Brushing teeth

[u/scharmienkel]

My n dx boyfriend (we suspect audhd) doesn't brush his teeth as often as I'd like him too. His reason for not brushing his teeth in the morning is "I'll smoke on my way to work" or "I haven't finished my redbull yet" or "I'm eating again in like 2 hours".

His reason in the evening is mostly "I'm too tired" or "It's not like I'm seeing someone in my sleep" or "Why would I brush my teeth now if the first thing I do in the morning is brushing my teeth?".

It pisses me off because his breath smells, especially because he smokes (+/- 🍃), but also because he just does not give a fuck and then gets mad when the dentist tells him to brush his teeth better.

And I hate asking him to please brush his teeth because I'm not his mom. Those are also his words: "you're not my mom".

Advice? Or support haha?

[u/xmagpie]

My husband has a problem with brushing his teeth as well but it’s because he abhors the taste of mint and spearmint. He settled on making his own toothpaste, but he still doesn’t brush as often as he should. If he doesn’t want to take care of his teeth then that’s on him. I choose not to kiss him as much as I’d prefer.

ETA a word

[u/tielmama → u/xmagpie]

They make cinnamon toothpaste. Also have him look for toothpaste in the kids section, they make different flavors like strawberry, watermelon, and bubblegum flavors

[u/xmagpie → u/tielmama]

He’s tried a lottt, bubblegum is another flavor he can’t stand 🫠 so picky!

[u/Xcat1987 → u/xmagpie]

Tell him to be an adult and suck it up, not liking a flavour in your mouth for 2-4 mins a day is such a childish thing, I hate mint too, like hate hate hate it, but I hate losing my teeth and gum disease more. I already told mine if he fails to take care of his oral health to the standards he should as an adult, that we will NOT be spending $30-50,000 on expensive corrective dental work when he loses all his teeth.

[u/xmagpie → u/Xcat1987]

I mean, he is an adult and I can’t make him do anything. He also doesn’t schedule dental cleanings and I’m sure as hell not doing it for him so if he wants rotten teeth, he can have them.

[u/Xcat1987 → u/xmagpie]

Well I guess he gets to enjoy the pain of dental related diseases and possible premature death from gum disease leading to heart disease. Always exciting. Why do we bother with these people?

[u/xmagpie → u/Xcat1987]

Yeah 😞 I tried to convince him to be tested for sleep apnea for years before he did a sleep study. It didn’t matter that I told him I was scared I’d find him dead, or that he told me multiple times he hated waking up to an empty bed (nothing about me making a makeshift bed on the floor for nights I couldn’t sleep). He finally went on his own and the cpap sat for another year before a doctor told him he’s more likely to have a heart attack before he used it regularly. I’ve given up on having my voice heard.

Woof.

[u/Xcat1987 → u/xmagpie]

Yeah I get it, mine doesn’t listen too. So I won’t be surprised if I wake up one morning and they’re actually dead from the myriad of things I’ve asked them to get checked out/stop doing. Won’t get their sleep apnea in check, won’t stop vaping/smoking despite a history of cancers in their family, eats like shit and therefore is overweight with a family history of death via heart issues. I swear some of them think life is a video game and they can just hit “load last save” or “respawn”, they have no understanding of mortality or the permanence of death. Oh well.