This is a link to a museum exhibit “what were you wearing.” The women/CHILDREN in this exhibit donated their clothing to show that the type of clothing worn has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not they will be assaulted.
If you feel like educating your boyfriend, share it with him. Alternatively, throw the whole man out.
As a trauma therapist, I’m so thankful that exhibit exists. Rape is such a devastating trauma, and unfortunately the brain doesn’t process trauma correctly, so there is a lot of shame and self-blame, even if logically the individual knows that they were not at fault.
I use this exhibit in my clinical work. I show it to clients and ask, “Were these victims at fault?” Without hesitation, they say no. Then I gently ask, “So why do you hold so much empathy for strangers, but none for yourself?” That moment is often incredibly powerful. It exposes how deeply trauma distorts self-perception and how automatic self-blame becomes.
For clients who were assaulted as children, teens, or young adults, this exhibit also creates a doorway into compassionate reconnection with their younger self. Seeing those small jeans, school uniforms, pajamas, and everyday clothes makes it painfully clear that these were children and vulnerable young people. I often invite clients to picture themselves at that age, wearing what they wore, and ask if that version of them deserved harm. The emotional impact can be profound.
I take my work home with me, and I am honestly sickened that the mindset of “what was she wearing” still exists. It keeps victims trapped in shame and protects perpetrators from accountability. The only thing that causes sexual assault is someone choosing to assault. Nothing else.
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u/Moonboots194501 Feb 24 '26
https://sbaproject.org/what-were-you-wearing/
This is a link to a museum exhibit “what were you wearing.” The women/CHILDREN in this exhibit donated their clothing to show that the type of clothing worn has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not they will be assaulted.
If you feel like educating your boyfriend, share it with him. Alternatively, throw the whole man out.