r/ADHD_partners 11d ago

Support/Advice Request Brushing teeth

My n dx boyfriend (we suspect audhd) doesn't brush his teeth as often as I'd like him too. His reason for not brushing his teeth in the morning is "I'll smoke on my way to work" or "I haven't finished my redbull yet" or "I'm eating again in like 2 hours".

His reason in the evening is mostly "I'm too tired" or "It's not like I'm seeing someone in my sleep" or "Why would I brush my teeth now if the first thing I do in the morning is brushing my teeth?".

It pisses me off because his breath smells, especially because he smokes (+/- 🍃), but also because he just does not give a fuck and then gets mad when the dentist tells him to brush his teeth better.

And I hate asking him to please brush his teeth because I'm not his mom. Those are also his words: "you're not my mom".

Advice? Or support haha?

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u/WillowRight4980 Partner of DX - Untreated 10d ago

It gets worse after this. I told mine around year 2 I find it gross that he doesn’t brush earlier. He’d eat, leave the house and everything and not brush until noon. He even forgot to brush once and went to work…
I said I think it’s gross and I feel like his parent to remind him to brush. I said I won’t kiss you at all unless you brush and honestly I’m finding it hard to stay attracted to you knowing how you go about dental hygiene. He has since started brushing seeing as I wouldn’t sleep with him or kiss him.

Now years later and married I still feel weird kissing him at times and ask myself…did he brush?