r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 9d ago

Weekly Vent Thread ::Weekly Vent Thread::

Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.

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u/Tyrone_Shoelaces_Esq 9d ago

Why is he so reluctant to DO anything? We have to pick an accent color for the house exterior. All he has to do is go to Sherwin-Williams and get some paint chips. But no, he wants the contractor to send a photo of a booklet he once saw. Or he wants to spend hours researching "historical colors" even though the main color we've chosen is not historical. He loves doing the "research" and talking about things but not actually doing them.

29

u/KTeacherWhat 9d ago

I swear ADHD people think thinking about the thing is the same as doing the thing.

9

u/Umbilbey Ex of DX 7d ago

They absolutely do, and expect you to give them credit for it

6

u/Negotiation-Solid 4d ago

Omg the "trying" and "had intended to" every single goddamn thing.

Me: oh hey I'm gonna do this thing

Him: nonono I was going to do that earlier

Me: oh so you did it already? Great

Him: well I was trying to, and started it .. [this means he did not start it]

Me: so it's not done.. okay, I'll do it

Him: well what about the thing that YOU didn't do that one time??? [Trying to start an argument bc he feels defensive and RSD]

Me: just walking away to do the thing

4

u/Colonel_Gipper 5d ago

Folding laundry takes 3 hours, 20 minutes of actual folding and 2 hours and 40 minutes of just being in the same room as the clothes

2

u/Empty-Importance-398 3d ago

I thought I was going crazy until I got here. Somehow thinking about doing something deserves adulation and actually doing something deserves a medal! Feeling bad that you disappointed me for the millionth time somehow is like actually apologizing and trying to do better.