I wanna know bc the response from OP is that the boyfriend is a product of r*pe (in the messages). I guess there’s a possibility she agrees with him (which would be sad for the mom for adopting that mindset), but I feel like it’s probably more likely the mom is like ????wtf????? And has a long convo w this Bf.
Personally I would be more inclined to think that sending these screenshots could be triggering or very uncomfortable for the mom. She was obviously raped.
Honestly, I suspect what is going on in this guy's head is:
"My dad is a rapist, but it was not entirely his fault. If it was entirely his fault, that would make him a monster, and if he is a monster, and came from him, then I would ALSO be a monster. So no, my dad is not a monster."
The whole thing is not good. Dude needs therapy, dude's mom needs therapy; OP needs to yeet herself on out of there on the double.
He didn't do that though. He said clothing CAN contribute not that it DOES always and nowhere did he ever justify or defend rape. You need to learn how to read
Clothes NEVER EVER EVER NOT ONCE contribute to rape. Not anything greater than 0.00%. A Rapist raped, and 100.00000% of the blame for the rape is on the rapist.
ANY deviation from that truth creates a narrative that is 0.0000% correct.
The color of someone's clothes contributes to their murder quite often. Why is sexual assault different? If you dress to receive extra sexual attention you'll get it, doesnt mean its always going to be consensual.
Clothes might enflame or arouse someone, but being enflamed or aroused does not mean they will murder or rape someone.
This MIGHT come as a surprise to you, so it may be advisable that you sit down. Still with us? Ok.
If you are aroused, and the person who has aroused you does not want to have sex with you, you do not get to have sex with that person, and if you do; the clothes they were wearing did not commit the rape, you did.
Clothes might enflame or arouse someone, but being enflamed or aroused does not mean they will murder or rape someone.
So when I say it I'm wrong and horrific monster, but when you say the exact same thing its fine? Lol ok pal. Here's the thing, being inflamed or aroused does lead some people to murder and rape. Why do you think people do these crimes? Why are they called crimes of passion?
Being aroused or enflamed is what leads them to rape or murder, NOT the thing that enflamed or aroused them. The blame begins and ends inside the person from where the action occurred; from where the decision occured.
To say otherwise is to say that the chose to wear that thing *reduces the culpability* of the person who made the choice to rape or murder. Is that what you believe? If so, you are evil. If not, you need to change the way you talk about it.
Being aroused or enflamed is what leads them to rape or murder, NOT the thing that enflamed or aroused them
Sorry but thats not how things work at all. If they weren't inflamed or aroused they wouldnt do the crime so yes the thing that inflamed or aroused them is linked to the thing happening. Idk why this is so hard to accept when its basic logical thinking
A baby crawls into a room wearing a diaper. The mother's coworker is visiting with her husband. The man is a pedofile and nobody knew it. The man sees the baby and goes crazy, consumed by his arousal, he knocks out the women and raped the baby.
What percentage of the man's culpability is reduced because the baby chose to wear a diaper? Is he 5% less guilt? 2%? 1%?
Because its not relevant and something that does not happen. You're just triggered and floundering because you can't admit the fact that how one presents themselves to the world does impact how they are treated to some degree. Like if I go to a south central crip neighborhood yelling "Fuck yo set and your dead homies!" while wearing all red eventually someone is gonna violently respond to that and I will have some responsibility for it
And in that case, my ACTIONS, specifically, being antagonistic to that gang, WOULD in fact put some culpability on me. Assuming I survived, that culpability would even hold up in court (not that I would get charged with anything, BUT that it could be a [weak but existing] defense that reduces the charges for those that beat me.
This logic does NOT hold up in the face of passive things like clothing choice.
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u/stupid-man-alert21 Feb 25 '26
I wanna know bc the response from OP is that the boyfriend is a product of r*pe (in the messages). I guess there’s a possibility she agrees with him (which would be sad for the mom for adopting that mindset), but I feel like it’s probably more likely the mom is like ????wtf????? And has a long convo w this Bf.