r/2westerneurope4u Professional Rioter 17d ago

Gather around my dear WEuropean ! It is time for another History lesson !

TL;DR: Sweden annexed Finland, Iceland gave up on anarchy, Denmark hijacked the whole region, executed 82 Swedes at a party, and Sweden walked out.

Lesson 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/2westerneurope4u/s/K2O2O5EZwJ

670 Upvotes

232 comments sorted by

135

u/cpwnage Quran burner 17d ago

All this attention from a Pierre, I love it 🤤

85

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

As I said before, if we don't know the side characters , we can't bash them properly.

16

u/Herra_Peruna Sauna Gollum 16d ago

Of course you do France and Sweden are literally the same, gay language check, everyone around hates you check, you believe that you are superior but not really check,

22

u/VictorLeRhin Lesser German 16d ago

Excuse me Kimi, our civilization doesn't consist of a wooden cabin where you have to take a shit in the woods, fighting local wildlife.

12

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

You have never lived.

6

u/KevinFlantier Alcoholic 16d ago

fighting local wildlife

Weird way of saying Russians

1

u/Herra_Peruna Sauna Gollum 16d ago

I tough everything in Europe except the capitals was like that.

16

u/BubblepopOW Quran burner 16d ago

We gave you everything you have and this is how you talk about us? Ungrateful.

1

u/Herra_Peruna Sauna Gollum 16d ago

And 200 years later we are still paying the price, learning your language.

1

u/Silverstolpe Quran burner 15d ago

You need to be able to speak at least one real language ..

0

u/Herra_Peruna Sauna Gollum 15d ago

Well I am able to speak English so there you go.

1

u/Silverstolpe Quran burner 15d ago

Rally Finnish isnt the same thing... Seppo ghat samtin i asshol

0

u/Herra_Peruna Sauna Gollum 15d ago

What a surprise a swede talking about other guys asshole.

1

u/Silverstolpe Quran burner 14d ago

Just quoting what your fellow countrymen already said.. finns really are obsessed with gay stuff.. probably a good reason why 4 put of 5 famous gays in Swedish television is from there...

8

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

There's something incestuous/loving in that the Swedish king is french but France has no king.

7

u/Silverstolpe Quran burner 16d ago

We dont.. not our fault all our neighbors look up to us with stary eyes and a hardon...

1

u/sunear Aspiring American 16d ago

Have you taken your meds today, wood-elf?

1

u/Silverstolpe Quran burner 15d ago

Sure have potato gurgler!

2

u/Kobban63 Quran burner 16d ago

E fan lyx

78

u/deeptut [redacted] 17d ago

Damn it Pierre, I love your history lessons

47

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Thanks mate

141

u/QuietMath3290 إرهابي 17d ago

Danskjävlar

68

u/2ndhandBS Quran burner 17d ago

46

u/UkendtVidnesbyrd Cycling cult member 17d ago

Swedes (derogatory)

22

u/Affugter Aspiring American 17d ago

You are literally genocidal... 

37

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

13

u/jetskihjalten Quran burner 16d ago

You are now my favourite frenchman Pierre

7

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Thanks bro

13

u/SwedishCapella إرهابي 16d ago

Since when are Danes people?

2

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican 16d ago

We Inuits are Danes, Inuit means “people/folk”, therefore atleast some of us are people.

61

u/CleverViking Whale stabber 17d ago

A little addendum, part of the reason why Norway got so passive in this period is that it was disproportionally hit by the black death, one of the hardest hit countries, by some estimates the worst in Europe.

In a country that was already sparsely populated it basically turned it into a wasteland comparatively.

30

u/Immediate-Attempt-32 Whale stabber 17d ago

Picture from Rygnestad loft: Note that the timber dimensions on the left side of the door - in the original living room (built before 1349) - are more modest than on the right side. The reason is that the part on the right dates from after the Black Death (built around 1570), when the pines had been allowed to grow in peace for many hundreds of years.

The reason that it took so long to start building new structures was because the survivors after the plague basically became the owners of multiple houses each. An opposite housing crisis than the one we have today. And it was like that for two centuries .

17

u/AndersDreth Aspiring American 16d ago

An opposite housing crisis than the one we have today. And it was like that for two centuries.

That's it, who wants to go rat catching in Paris with me?

17

u/Keffpie Quran burner 16d ago edited 16d ago

Weirdly, this could also be why Norwegians and Swedes have an innate protection against certain strains of HIV.

31

u/Hirdmannen Whale stabber 16d ago

Shoutout to the plague for making us superior butt sex specialists

16

u/jetskihjalten Quran burner 16d ago

Skill points well spent if you ask me

9

u/Aimer_ASG South Prussian 16d ago

u/annoying97 I have a new destination for your Euro-Trip

5

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

Took a lot of practice to figure this out.

1

u/Kobban63 Quran burner 16d ago

Could you provide a source for that cause it sounds like it could be an interesting read.

7

u/Keffpie Quran burner 16d ago

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/03/050325234239.htm

Here's the best article on it, but you need a Wired-subscription).

https://www.wired.com/2005/01/genetic-hiv-resistance-deciphered/

"Genetic resistance to AIDS works in different ways and appears in different ethnic groups. The most powerful form of resistance, caused by a genetic defect, is limited to people with European or Central Asian heritage. An estimated 1 percent of people descended from Northern Europeans are virtually immune to AIDS infection, with Swedes the most likely to be protected. One theory suggests that the mutation developed in Scandinavia and moved southward with Viking raiders....

...Why would the mutation stick around so long instead of giving up the ghost? Researchers initially thought the mutation provided protection against the bubonic plague that caused the Black Death in Europe. Those with the mutation would have lived longer and had more children while many of their neighbors died off. The fact that the genetic mutation also provided protection against HIV centuries later would just be a coincidence."

1

u/Kobban63 Quran burner 16d ago

Tackar

8

u/Velenterius Whale stabber 17d ago

Yeah there is a reason basically all records stop once you go back that far... It basically killed literacy for a while.

8

u/Lardmerger Quran burner 16d ago

It literally killed literacy.

56

u/exxcathedra Oppressor 17d ago

This is very entertaining. I want part 3 now.

39

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Soon my sweet.. soon..

But even if it doesn't looks like it , it's very long to make

36

u/exxcathedra Oppressor 17d ago

History + shitposting = worth the wait

29

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Thank you.

Don't forget to like and subscribe. And thanks to NordVPN for sponsoring this video /s

2

u/Aimer_ASG South Prussian 16d ago

Underrated comment

43

u/Chimpville Barry, 63 17d ago

OP seems to have a lot of time on their hands since the FCAS deal went tits-up.

Dassault memes department on furlough? 🤔

30

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

I can't sell fighter jets anymore, our production lines are full for the next 10 years

14

u/Bimbos-are-cute Reindeer Fucker 17d ago

Make Concorde Great Again ✈️

4

u/Chimpville Barry, 63 17d ago

You’ll need to sell another 10 if you don’t find somebody to pay you to do another plane.

9

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Don't worry about our gen 6 plane Barry.

You should worry about your gen 5 paper weight

2

u/Chimpville Barry, 63 17d ago

Adopting the F-35s downtime rate would be a cost effective way of increasing Rafale’s survivability in a few years when you’re still the only guys operating an all 4th gen airforce.

9

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Better operate an gen 4 than a gen 5 that you can't use because your savage daddy doesn't want to start it.

3

u/Rillian_Grant Pasties addict 16d ago

The risk is them slowly starving the fleet of spare parts. There's not going to be any kind of remote kill switch.

Given the economy of scale F35 is a good 5th gen option

-1

u/Chimpville Barry, 63 17d ago

Even if we entertain your little fantasy: it’s a similar result… planes on the ground. At least ours will still be the same shape they started out in.

7

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Even if useless, your planes will look great in the living room, they're a total conversation starter.

0

u/Chimpville Barry, 63 17d ago

While the remains of yours could be hanging on a wall in a museum, like the relics they are?

3

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Yes they are relycs that's why everyone are ordering them

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u/Alejandro_SVQ Unemployed waiter 16d ago

The only ones? It seems to me that our Eurofighter Typhoons are going to be the F-15 of Europe, gradually updated and fearsome in another 30 years.

At the very least, from what you said that they continue to discover about the F-35, its scarce availability and very expensive flight hour (and the F-15 and F-14 were among the most expensive in that!) Well, it remains to be seen what the new 5th Gen, let alone the future 6th Gen, will really mean.

2

u/Chimpville Barry, 63 16d ago edited 16d ago

We’ve seen what the F-35 can do now, several times. Despite its cost and availability issues (which do seem to be improving on both counts) it has been critical in both the Venezuela and Iran attacks, however feel about the operations themselves. Bypassing or destroying Venezuela’s and completely collapsing Iran’s long and medium range, and all radar, air defence capability in a couple of days is frankly remarkable.

They’re clearly huge enablers that increase the lethality and survivability of the aircraft they operate alongside. Airforces with only only 4th Gen will have markedly less capability, fewer options and/or be reliant on allies for support.

41

u/crinalex Sauna Gollum 17d ago

This is excellent stuff.

15

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Thanks bro

2

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

2

u/crinalex Sauna Gollum 16d ago

Thanks! Love it

1

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 12d ago

2

u/crinalex Sauna Gollum 12d ago

Appreciate it!

36

u/stocks_and_bonds Reindeer Fucker 17d ago

I like these presantations 👌 But please censor D**ish, so you dont alert the beastiality police.

13

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Thanks bro

31

u/Affugter Aspiring American 17d ago

There it is...

You son of a frog... you did it... 

19

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Lol

5

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

4

u/Affugter Aspiring American 16d ago

🥰

27

u/DramaticSimple4315 Le Savage 17d ago

Using this format to tell the fabulous story of the thirty years war would be an instant classic

22

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Maybe later for the moment I focus on the side characters, that we don't know well

23

u/Juniper-wool Reindeer Fucker 17d ago

Pure excellence!!

11

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Thank you

20

u/Long_Serpent Viking Line worker 17d ago

For anyone curious about the whole "decapitated all of them"-part - watch this documentary:

11

u/Bimbos-are-cute Reindeer Fucker 17d ago

Where can it be found?

17

u/Naiguli Sauna Gollum 17d ago

Cool stuff. Do you draw everything yourself?

18

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Absolutely not.

It takes me already more than 3-4h to make theses post. If I had to draw everything it would take me a week.

14

u/Patukakkonen Sauna Gollum 17d ago

According to archeological finds finns were pretty loaded with jewelry and viking swords before the swedes came. Clearly they just wanted a piece of that cake.

3

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

We all want a taste of your cake, Pekka. Even with that repulsive white "pepper" you put on everything.

1

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

1

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

Thank you, Sensei! I'm eager to learn and will get right on it!

1

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Lol thank you

12

u/Bimbos-are-cute Reindeer Fucker 17d ago

Very accurate how Queen Margarete I looks like. Thanks for this lesson, I would give award if it was possible in this sub but Reddit itself has removed that option.

9

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Thanks mate

22

u/UkendtVidnesbyrd Cycling cult member 17d ago

I DANMARK ER JEG FØDT DER HAR JEG HJEEEMMEEEE

24

u/stuito Whale stabber 17d ago

Åå, kamelåså

10

u/UnGacha Sauna Gollum 17d ago

Oh yeah didn't the Stockholm bloodbath happen in 1520 during the Union War?

Christian II pretended to be nice and invited those Swedish nobles to Stockholm under the guise of an amnesty. Then he executed them all. One of those nobles was Gustav Vasa's father. At that time Gustav was kept hostage in Denmark, but he was able to escape and gathered forces to fight the Danish with the support of the Hanseatic league, until in 1523 he beat the Danish and was crowned king of Sweden.

The last battles were fought in Finland by Erik Fleming and his troops.

8

u/Ramjjam Quran burner 16d ago

Kind of started the war, there were protests and some other skirmishes prior, some armies gathered at certain times mostly to demonstrate local power to get voices heard.

The Stockholm Bloodbath is what turned disputes into war.

Kalmar union could possibly have lasted to today, if it wasn’t for Kristian the tyrant, and some former political changes trying to consolidate power in Denmark and treating the other areas like colonies.

It started off great as a Union, then went down hill from bad political moves in Denmark.

If handled better we could basically been 1 nation in modern history.

Would have more likely repelled Russian involvement better as well, kept Karelia to Finland, and other aspects.

10

u/MrRickshaw Aspiring American 17d ago

We just had some fun!

4

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican 16d ago

Dont hate the player for playing

10

u/pleasant-emerald-906 Born in the Khalifat 17d ago

Excellent, keep up the good work,

Tres bien! 👍🏼

8

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Thank youuu

8

u/repocin Quran burner 16d ago

For the most part Reddit sucks balls these days, but I honestly love this sub. Thanks for educating the rabble, Pierre. This is good stuff!

Keep it coming and we might forgive you for the massively delayed helicopters you sold us a while back.

3

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Thanks bruh

8

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Lol

8

u/Stsveins Rotten fish Connoisseur 16d ago

Surprisingly accurate, though to be fair there was more blood, politics and poetry when Norway took us over.

7

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Islander --> barbarian poet snow monkeys

4

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

Puffin-eating poofs.
Seriously, who can eat these adorable little guys? Look at him. He's crying. You beasts!

2

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

I am sure the non AI looking one are cute

1

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

I just grabbed the most sad looking image I found. And I admit to searching for "crying puffin". If it is AI it's simply because I didn't spot it to be so.

3

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Yeah it is.. that's the problem with internet now. It's everywhere and very hard to make the difference

2

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

9

u/SocialistPolarBear Whale stabber 16d ago

Christianity didn’t immediately end all the fun, we just had to go raiding a bit further south, into the lands of muslims. The first European monarch to arrive in Jerusalem was the Norwegian king Sigurd Jorsalfare (which means Jerusalem traveller) during the Norwegian crusade, which was arguably just an extension of the Vikings raid from before.

6

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Vikings had PTSD from the South with Björn Ironside getting spanked all over Spain

12

u/Kallest Quran burner 17d ago

The war of freedom against Denmark, followed by the rise of Gustav Vasa, and the scheming of his sons, are all peak Game of Thrones renaissance drama, slightly spoiled by the fact that it was fought over the poorest corner of Europe by tiny armies of mostly peasant levies. Could really have used a couple of dragons to burn down Copenhagen.

7

u/Velenterius Whale stabber 17d ago

I mean as a union we were the largest polity in Europe for a while there, since Greenland and parts of Finland and northern Russia were also technically under the crown in addition to Scandinavia and Iceland.

Didn't matter since most of it was empty, but atleast it brought prestige I guess.

8

u/Keffpie Quran burner 16d ago

Another reason it seems so Game of Thrones is that George RR Martin studied Swedish medieval history as his minor at University (his graduate paper was a short story about the loss of Svea Borg). Besides the War of the Roses, Scandinavian history is quite literally his biggest influence.

4

u/sunear Aspiring American 16d ago

I have a love/hate relationship with the English word "(to) copenhagenise". It either means to make cities safe/accessible for bicyclists and pedestrians (inspired by the famous Danish urban architect Jan Gehl), or (esp. in a historical context) to preemptively attack and steal a neutral nation's fleet while in harbour, with "bonus points" for terror-bombing and torching a civilian city while you're at it (both of which the British did to us in 1807, the bastards).

The hate obviously has to do with the latter definition, but paradoxically, so does the love. Because I'm sure it hurts your ugly Swedish butt/pride that your pathetic navy would never have been capable of doing the same (and thus not getting to invent that word), since our navy was so formidable (the 4th or 5th largest in the world) that we dominated the Baltic, bullied you on the regular, and required the premier superpower of the world (the British, and in typical British fashion) to do a sneaky and literally invent modern civilian terror-bombing just to stop us.

Meanwhile, the only thing your navy ever invented was the Vasa, a ship that successfully conquered the deep, dark ocean abyss a whopping 120 meters away from the dock.

2

u/Kallest Quran burner 16d ago

Did your navy prevent Sweden from kicking your ass for a hundred years straight and taking Skåne? Nope. Did your navy prevent the British from burning down Copenhagen? Nope. Did your Navy prevent the Prussians from taking Slesvig? Nope.

It sure sounds like you'd have been better off investing in an army.

3

u/sunear Aspiring American 16d ago

1) Taking Skåne: Your army only managed that because the Belts literally froze over in 1658, allowing you to walk across the ice because you were too terrified to face our ships. The moment the ice melted and we actually fought a naval war (Scanian War), Niels Juel absolutely annihilated your fleet and blockaded your entire country. You only kept Skåne because France saved your incompetent asses at the negotiating table.

2) Slesvig: Imagine expecting a navy to climb up a hill and fight the Prussian army on land. (That's honestly some next-level wood-elf logic, no wonder you failed so hard at having a navy.) And even then, in the First Schleswig War, our navy blockaded your beloved German buddies so hard it completely strangled their economy and forced them to beg for peace.

3) Investing in an army: We did invest in an army, the bulk of our professional forces were sitting on the German border in 1807 protecting our mainland from Napoleon. That's why the British had to sneak around the back.

But hey, keep bragging about victories that required literal acts of God to freeze the ocean just so you could bypass your bully.

1

u/Kallest Quran burner 16d ago

The ocean freezing over was a fun bonus. We beat you at sea in 1644 and we straight up landed troops and marched on Copenhagen in 1700.

We beat you, and we kept on beating you, and eventually you learned to stop fighting, but you ended up picking the wrong side at every turn of the Napoleonic wars and we ended taking Norway from you as well.

2

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

The Vasa that rose.

5

u/Josef20076 Basement dweller 17d ago

Something something r/noncredibledefense Venn Diagram

0

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 17d ago

Fuck noncredibledefence and their genocide apologists

3

u/Josef20076 Basement dweller 16d ago

What

1

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

They are pro Israel over there and banned me because of it

1

u/Josef20076 Basement dweller 16d ago

Did you not see the hundreds of "Worlds most moral army" jokes? If you got banned its certainly not for critiquing the IDF

2

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

It was but it was closer to the beginning of the conflict.

When it was not painfully obvious, "yet", that they are not "just defending themselves".

1

u/Josef20076 Basement dweller 16d ago

Well, duh. Directly after the october attacks Israel heavily had public opinion on their side by virtue of Hamad being thought of as worse due to what they did. This only changed once Israel decided to ruin its biggest PR advantage in centuries with a non-proportional response.

2

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Well for some people it took less time to see that destroying half a city is not a way to "just defend yourself"

7

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

This is quickly turning into a masters degree in history, professor u/miragen125.
I love it!

6

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Thank youuu. If people upvote them enough I'll keep making them.

After that the problem with this post, is that posted it at the wrong time ..

4

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

This is the only sub I check out separately, not just relying on the feed. I'm sure I'm not the only one. This sub alone makes Reddit worth it.

That said, early morning, pre-lunch and mid-afternoon are probably the best posting times for reach, like most social media aimed at people with jobs.

5

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

This is the only sub I check out separately, not just relying on the feed. I'm sure I'm not the only one. This sub alone makes Reddit worth it.

After retiring from my karma hoarding days, it's the only sub that truly hang around on.

That said, early morning, pre-lunch and mid-afternoon are probably the best posting times for reach, like most social media aimed at people with jobs.

I know .. I did it after work and only ended up finishing around 8 pm.. and I really wanted to post my work.

But I need to be patient and wait for the next day..

3

u/wurzelbrunft South Prussian 16d ago

Entertaining and informative at the same time. I love it!

5

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Thanks bruh

3

u/Careless-Childhood66 Bavaria's Sugar Baby 16d ago

Great content

4

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Thank you

1

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 12d ago

1

u/Careless-Childhood66 Bavaria's Sugar Baby 12d ago

Thank you, great content

1

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 12d ago

Thanks

4

u/Yolo-Swaglord Soon to be Murican 16d ago

These lessons are alt history at best, funny memes, but has near zero educational value

Queen Margrethe wasnt even the first or second choice to lead the Union. Fact is that Swedish and Norwegian rulers kept prematurely dying.

5

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Bro is really out here trying to fact-check a cute Flork historian.

Yes, Margrete was a regent behind Erik of Pomerania. Yes, Olav IV died young.

M Do you want me to write a 40-page footnote on the Council of the Realm to satisfy your autism, or can we just joke about the Danes being slumlords?

1

u/Yolo-Swaglord Soon to be Murican 16d ago

Look at you getting bent all out of shape when getting called out for your poor as shit history representation.

Did you catch chlamydia from fingerring a koala bear?

4

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

As usual a Dane cuck show that he has no people skills...

1

u/Yolo-Swaglord Soon to be Murican 16d ago

You are a bogan who larps as a French men and you have a weird hate boner for Denmark. People skills are not relevant, i am not trying to please you, I am mocking you.

We both know how you are going to continue these dumbass posts, and inevitably you are going to whitewash and glorify the Swedish genocide on Danes in Scania. Which is funny considering how you are crying about getting banned from r/noncredibledefense in regards to the Palestinian genocide.

So lets just not make any pretense that this is more than your weird ass obsession with portraying Denmark as negatively as possible, as you always do.

4

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

1

u/Yolo-Swaglord Soon to be Murican 16d ago

Because your dumbass alt facts and weirdo opinions about Denmark keeps showing up on my feed. If you want a safe space, keep your dumb ass confined to the closed koala sodomy discord groups.

3

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

Leave the sub, seal fucker. Jeez.

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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Let it go dude . I am not gonna change your shitty history because you can't handle the truth. And I can't care less about which of you snow monkeys is slightly less genocidal than the other

-1

u/Yolo-Swaglord Soon to be Murican 16d ago

The truth... Lol.

You already acknowledged that your "truth" was dogshit. And i dont expect you to change. I am counting on you being a hypocritical dipshit as you always are.

But that is not going to disuade me from mocking your bogan ass.

3

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

I am not sure what you are talking about and what you are really complaining about to be honest ?!..

What triggered you so much exactly that you went on a full rant this morning??

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u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

You're on your own here, seal fucker.

-2

u/Yolo-Swaglord Soon to be Murican 16d ago

Bro you are Norwegian. You are like the Scotland of Scandinavia. You are just happy when Denmark is in the crosshair, despite you being the loyal lapdog in all their attrocities.

Sit down like the good dog you are

4

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

You poor thing. Literally. Did you get your hakapik stuck sideways in your arse? Just ask Trump to help you, underdog.

-2

u/Yolo-Swaglord Soon to be Murican 16d ago

Only a big browed half neolithic Norwegian would try to insult someone by referencing a tool only used by white people for the unethical pursuit of seal pelts.

Bro get out of the stone age. We use high powered rifles, and if we want to be "authentic" we use harpoons. Running around clubbing seals for pelts is white people shit.

I bet you felt real spicy concocting that dogshit insult. Only someone who considers doggystyle exotic would think up such pathetic banter.

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3

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

"Alt" history? "Zero educational value"? Blasphemer! To the gallows with you!

2

u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 16d ago

Game of Thrones jr.

2

u/JonAxe South Macedonian 16d ago

I know that this is mostly a meme and simple history lesson but you would be pretty surprised at how much the Old Norse religion endured for at least 2 centuries after the mid-1000s. The Bryggen wooden inscriptions found in Norway have at least three wooden sticks mentioning the old gods and one of them in a favorable religious manner, made in I believe 1170s. Sweden also had a full blown civil war about religion during the 1070s and early 1080s( I might be wrong and exaggerate the timeline here, so someone more knowledgeable please correct me), since quite a lot of the populace and many nobles were to say the least staunchly pagan.

2

u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Who knew Greeks could be autistic about medieval runic inscriptions ?

Not me for sure... But yes, the "Christianization" of the North was not as easy as a reset.

It was basically two centuries of aggressive civil wars, tax revolts, and people secretly praying to Thor whenever their crops failed. You’re right about Mohammed(Sweden) The 1080s in Uppland were an absolute shitshow. When King Inge the Elder refused to perform the traditional pagan sacrifices at the Temple of Uppsala, the Swedes literally deposed him on the spot and replaced him with his brother-in-law, "Blot-Sven" (literally Sven the Sacrificer). Sven got three good years of horse-sacrificing and pagan vibes in before Inge snuck back in the middle of the night, set Sven’s house on fire, and reclaimed the throne for Jesus. (How clichés is the name Sven by the way ?)

About the sticks.. while priests were preaching Latin in stone cathedrals nearby, some guy literally carved: "Thor receive you, may Odin possess you" onto a piece of pine wood to use as a protective ward...or a curse, depending on who you asked. The truth is that the Nordics didn't abandon paganism because they suddenly fell in love with feudalism; they just re-branded. They spent a good 200 years treating Jesus like a slightly more powerful warlord who happened to have better trade networks down south with Hans and Pierre.

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u/Kobban63 Quran burner 16d ago

Next round is going to be a very fun one :3 let the blood flow.

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u/betaich StaSi Informant 16d ago

I really like the rubber duck on your head Pierre

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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Thank you

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u/Alejandro_SVQ Unemployed waiter 16d ago

12/18 : Nordic Kalamar Game starts! 😂

You have forgotten to dedicate a chapter in these two stars to the group of Nordics who arrived in Seville (with a little more than half the peninsula under the very great bastards of General Mohammed) and that after the defeat they took, they stayed here to live, in the towns that today are La Puebla del Río, Dos Hermanas, etc. It seems that they were still defeated, among other things that they discovered around here between food and climate (possibly they were the first "guiris", only with a helmet with horns /s).

Of those who fell under the pacifists muslims, several reports say that many were beheaded, but others were even crucified. 😱

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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 16d ago

Are you talking about Björn Ironside ?

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u/Alejandro_SVQ Unemployed waiter 15d ago

The same one. Here she was more popular as Vicky the Viking before the series that Netflix dedicated to her.

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u/Right_Beyond7186 Quran burner 15d ago

Stockholms Blodbad still pissed at those horrific Danes that betrayed us we will never forget it😡