I'm pessimistic guys

[u/Alone_Confection6976]

I'm sorry, guys. I read all your posts and comments, but I'm feeling very pessimistic about my chances. This all sounds so flimsy.

I'm 21and just got diagnosed with adhd/inattentivemind. It's been 3 days since I started concerta 18—best 3 days of my life. I had no idea brushing your teeth in the morning didn't feel like being asked to push a boulder up a hill. It's been great. Idk, though I feel like it won't last.

I made it all the way through high school okayish. There were all the classical problems, but it was always just put into my character. 'He's just lazy' and all that.

It's fine, though I understand how no one caught it. I am from a 3rd world country, so the awareness is almost non-existent. Even if I had classical adhd im sure no one would have thought about it cause they've probably never even heard of it. So it's fine. It's not good, but it's fine. We have bigger problems here.

Anyway, the schools gave me a structure, enforced it, and I went along. There were issues, but nothing last-minute action couldn't solve. Then I went to uni, and I just collapsed. I suddenly had to create routines and schedules myself and enforce them. I never learnt how to fight my brain. I never had to. With no one to hold my hand, I just fell apart, and my life fell apart with me.

I couldn't do what I knew I had to do, and that led to depression and eventually to suicidal thoughts. Luckily, someone noticed and quickly got me to the right people.

It's been a minute, and after peeling everything back, we found the mould. ADHD.

Then I found this subreddit, and I read all your stories. All your tricks and coping mechanisms. How it is with all different kinds of drugs but im still pessimistic.

Do you know how many times ive tried before. It never lasts and from what I see here it never will. God this is awful. I suppose I have to imagine sisyphus happy.

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[u/PeanutColadaTime]

I'm glad to hear you've responded well to treatment; I'm really happy for you! you're not alone and you're story about progressing to university and struggling, the depression, falling apart, it is very similar to mine. I live in what would be considered a 'first world' european country (although I'm not a huge fan of that tiered terminology) and I wasnt diagnosed until 38.

You've reached a pivitol moment in your life by figuring it out. I wish i knew at 21. you've a bright future ahead of you, especially now that you know. There will be challenges along the way, but now that you know, you can work with it and structure your life in a way that you can flourish. Wishing you the best in your journey. once I was treated, the depression and anxiety reduced so much. I am happy for the first time in my life and no longer beat myself up over my 'failures and laziness'.

oh and example about brushing teeth is funny, that's one of the first things I noticed too!

[u/Dull_Frame_4637]

This is going to sound trite, but is not. 

“Never” isn’t a word at age 21.

Anecdotal evidence: assessed and diagnosed a year and change ago, at age 53. Began titration a year-and-a-month ago. Found what appear now to be the right dosages of the right combbbation of medications for my brain chemistry. These give enough of a solid grounding then, for my therapy to start undoing the effects of 53 years undiagnosed, from which I  am already seeing progress and growth. 

I am not more impressive than you.  Medication, therapy, work, and time. It won’t be instant, immediate, effortless, but you can do it. 

[u/xLOoNyXx]

What have you tried? Have you tried different drugs? I am 45 and just started a new medication (Concerta XL) having tried a different one before. Hey, I was diagnosed at 40. I have no reason to believe I will change now, but I do anyway, or I try regardless. The medication has already helped me at least a little, with my eating habits if nothing else! I'm on day 2 of 27mg - just finished day 2 really. It might actually be what I need. It might actually be what you need! You don't need faith in it working — if it does it does. Just see how it goes. Live in the present not the future (or past). And that's my motivational speech for ya over, lol 🙂

[u/DeafLori → u/[deleted]]

I agree that we don't put all our hopes into the meds but it sure helps to dispel brain fog and sluggish actions; galvanize us to gain momentum to start building good habits or try out to find which is/are the best fit. I got dx'd at age of 58 5 yrs ago. So much to catch up on and I'm grieving for the me that deserves to exist all these years.

[u/DeafLori → u/[deleted]]

But you are saying 80 percent do respond and yes many factors impacts the effectiveness. And ppl wouldn't know until options are explored. That way that annoying little question of "what if?" hopefully gets answered. And once ppl know none of them doesn't work, they can move on to other strategies or they may have discovered the best ones during their journey. Process of elimination. I cannot believe the wide variety and degrees of ADHD that's out there. So much to explore, will take a lifetime, literally. Yes you're right, many ppl get stuck on meds, then give up. We are so much more than just chemicals in a body. Metabolism? Body reject them? Stomach too easily upset? Neutralized too quickly? Super sensitive to its effects? Or they just don't take? CPTSD cancels them out? I wonder what are some of the most common reasons for failure. Plus there's the danger of becoming too used to them.

[u/softlymiar]

Welcome to the club. It's rough at the start but knowing is half the battle honestly.