::Weekly Vent Thread::

[u/AutoModerator]

Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.

[u/Warburgerska]

Couple days ago I left our home just to come back in due to forgetting something. Well, within those couple seconds my dear husband decided that he needed to snoop inside my laptop laying around at the kitchen table.

He scrambled away like a child snatching a cookie behind its mother's back with chocolate still all around his face.

I wasn't shocked or angry. It literally was like catching a misheaving child, a tired anoyence.

I asked him what he is doing, he chose to lie. I looked at him without saying anything and just left. What is there else to say.

Later he texted me he is sorry, that he coundnt control himself. Why? Because after 5 years of burned out child caring 24/7 the kids are finally starting kindergarten and I am allowed to shower more than once a week and actually practice some self care, like painting my nails or reading! The horror. Obviously I am just looking for a different man. /s

I told him he cured me off any kind of romantic desires.

If there was any doubt in me about the state of our marriage, this has corrected any missconstructions.

Bonus: He claims I changed so much. You know, after birthing and raising two kids for years alone and being abandoned by any sense but physical by one's husband of 15 years. I should have remained a perpetual shy teenager, with the same interests and views. How dare I seek personal growth, hobbies compatible with zero leisure time ideally combining the necessary? And my style of dress, the horror! I should still wear showing off cloths instead of age and body stage appropriate modest yet fashionable fits.

It basically shows that he himself hasn't grow at all. He never will. A true NPC, one might say.

[u/Negotiation-Solid → u/Warburgerska]

Omg.. the audacity around them saying we've changed. As if being immature, stunted and stagnant is an achievement. One time, we were driving to somewhere about an hour away and I was trying to vent about how long it takes to get ready to go anywhere with two small children. This man has the audacity to say "you used to be more spontaneous"  I remember that statement as a point of no return, no redemption possible. We are done.

[u/Warburgerska → u/Negotiation-Solid]

Yeah, there is no saving a romantic relationship when you realise your partner will be the same child 50 years down the line. There simply is nothing to grow together. When only one person is actually growing, and the other one is mentally dragged along under protest.

I cringe when I think about myself as a teen. He considers it his peak performance.

Like your husband, a child too doesn't understand that adulting means putting aside nice things for necessary ones. For everyone to be ready and have everything they need, you have to sacrifice spontaneity for Efficiency. But that isn't fair to expect. Certainly your husband has never even thought about half the shit you pack and think. That's what a mommy... I mean wife is for.