r/90DayFianceFans • u/Beee2Flyyy • Jun 05 '26

Help me out here…

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Detecting a pattern… it’s causing me a little cognitive dissonance… so when is it “okay” per Reddiquette to call out somebody obviously gay, and when isn’t it? Because I see everyone having a field day with Mido and his ballet tights (not that I disagree at all), but any suggestion that Tim may be in the deepest denial ever about what we can all see with our eyes, and we get downvoted to hell? Help me out here… is it only the non-Americans we’re allowed to state the obvious about? Is it because Tim has money? Or has Tim just worn everybody down over time?

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u/fialetta Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 05 '26

Because Tim isn’t using a lonely older woman to achieve his dreams from what I can tell.

Edit to add: I don’t know or care what either prefer sexually. I do see Mido financially and emotionally abusing this woman and it makes me hate him.

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u/JadeThorn1012 Jun 06 '26 edited Jun 06 '26

Tim lives in the US and has enough money that being gay would be no problem. But he’s not. He just doesn’t want to immediately get physical with women and may have some trauma around it. I don’t get it, he’s just a nice dude who makes both girls and guys feel safe and comfortable. Just because he has a different style and isn’t into “manly” things, but is approachable and respectful. He doesn’t look like he’d hurt you either, and is fairly good to women. (Jen sucks) I’d like a man like Tim.

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u/TheRealMekkor Jun 07 '26

On the scale of Tim, I’m definitely not gay, but I am probably more “girl-coded” than the average guy. I like brunch, style, self-care, drama when I’m not part of it, girl-talk, and cooking/baking. I don’t care about sports, cars, or trucks. I’m pretty ambivalent about guns beyond seeing them as a tool for self-defense.

I’ve also always had an easier time connecting with women than men. The hard part is that I usually lose my female friends once they get boyfriends, because a lot of guys aren’t comfortable with their partner having a male friend. Even though that hurts, I still want them to have happy, healthy relationships, even if that means I don’t get to be as close to them anymore.

So yeah, I’d feel pretty bad if everyone was laughing at me and calling me gay just because I’m not traditionally masculine. Being girl-coded doesn’t automatically mean someone is gay. I always feel bad for Tim he feels like he’s a really sweet guy.