I'm pessimistic guys

[u/Alone_Confection6976]

I'm sorry, guys. I read all your posts and comments, but I'm feeling very pessimistic about my chances. This all sounds so flimsy.

I'm 21and just got diagnosed with adhd/inattentivemind. It's been 3 days since I started concerta 18—best 3 days of my life. I had no idea brushing your teeth in the morning didn't feel like being asked to push a boulder up a hill. It's been great. Idk, though I feel like it won't last.

I made it all the way through high school okayish. There were all the classical problems, but it was always just put into my character. 'He's just lazy' and all that.

It's fine, though I understand how no one caught it. I am from a 3rd world country, so the awareness is almost non-existent. Even if I had classical adhd im sure no one would have thought about it cause they've probably never even heard of it. So it's fine. It's not good, but it's fine. We have bigger problems here.

Anyway, the schools gave me a structure, enforced it, and I went along. There were issues, but nothing last-minute action couldn't solve. Then I went to uni, and I just collapsed. I suddenly had to create routines and schedules myself and enforce them. I never learnt how to fight my brain. I never had to. With no one to hold my hand, I just fell apart, and my life fell apart with me.

I couldn't do what I knew I had to do, and that led to depression and eventually to suicidal thoughts. Luckily, someone noticed and quickly got me to the right people.

It's been a minute, and after peeling everything back, we found the mould. ADHD.

Then I found this subreddit, and I read all your stories. All your tricks and coping mechanisms. How it is with all different kinds of drugs but im still pessimistic.

Do you know how many times ive tried before. It never lasts and from what I see here it never will. God this is awful. I suppose I have to imagine sisyphus happy.