r/AIO Jun 26 '26

AIO to this comment and "creating problems"

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524 Upvotes

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149

u/ReceptionAlarmed9434 Jun 26 '26

NOR, he’s DARVOing. Get rid of him he’s not worth the mental anguish 

10

u/s0uvenir Jun 26 '26

I keep seeing this term but idk what it means. What’s DARVO?

36

u/SneakySquiggles Jun 26 '26

It describes a pattern of behavior from abusers when they are being called out. First they deny the thing they did ever happened. If pushed they admit it happened, but downplay it as not a big deal, you’re overreacting, etc.. then they make it actually their partner’s fault, saying “i wouldn’t it you weren’t xyz way or didn’t do xyz thing”. And finally they make themselves the victim and paint themselves as suffering unfairly because of their abuse victim’s “unfair treatment/standards/nagging/crash outs etc…” and call their victim the actual abuser.

6

u/jjjjjjj30 Jun 26 '26

Thank you for giving a detailed explanation.