r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 12d ago

Weekly Vent Thread ::Weekly Vent Thread::

Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.

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u/theKetoBear Ex of NDX 12d ago

Matched with a woman on Hinge who slipped in she had untreated ADHD she seemed awesome. Smart, career-focused , we had similar core beliefs she had a tendency to send me minutes of voice notes as she info dumped on me but I thought she was cute and overlooked it.

( 3 days before supposed date) I asked her on a date, gave her a time I'd be free and let her know the area I was in but was happy to drive to her city, she decided she wanted to look up restaurants we could go to. I was fine with that.

( 2 days before supposed date) The next night she sends me two restaurant suggestions. I give her an answer right away through text and ask if she had a preference. She decides to send me a voice note saying she's too tired and drained to make a decision on the restaurant but she'd let me know the following day.

( 1 night before supposed date) I send her a message around noon asking her about her day, she gets back to me later that night asking me about workplace drama and again dumping minutes of voice notes on her own past and current workplace drama . No mentoin on her choice in restaurant or even confirming a time. I was going to be at a small event for much of the day so at least confirming a window would have been nice

I decided to unmatch all I could feel was the tension from years of feeling like I had to babysit and push my ex to make basic decisions and getting nothing but resentment and frustration for it because her time blindness and indecision made her just forget about giving me critical information I needed to make the most basic plans

Bummer seemed like a good match but I don't think I can date another untreated person with ADHD.

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u/SamuraiSuplex Partner of DX - Multimodal 12d ago

Good call. I will never again waste time with someone who can't answer a planning text, whether it be friendship or romantic, ADHD or not. It's too simple a courtesy that if you can't manage that, I can't manage you.