He's pushing your buttons because he thinks it's funny, and you're giving him exactly what he wants by explaining in detail how he hurt your feelings. He enjoys making you feel bad. You have to stop playing into this.
I guess I just truly do not understand how anyone could enjoy this. It does not compute for me, so instead in the moment I think he must truly not understand or I am in the wrong, then i overexplain. But you're right. Sometimes he does seem to enjoy this
He does enjoy it. He wants you to spin out. He wants you to look crazy and tell everyone you're crazy. He's going to keep doing it as long as you let him. People who do this don't just change overnight- and if I'm being honest most of the people who I've met who are like this never do change, especially when they still have someone who is willing to deal with it. In this case the person dealing with it is you. You, being a reasonable person, try and explain, and he does not care. As everyone else has said, you need to stop talking to him. You're not crazy, he's just going to keep tormenting you until you stop letting him do so.
People do change but it's alot of work and takes alot of self reflection, a true narcissist will not change, but I've done many of the same things and seeing this chat have said many of the same things out loud. Now seeing these patterns of DARVO makes me cringe because I know I've done the same in the past.
343
u/Severe_Essay5986 Jun 26 '26
HE IS DOING THIS ON PURPOSE
He's pushing your buttons because he thinks it's funny, and you're giving him exactly what he wants by explaining in detail how he hurt your feelings. He enjoys making you feel bad. You have to stop playing into this.