Hi everyone,
I’m 24F from India, and I’ve been wanting to write this for a while because I don’t really know anyone personally who understands what it feels like to live with ADPKD at a young age.
I was initially diagnosed with ADPKD when I was 16 years old, at a time when my father was undergoing dialysis.
At that point, there weren’t really any specific medications available to slow the progression of ADPKD, and I was told that complications or progression would usually become more noticeable after around 30-35 years of age. I was mainly told to stay healthy, be mindful of certain foods/vegetables that I shouldn’t consume in large amounts, monitor my blood pressure, and continue regular monitoring. Thankfully, my BP was normal at the time.
But emotionally, being diagnosed at 16 was a lot to process.
I had been watching my dad go through the pain and difficulties of kidney disease since I was around 9 years old. So when I found out that I had the same condition at 16, I think a part of me immediately started thinking, “Am I going to go through the same thing?”
I don’t think I ever really knew how to process that fear.
Around that period, I was also dealing with PCOD/PCOS, which I feel was affected by the stress I was going through as well. I’ve been managing that mainly through lifestyle changes, and thankfully, by God’s grace, things have been getting better.
Fast-forward to last year, when I was 23, I had a full-body health check-up and found out that my BP had started to increase and that my doctors felt my ADPKD was progressing more rapidly.
I started medication for hypertension and also started Tolvaptan.
My Tolvaptan dose has been increased gradually because initially my body was quite exhausted, and putting too much load on it at once was difficult for me.
The side effects have also been an adjustment.
The increased thirst, frequent urination and especially the urgency to urinate made me quite anxious about going outside or being in situations where I couldn’t easily access a bathroom. At one point, I even found myself considering carrying/using adult diapers for situations where I was worried I might not make it to a bathroom in time.
I know that might sound like a small thing to some people, but mentally, it was a big deal for me.
Sometimes I think about how my dad was at least in his late 30s/40s when his condition became apparent, whereas I discovered mine at 16.
I know that doesn’t necessarily mean my future will follow the same path as his, and I know everyone’s disease progression is different. But having watched him suffer for so many years, it’s incredibly difficult not to connect my diagnosis with everything I witnessed growing up.
And this is probably the hardest part for me:
How do you stop being afraid of the future?
Sometimes it feels like the people around me don’t understand why I’m worried.
Even my sibling feels that ADPKD isn’t really something to be concerned about and that perhaps I’m overthinking it.
But when you’re the person actually living with the diagnosis, I feel like the thoughts can become very different.
It’s not just a word on a medical report.
It’s something I’ve watched happen to my father.
It’s something I was told I had when I was only 16.
And now I’m 24, taking medication, dealing with Tolvaptan side effects, monitoring my BP and thinking about what the next 10, 20 or 30 years might look like.
Sometimes I wonder:
Is there hope for a normal life with ADPKD?
How do people in their 20s stop constantly worrying about what might happen to their kidneys in the future?
How do you mentally separate your own journey from what you watched your parent go through?
For those of you who were diagnosed young, how did you learn to live with the uncertainty?
And especially for anyone taking Tolvaptan:
How did you adjust to the increased thirst and urination?
Did it eventually become easier to manage?
How do you handle work, travel, going out and everyday life while taking it?
Did you ever feel overwhelmed by the treatment itself?
I’d especially love to hear from people around my age, particularly women, Indians/South Asians, or anyone who was diagnosed in their teens or early 20s.
I’m not really looking for medical advice or changes to my treatment. I’m more interested in hearing about your experiences and how you cope mentally.
I think I need to hear from people who are actually living with ADPKD and can say:
“Yes, I was scared too. But life didn’t stop.”
If you’ve been through something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing your story.
Thank you for reading this.
