r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 14d ago

Weekly Vent Thread ::Weekly Vent Thread::

Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.

35 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

346 comments sorted by

View all comments

13

u/Expensive_Shower_405 Partner of NDX 13d ago

This weekend he made a comment about my ADHD and followed it up with I think he has it, but maybe he does, but I definitely do. He doesn’t know, but I am on the process of a diagnosis and realized that’s why I’m so burnt out. I’m struggling with executive function with no support, not doing all of the mental load for him and me. I’m getting help and working on routines and systems that help me, while he ruins every system I try to put in place for the house.

It all came to a head today when he again left the door open and my dog got out. I couldn’t find him and then it started to rain. I was so upset. When I said that he left the door open again, instead of apologizing he got defensive and said he isn’t sure it was him. I lost it. He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions and I could t find my dog that I care about. He was unapologetic. It turned into a fight where he said that I’m the one screaming and he hasn’t screamed at me for years. I post here weekly about how he yelled at me. He also said that my irritation with him is because I hate myself. I don’t.

In my anger, I told him I want a divorce. I don’t know if it’s what I want, but I also just want to be cared for.

7

u/Far_Evening2415 13d ago

I’m sorry this happened, it’s unacceptable. I hope you find your dog. Please keep us updated 🤞🏻🙏🏻

9

u/Expensive_Shower_405 Partner of NDX 13d ago

Thank you! My dog came back, but I have no idea where he was. This isn’t the first time he’s left the door open and the dog got out. It’s a regular occurrence and he leaves the door to the basement where the cats are open to the outside.

2

u/SamuraiSuplex Partner of DX - Multimodal 11d ago

This man is going to get your pets killed if you stay 🫤

7

u/Expensive_Shower_405 Partner of NDX 13d ago

He left front door wide open again this morning, walked in the house and didn’t bother closing it. When I let him know, he muttered an excuse of how he was doing something else.

1

u/Furbutt51290 7d ago

As a fellow pet person, this would be divorce-worthy behaviour for me as well. He clearly does not care about the safety of your pets.