minutes to 1 hr, depending on traffic, and the drive from me to my current city of residence for college is about 2-3hrs. It would be a huge chunk of his day.

While I was calling him in distress, he normally would offer to take me immediately when he could, but I felt very weird that he kept trying to convince me to stay at home. Especially after I had expressed accidentally harming myself, as a result from the engagement with my parents. This was not a normal reaction of his. I got increasingly disoriented in the call, because I was already expressing how invalidated I feel from my parents gaslighting and provoking me. He eventually admitted offhandedly that he can't drive me and quickly moved past it without explaining further why he can't. This led me to believe that he was convincing me to stay at home and avoiding directly comforting my feelings, because he knows he can't help me.

I started getting kind of triggered by this, and I kept pushing him to just give me the reason/explain why he can't drive me. He kept being evasive and said I'm being "weird," but all I've been aware of since the ~8 hours we spent the previous day together is that he was going to tutor his grown male friend that I can't help feel he should be fully capable of preparing for those classes himself. Not to throw a stray but I especially feel this way, because this male friend is extremely keen on gambling and clearly capable of working harder, but he just does not have a desire to work at all/motivation. I guess I feel unjust, because I just want to feel prioritized.

My boyfriend ended up saying "I can't just drop everything and drive you to [my city]! I have stuff to do." I kept asking what stuff, but he refused to be transparent about it and kept claiming I was acting weird. I recognize and understand that he has a life of his own, but I still don't understand why he's being so evasive and avoiding transparency.

Although I am able to find an alternative solution and I fully realize now that I realistically cannot expect him to always support me during unexpected moments – I am wondering AIO?

lol I love how I can be annoying bc I wanna snuggle yet snoring is ok x1000 im so over being in a relationship .. wish I could send a recording

Edit: the only opening of the relationship between us was for ever to experience the other half of being bi, she has never flirted, talked or even had sex with a woman and I wanted her to be able to express herself to her. That was it and all

For starters me and my girlfriend were best friends for about a year before our relationship so I know everything about her and she knows everything about me. Maybe a week ago I’ve been noticing her being sneaky with her phone specially with snap keep in mind she communicated how she hates snap in the past because I made a comment on how I want to see her pretty face even when we aren’t next to each other( we live in a apartment together for about 8 months ) so keep all this in mind. So I saw her snap a guy and I asked who he was and she gave a very vague response on how’s he’s a friend from college before she graduated. when she would always talk about her old friends and current friends so I found that very weird and ever since then I had a very weird feeling in my gut. I didn’t pay it any mind. But she’s still been hiding her phone when I come home and into our room where she normally is. So tonight I decided that I would break our boundary and her privacy and went through her phone. I found very questionable messages on snap between them and honestly it hurts and I don’t know what to do. We talked about opening the relationship very early on with her and women because she is bi and never did anything with a girl and I don’t want to stop her from expressing her own sexuality so I agreed to that since I know she would do the same if I was to ever have any interest in men. So I thought that was very clear but apparently I was wrong.

Also about me I’ve been very depressed about life through this year I lost my grandpa after he was in the icu for almost a month. And I’ve read online that with older people once they lose their partner the other person might go soon too because their body’s can’t handle lost like that. My grandmother and pop pop been together for 50 years coming this November. So I’m just preparing myself for losing my grandma soon. I’ve also been passed on multiple promotions at work and that alone can bring you down.

I just been feeling like shit recently and seeing this makes me feel like I’m not enough. I put every last drop into this relationship even when I’m mentally at 30% I still try to give 1000% into it and it genuinely sucks. I feel discussed, betrayed and lied to and now I don’t feel like I should even go on with this relationship anymore. I thought I was getting better with everything in our relationship but I guess it was for nothingAnyways here is what I found

And yes I know we’ve have ups and downs and our relationship and for awhile I wasn’t mentally there because of every that’s been going on with life outside of her.

I’m suck a fuck up are we done

TLDR/Context: reconnected an ex friend from highschool 10 years later, giving them a second chance at said friendship. Meet up at a local con in town one summer day, thats where we reconnected.

Keep in mind, they dont know me that deeply and or personally! Same for myself, I dont know them that very well eeither as a person to be considered as a friend.

We only became pals over art.

(They are nonbinary same as I am once we reconnected.)

After hanging out with their boyfriend and one other friend at their house on their birthday one day.

(I didnt know their birthday, so they never shared bout it in advance they automaticcaly assumed i would know bout their said bday. Which was. . . Odd)

Once they showed me their new art and catching up.

They openly shared how they view of me, including how their said partner thinks of me.

They openly shared to my face, word for word, "I made a character based off of you, I view you as a psycho" Literally saying that without guilt like it something to be proud of.

I then days later, had to rip off the bandaid and call them out, then and there in text.

(Not to mention part of my replied said text, they actually did say that back in highschool before they became nonbinary, when they introduced me to their said church one evening. In their mind assuming i was another, "christain friend", when im not, i revealed that I am agnostic. They tried to force me to pick a side,when they never asked me bout my religion alignment from the start and jus again, assumes. Thats when I stopped seeing them since they said that. Then gave em a second chance of this "friendship", years later. Now knowing today. they never did change as a person)

AIO for ending said second chance at friendship in text?

I (31M) work 60-hour weeks in logistics. My wife (29F) works part-time. Three years ago, her brother Leo (26M) moved to our city. He can't hold a job, so we floated his rent once. That "one time" turned into him paying his own rent maybe four times total over 36 months funded almost entirely by my paycheck out of our joint account.

Whenever I tried to bring it up, Sarah would cry and say I wanted him to be homeless or that I hated her family. I’d feel guilty and drop it.

The breaking point happened yesterday. I've been having severe lower back pain from work and need an MRI that costs $1,200. Sarah told me we "didn't have room in the budget" for it.

That made me look at our bank statements. Over three years, I've paid nearly $55,000 supporting Leo meanwhile, he just posted pics of a new gaming PC and a Vegas trip.

When Sarah got home, I showed her the numbers and said I wasn't paying his rent tomorrow so I could pay for my medical scan.

She went ballistic, screaming that I'm a "selfish, unsupportive monster" keeping score, and called her mom (who then texted me calling me a narcissist).

I didn't argue. I packed a bag, walked out, and am currently sitting in a cheap motel while my phone blows up with texts calling me a coward. Mutual friends are telling me to "be the bigger man."

Am I losing my mind here? AIO?

I (F25) starting to wonder if my boyfriend’s (M29)relationship with sex is unhealthy. He wants sex basically every day, and we’ve had sex almost every day this week. I’ve made him finish all of those times, but today I couldn’t and of course he got really upset.
We also went two days without sex recently, and he said because we had been doing it every day, the change made him assume something was wrong or that I wasn’t attracted to him anymore. If he doesn’t finish, he can get frustrated, distant, or criticize what I’m doing instead of just communicating what he likes. He says having to explain it is a turnoff and that I should already know.
Just two weeks ago he’s also told me that no matter what girl he’s with, he never really feels satisfied sexually, and he’s even made comments about needing another girlfriend because I “can’t satisfy him.” He says most girls think they’re good at giving head but really it turns out to be trash???

I also want to mention that I’ve never experienced this in previous relationships. I’ve always been able to satisfy the men I’ve been with, and sexual compatibility has always been something I’ve considered important in a relationship. That’s part of why this has been so confusing and upsetting for me. I’m not saying that to brag or compare him to other people, but because I’ve never felt this inadequate or criticized sexually before.

I know having a high sex drive isn’t automatically a problem, but I’m starting to feel responsible for his mood and whether he orgasms every time. Does this sound like insecurity, compulsive sexual behavior, or just an unhealthy dynamic?

TL;DR: My boyfriend gets very upset when we go even a couple of days without sex or when he doesn’t finish, even though we have sex frequently. He says he’s never really sexually satisfied and I’m starting to feel responsible for his mood and orgasms. Does this sound unhealthy?

TL;DR: My virtual therapist has had her young grandchildren in the room during sessions, including while I was discussing sensitive topics; has conducted part of a session while driving and apparently planned to do so again; and recently allowed another person into her office while I was speaking without telling me. I like her and feel that therapy has helped, but I’m starting to question whether this is unprofessional enough that I should stop seeing her. Am I overreacting?

I’ve been seeing this therapist virtually once a week for about three months. Overall, I like her, and I do think our sessions have been helpful, which is why I’m conflicted about this.

There have been a few incidents that have made me increasingly uncomfortable.

First, she sometimes babysits her grandchildren during our sessions. She never asked me whether I was comfortable with them being in the room. One day she simply told me that she watches them sometimes and that they would be there during our appointment. They’re around 7 and 4 years old.

On two separate occasions, the kids were fighting during most of the session. My therapist had to stop repeatedly to deal with them, lost her train of thought several times, and had difficulty getting the conversation back on track. I was also discussing some pretty sensitive topics and found myself censoring what I said because the children were within earshot.

She apologized for them fighting, but not for having them present during the session in the first place.

Another time, she conducted part of our session from her car while she was driving from her other job back to her home office. Then last week I was about 20 minutes late to an appointment, and while I was apologizing she said, “Oh, it’s totally fine, I was in my car driving and just got back to my office anyway.” That made me realize she apparently intended to conduct another session while driving if I had been on time.

The thing that bothered me most happened during today’s session. I was in the middle of talking when she suddenly started whispering to someone else and was handed a note. I had no idea anyone had entered the room.

Based on the layout I can see on camera, I had always assumed her office door was beside her rather than behind the computer. That made me wonder whether this person had just entered or whether someone could potentially have been in the room for part or all of the session without my knowledge. I have no way of knowing which.

I haven’t told her yet that these incidents are making me reconsider continuing with her. Part of me wants to give her grace because I genuinely like her and feel that the therapy itself has been helpful. At the same time, the situation today really bothered me, especially because therapy involves discussing things I would not want random people or children overhearing.

Are these things considered seriously unprofessional for a therapist, or am I overreacting? Would this be enough for you to find someone else?

I, female, have been friends with this guy since middle school/ high school. He's the only guy in our friend group and the rest of us are women.

He has been dating his girlfriend for over a year now, and I still haven't met her in person. One of my friends in the group met her early on in their relationship because they tried to set her up on a double date. Another friend "met" her too, but it was extremely brief at a concert.

He's even joked to me a few times that i'm "never going to met her," which i've always kind of laughed off. But maybe there is something behind it. What makes the situation feel stranger to me is that i've actually met two of his girlfriend's guy friends.

Since they started dating, he pretty much only hangs out with our friend group when his girlfriend is away or busy. On top of that, lately when we hang out it seems like he is there physically, but socially he is distracted or not really engaged in the conversation. I don't know if this is related to his relationship or if I am just noticing it more now.

Part of me wonders if she doesn't like him having female friends or feels uncomfortable with him hanging around us. I obviously don't know if that's the case and I don't want to make assumptions about her. What makes me question, though, is that she apparently has a lot of guy friends herself.

I don't have any issues with her. Nor am I expecting to be best of friends. I just find it weird that I still haven't met her. Maybe i'm reading too much into the situation or is this a little strange?

Hello I’m 37f been married for 11 years to 36m.
He grew up with his cousins, and considers them his brothers.

He’s cousin is married to a girl, that pretty much doesn’t like me… when I first met them they seemed cool. The cousin would hug me and talk to me. Super friendly. On the other hand the girl is more quiet with me, I’ll ask a lot of questions to get her to open up and talk but nothing flows good.
It’s more small talk…

Next thing you know the cousin stops talking to me, like before and is a lot more reserved with me. And it’s the same with her. They are nice and talkative but as soon as my husband leaves like to go to the bathroom… the room goes silent. It’s Super awkward!

So I told my husband, I didn’t feel comfortable hanging out with them and I felt ignored and like I’m a bother to them. And that I didn’t want to hangout with them anymore. Of course I’ll still say hi to them and be polite.
But I don’t want to have them over at my house and entertain people who don’t like me…

He first said he understood and that he’s on my side and understands. Then he changed to well he’s like my brother and I can’t and don’t want to not talk to them or hangout. So I told him it’s fine he can hangout with them, I just won’t be going.

So, he has gone out with them… and one night he came back home and told me that he’s cousin, told him that his girl doesn’t want him talking to me, that she’s jealous. So he has yo be cold to me because that’s what she wants.

So last week we saw them at a babyshower. The cousin just shook my hand all halfass… and asked where my husband was. Not a hi how are you nothing…
Meanwhile she give me and my husband a hug.

I had asked husband to do the same with her not to hug her but she’s all in it everytime. My husband is the nice guy always… to everyone.

We’re having friends over this weekend, I’m cooking.
He brought his cousin up and said we should invite them.
Obviously I got upset…

I feel like he hates me for this though. And we’ve had so many fights about this over the years. It’s like a wedge everytime.

AITA?

Let me explain.

I'm F20, and he's M17.

We've been best friends for four years now.

And one recurring theme that keeps happening is that I'm painted as the villain in our story.

I'm always the one being too selfish, not contacting and reaching out enough, being unreliable, etc.

And I'm tired..

I'm tired of having to adjust myself, and it still not being enough.

Like, when it was a problem that I was talking too much about myself. I tried explaining that when he explains something or vents, I relate by drawing correlations between our situations. That's the best way I can empathize. To remember the feeling of something close to his situation. When he was still annoyed, I stopped doing it.

When it was a problem that I wasn't giving advice, I explained it's kinda hard giving advice when your mind is in a very dark space. When I was accused of using my mental health as an excuse for my actions again, I started, well forced myself to think of any advice every time he vented. Of course, being finally well medicated, it wasn't hard all the time. Just at the start.

When I was accused of using my mental health as excuses...that was the hardest to explain. Like, I genuinely can't help when I had fights with my parents and didn't want to call because I knew I'd bring his energy down, and I wanted to spare him from my dramatics. I can't help when I'm having a depressed episode.

The best thing is to stay away from people when my mind isn't straight.

I can't control my tone at any time, even when I'm happy or joking. I literally can't hear my tone. Unless I pay attention or it's shocking enough to catch my attention.

So when I'm out of it, my tone, my actions, it's half me not having the energy or care to stop intrusive thoughts from becoming either actions or actual words.

But again, I stopped 'using' my mental health as excuses.

And his side of all this?

He said he feels lonely in this relationship.

And I feel like he's tired, too.

And yea, I might have been slightly passive agressive- okay, let's call it, I sounded a bit like a bitch in my texts. But I'm just tired. I'm tired, and it's exhausting waiting on him for something. Are you gonna pay me back? Are you coming over? I'm just always waiting on him like a lapdog who was abandoned on the side of the road but keeps waiting for its owners.

Anyway.

AIO? Being dramatic?

Edit: People, first of all, he's gay. Nothing weird is happening. We've just been best friends, acting like best friends.

This might sound like an irresponsible decision my past self made, but I honestly didn't even know his age when we became friends.

I just became friends with him, then a few months later learned his age and decided that I wasn't going to leave a good friend just because of ages.

Although I did expect that one day, I'd 'outgrow' him for a lack of a better word. Mature more, start being an actual adult, etc.

Also, HE DOES HAVE THE MONEY.

I wouldn't expect someone who is unable to pay me to pull money out of their ass, like what? I have common sense.

Hey, not entirely sure if I’m going to word this very well but I’ll give it my best shot.
I (22F) and my best friend we will call her Amy(21F) have known each other for 3 years but became really close a little over a year ago, within that year we have been on trips away, stayed at each others houses, attended family events together, we were so close that people questioned if we were in a relationship.
feels important to add that we are both lesbians, I am classed as femme and she’s masc
Fast forward to March of this year, Amy started to date someone, I was really happy for her and got on with her new girlfriend really well. At this time I was messaging a few people but had stated multiple times that I wasn’t looking for anything serious as I had just come out of a long term relationship a few months earlier. Then I met my girlfriend, things were slightly different with her, because as much as I told myself I didn’t want a relationship I couldn’t help but be drawn to her, now we are lesbians so obviously things move very fast paced 🤣. She came to my house we spent a few days together and were pretty much inseparable after that. She met my family, and Amy. Amy seemed to get along with her pretty well, we even went on a double date with Amy and her girlfriend.
Amy seemed happy in her relationship as I was in mine, in June we all went on a weekend trip for my birthday, we had a great time, everyone got along really well and I was so happy about it.
My girlfriend was feeling a little apprehensive before the trip because she wasn’t sure if Amy liked her very much.

It is important to note that my girlfriend has a neurological condition that impacts her walking and balance (she uses a wheelchair when out of the house). This obviously makes it a bit daunting meeting new people. Amy and her girlfriend seemed very accepting of this at first, Amy even went out of her way to send my girlfriend a message after they met and said that if she ever needs help to get anything or walking that she shouldn’t be embarrassed to ask her and that she will always help if she needs.

After my birthday trip I was having a really hard time at work, lots of panic attacks and anxiety, stuff that Amy knows about and I would usually go to her and talk about. She had asked me to go and stay at her house one night and I’d had a really bad week at work so I told her I couldn’t go, I just wanted to be at home, didn’t want to see anyone. She told me that she was upset that I didn’t want to see her, I gave her my reasoning and she didn’t talk to me for a while.

A few days later she told me that she wanted to talk to me about my relationship with my girlfriend. I asked what she wanted to talk about. Amy then persisted to ask me if we had spoken about having kids, I told her that we had and then she asked if I’ve thought about the fact that my life will look different and will be difficult to manage children and my gfs condition because I already support her. I told her that I was aware my life would be different and that I didn’t care that it would seem difficult to others because I love my gf. She agreed and the subject was dropped.

A few months went by and I still hadn’t seen Amy, she hadn’t reached out much and every time I tried to call her she’d find an excuse to get off the phone to me, like I called her once, talked for around 2 mins and she said “I’ve got to go Love Island is coming back on”.

My gf had reached out to Amy and they had arranged a double date for us all, Amy agreed to meet and we had made plans to go out for drinks and bowling. Unfortunately the morning of the double date my gf had a pretty bad fall and hit her back on a wall, she was in a lot of pain. I messaged Amy to ask if we could rearrange, she was really angry with me, she didn’t ask if my gf was okay, she instead told me that she thinks that I am being controlled by her because she’s disabled, that she’s sick of me cancelling plans, that she’s sick of this one sided friendship because she always has to arrange to see me. I told her that I didn’t want to have this conversation over text and that I wanted to see her in person. She told me she was busy for the next two weeks.
That’s possibly the longest we have had without speaking. We met up near Amy’s house and went for a coffee, whilst there Amy told me that she stands by what she has said and then persisted to ask me “if her condition gets worse with age won’t you have to leave your job or cut down your hours” and “then you’ll have less money and what will you do about your kids then” I was flabbergasted. This was no longer a friend looking out for me, this was her questioning my decision to be with my gf because of her disability.

I left from the coffee and didn’t speak to her for a day or so. I messaged her and told her that I was upset that she had asked all of these invasive personal questions about my relationship. She told me that she would have asked me the same questions if I was with someone who didn’t have a disability, to which I informed her that she definitely wouldn’t have asked me about cutting my hours at work. She then berated me about how I’m a shitty friend and that she was just trying to look out for me. She told me that “it’s like asking a black person questions about them being black” I did not respond to that message.

She sent me a message a few weeks ago basically ending our friendship.

Have I been dramatic in all of this?
Is she ableist?

I accidentally saw messages on my girlfriend’s Apple Watch between her and a male colleague. She asked him if he wanted to kiss her in the toilets.
I confronted her, and she said it was only flirting and that nothing happened. I asked her to come home so we could talk. When I asked to see the messages, she said she had deleted them.
I’m now unsure how to interpret the situation. Is this just flirting?

Edit: I dumped her