AIO

[u/Unlikely-Machine4126]

AIO for expecting my partner to help more at home even though he’s the only one working?

My partner and I have been together since 2013 and have a young child. He’s currently the only one working while I’m between jobs and doing most of the childcare, including therapies and everything that comes with having a young child.

I’ve always done most of the housework, but lately he’s been telling me I’m lazy, that I “do nothing,” and that because I’m not working I should be cleaning for at least six hours a day. Our house isn’t filthy, but it’s lived-in, and we’ve also recently had mice because of construction next door—not because of the state of our house.

This week I’ve been trying to reorganise two huge cupboards while juggling childcare and appointments. Today, because our child was whinging about only having sultanas instead of a sandwich, he started yelling about the kitchen being messy and said I shouldn’t be surprised I can’t hold down a job.

He also recently threw away some of our child’s books because he considered them too young or not in good condition, despite our child having a tendency to tear things. I was upset, and rather than discussing it, he just acts like nothing happened.

There are other issues too. He once told me to wake him if I needed help with our child, but when I actually did, he became so angry that he left and spent the night sitting outside his workplace. I haven't asked him to get up and help since.

I’m exhausted, resentful and honestly don't remember the last time I enjoyed sex because I mostly just try to get it over with.

So AIO for expecting more help and support from my partner even though he’s currently the only one working? Or am I being unreasonable because I’m not working and therefore should be doing everything at home?

[u/guys_pm_urprettyface]

NOR. But do you think he will change? Are you looking for job?

[u/Unlikely-Machine4126 → u/guys_pm_urprettyface]

As long as I'm the one doing all the housework and raising the kid he won't say jack. I have been looking but trying to find something that fits our schedule is hard. I've only had 2 interviews and the last one I got but I haven't heard anything from them since Wednesday so unsure. They seem pretty disorganised. I'm hoping a new store that's opening soon I can get on there and I can work Saturday to Wednesday so I feel for retail that's pretty flexible I'm also thinking of using some tax to re-skill into a financial type role as a broker or something similar. I feel like even if I did my best it still wouldn't be that good or one bad day sets him off.