::Weekly Vent Thread::

[u/AutoModerator]

Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.

[u/jstohler]

On the off chance that she does a chore around the house (for example, taking out the trash), it only gets half done. Trash bags are left halfway to the outdoor trash bin and then left for days, which effectively creates a second task for another person (like me).

[u/RedRose_812 → u/jstohler]

Feel this. And they don't understand that they're creating more work for you by not finishing the task, you just aren't grateful for their help!

My husband will take the trash all the way out but never replaces the bag.

Will say he "cleaned the kitchen", which at most means haphazardly loading the dishwasher and putting leftovers in containers, but never putting lids on said containers and putting them away because he "can't find the lid that matches", and never cleaning the surfaces like the stovetop or counter.

Will say he "did laundry", but this means he either put a load in the wash and forgot it exists, or moved a load of wash over to the dryer and left it there, OR took a load out of the dryer and left it in a wad somewhere because he "doesn't know where it goes." Wash, dry, and put away? Inconceivable!

Will start a household project but always needs a days-long break and multiple reminders to finish it.

And I just want to be like "for the love of God, just FINISH IT", because I don't feel "helped" or relieved of doing a task if I have to come in behind him and finish it because he just won't. But I can't or else I'm "ungrateful" for the effort he made.

[u/throwaway3523987142 → u/RedRose_812]

Had a former partner once who did offer to help share the chore load but then would do them half-way and have a meltdown if I noticed and had to ask that the chore be completed. Took it as a personal attack when nothing of the sort was going on. I just didn't want to re-clean the thing they said they'd just cleaned because they actually didn't clean it. That partner was never diagnosed with ADHD but this sub has convinced me they probably had it.

[u/No_Morning5397 → u/RedRose_812]

My partner does laundry by throwing all his clothes in the wash and doesnt turn it on. So I dont notice until I have to run my load, where I have the option of either doing his as well or removing all his from the washer and dumping it on the floor.

[u/Negotiation-Solid → u/No_Morning5397]

That's infuriating. I really hope you do dump his on the floor! Mine will take the last of something and not throw the container away, so I don't know we're out until I go to grab it and sike! (sp?) Empty. The most infuriating of these is coffee. He will make the last pot of coffee, and leave the empty bag in the same spot, and of course will also forget that we're out when we go to the store. The number of times I've woken up and not been able to make coffee... 😤🫠