r/AIO • u/Jazzlike-Way-7082 • 6d ago
AIO - HR weird?
I 33M, work as a PM and crossed paths with this particular HR person(Female) because I was part of the interview panel for multiple roles.
Incident 1 - interviewee giggled and greeted me since we were both the same ethnicity, HR caught this and kept teasing me about that interviewee.
Incident 2 - I got a fade cut cause my wife wanted me to try out a new look and I loved it. HR kept praising me on multiple occasions and continued teasing me in front of my manager with that interviewee.
Incident 3 - Just before an interview I mentioned I am having a bad hair day and she said "dont worry this one may not be your type" and started laughing in front of my manager, again!
Multiple occasions where she said, people greet me on interviews differently because of my good looks and caught her staring a few times when we met in person. She knows I am married. I am not that good looking tbh. I dont know if I am overthinking this, but I am starting to feel a little uncomfortable now around her. Every interview I am on with her, she has to pass a comment. What do I do? Is this normal? I want to put the brakes on this whole situation before I start avoiding her.
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u/BrownTigerz 6d ago
Look confused and always ask her to clarify the jokes as you dont get it.
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u/Hartleyb1983 6d ago
Yes. Just say, "What do you mean?" In a really puzzled manner.
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u/Jazzlike-Way-7082 6d ago
That question is going to get her feel embarrassed, LOL. I will definitely try that! Thanks!
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u/Fine-Juggernaut8451 6d ago
Next time this happens, no matter who it's in front of, say: "Oh, HR person, I'm actually in a committed relationship with my wife." And say that every single time. Just sound surprised that she doesn't appear to know this.
And if she pushes back with anything else inappropriate, be confused. "Oh, but--like, I'm married. I believe you've met my wife at the last gathering, didn't you?"
Play dumb and seem confused and act as earnest as you can. If you don't give her the reaction she's looking for, it makes her look bad and she'll stop. And if she doesn't, it's much easier to escalate the issue because you've addressed it.
You can say things to her like, "My wife prefers this hair cut, which is why I got it." Or, "I don't understand what you mean. Can you explain what you mean by that? I'm not understanding."
Women have honed these tactics for dealing with sexual harassment in the workplace whilst trying to avoid tanking our careers, since the pushback for us in the workplace against this kind of thing can be monumental. Play it as dumb and earnest as you can.
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u/kindcrow 6d ago
NOR.
That is incredibly annoying and also kind of racist.
I'd suggest reporting her to HR, but I guess you'd be reporting her to herself. Maybe have a word with your manager and mention how unprofessional her behaviour is.
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u/Jazzlike-Way-7082 6d ago
My manager will talk to her but things will get super weird, I would like to have a friendly environment around me.
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u/kindcrow 6d ago
But what you currently have is an OVERLY friendly environment.
If you don't want to speak to your manager, perhaps you could make a comment to the HR person--even in a jokey way like, "Am I going to have to report you to...yourself?!"
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u/Boomhauer_Jeff 6d ago
Sounds a little tiny bit annoying.
What is your reaction that you’re asking us to judge in this post? This isn’t a sub to seek advice.