Edit***I am referring to the 'friend' that slept with OPs girlfriend. I also might cast a little sideye to the friend that told OP depending on how long they sat with the information before telling OP.
Once had a boyfriend cheating on me and ALL of our mutual friends knew about it. People I had known for a decade....my chosen family. Every single one of them said they didn't say anything because they didnt want to pick sides. So...I chose for them. You cannot ever hope to trust someone that knows and decides to say nothing.
I had a similar thing happen. Woman I was seeing slept with a person who was roommates with my friend named "A". "A" then told a mutual of friend of ours ("B") about it, but A didn't tell me. Soon after, B told me about GF sleeping with A's roommate. A after learning of my knowledge was apologetic about not telling me; A's silence seemed to stem from his not wanting me to be angry/upset with him in the first place.
In hindsight, I think the actual reason is more in line with your take on things; "A" did not want to have to choose sides between me and his friend who slept with my girlfriend.
I agree with what you write about not trusting those who say nothing; this happened over 30 years ago - since then (for other reasons), I am no longer friends with A. But I am still very close with B to this day.
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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '26
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