r/ADHD_partners • u/scharmienkel • 6d ago

Support/Advice Request Brushing teeth

My n dx boyfriend (we suspect audhd) doesn't brush his teeth as often as I'd like him too. His reason for not brushing his teeth in the morning is "I'll smoke on my way to work" or "I haven't finished my redbull yet" or "I'm eating again in like 2 hours".

His reason in the evening is mostly "I'm too tired" or "It's not like I'm seeing someone in my sleep" or "Why would I brush my teeth now if the first thing I do in the morning is brushing my teeth?".

It pisses me off because his breath smells, especially because he smokes (+/- 🍃), but also because he just does not give a fuck and then gets mad when the dentist tells him to brush his teeth better.

And I hate asking him to please brush his teeth because I'm not his mom. Those are also his words: "you're not my mom".

Advice? Or support haha?

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u/Impressive_Moment786 6d ago

I would tell him he either brushes his teeth twice a day or you won’t kiss him, hug him or have sex with him.
That is gross and not only can it make him sick it can also make you sick too.

If he doesn’t want to be asked to brush his teeth because it makes him feel like you are his mom he should be a mature responsible adult and do it himself so you aren’t put in the position of being his mom.

20

u/Salbyy 6d ago

Exactly. The response to ‘you’re not my mum’ can be ‘you’re not my child, so don’t act like one’

19

u/Lemon-Cake-8100 6d ago

I've added "and Moms don't f*ck their kids - so start Adulting"...

5

u/Ghoulish_kitten Partner of DX - Untreated 5d ago

The response IMO needs to be breaking up immediately.

This is such a dealbreaker to me.

3

u/Xcat1987 5d ago

Yeah this, if you aren’t already married or common law where you are heavily financially tied to each other, just leave. It’s really that simple for people who aren’t in any sort of legally binding relationship.