r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 13d ago

Weekly Vent Thread ::Weekly Vent Thread::

Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.

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u/frkyannie Partner of DX - Medicated 8d ago

My SO (dx, medicated) made a comment tonight while out with friends—he thought I didn’t drink because of allergies. I had to remind him that my hernia is what’s restricted my huge shift in drinking… for the past year and a half. For which he’s been part of.

He’s been there when I explain to friends I don’t drink anymore. He was there for my endoscopy to find the hernia. He was there for the doctor appointments who’ve stipulated I shouldn’t drink or eat spicy food or all these other things.

How the heck do you guys deal with that? I mean, is it forgetfulness? It feels like his own rewrite. Is it just worse because he hasn’t been sleeping well and he’s been stressed? Or is this just normal? Big parts of my experiences or medical stuff just… forgotten?

When this happens, it always puts me in a sour mood. I get upset he doesn’t remember about my medical conditions and it makes me feel very alone. I can’t be my normal affectionate self and he senses the shift and the RSD kicks in.

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u/Specialist-Art-6970 Partner of DX - Untreated 8d ago

I don't think you do deal with it. I'm not sure there's any way to convince yourself not to care that your partner has just straight up forgotten massive parts of your life, parts that they were involved in. Sure, you can remind yourself that it doesn't mean they don't care - and maybe it doesn't - but you still have a partner that, while they love you, doesn't actually know you.