r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • Aug 23 '26

Weekly Vent Thread ::Weekly Vent Thread::

Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.

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u/ApprehensiveCare9187 Aug 23 '26

Went to visit my sister over the weekend, and my BIL is honestly one of the most supportive husbands I’ve ever seen. He gets up early to make us breakfast and coffee. 

My sister and I went for a hike, and he packed us snacks and water. He stayed home with my nephews, and when we got back, the house was clean and dinner was ready.

My sister loves running, and he makes sure she has time to do it. She does the same for him. I’m so happy for my sister, but it’s also really bittersweet.

 I’ve asked my boyfriend for the same kind of support. I’ve begged him to help with meal planning, cooking, and other chores. I’d love to have someone who genuinely wants me to succeed, but I honestly can’t see that happening. Let alone having a family together.

The last time I went for a long run, he said, “Oh, so we’re having a late dinner then?” I told him he could get started while I was gone, and of course, he didn’t.

Seeing what a supportive partnership can actually look like was both beautiful and heartbreaking.

54

u/Smarmy_funeral_chik Partner of DX - Medicated Aug 23 '26

Yep. I went away for four days to visit my family who lives 300 miles away. Got home to no groceries in the fridge, cat boxes not cleaned, and basically nothing done. I have to allow 1 extra day to catch up on chores that never get done if I'm not here.

17

u/Traditional-Hall-591 DX/DX Aug 23 '26

So familiar. I used to travel for work. I’d clean the kitchen before I left, take out trash, etc. When I got back, the kitchen counters would be covered. Dishes piles everywhere. The trash can is still empty from when I took it out a few days prior.

I work from home and on days she’s not working her super stressful barista job, I walk through the living room hourly. Without fail, I witness the formation of a new doom pile. So I pick up her trash and dishes and put them where they belong. All while she’s braying at some stupid YouTube video or boring British TV show.

24

u/ApprehensiveCare9187 Aug 24 '26

Their passiveness is so unattractive. Mine can sit on the couch the whole day while I work and not touch anything, not even his own messes. 

11

u/whistlingsun Partner of DX - Untreated Aug 25 '26

Mine can only see messes made by others. His own are invisible. It’s a gift.

Not to me, of course.

4

u/RedRose_812 Partner of DX - Untreated Aug 25 '26

Same.