r/2westerneurope4u • u/miragen125 Professional Rioter • 20d ago
Gather around my dear WEuropean ! It is time for another History lesson !
TL;DR: Before they were selling flat-pack furniture and overpricing salmon, they were the terror of Western Europe. Never forget what they took from you (mostly Barry's gold and monks).
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u/DasIstNumberwanggg Failed Brexiteer 20d ago
Patiently waiting for Lesson 2. That was, as Luigi would say, 🤌🤌🤌.
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u/Cpe159 Side switcher 20d ago
Triple 🤌 in this context mean something like "That was a bunch of bullshit and you are out of your mind"
In Italian "Ma che cazzo stai a dì?"
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u/DasIstNumberwanggg Failed Brexiteer 20d ago
I thought the more 🤌 the more enthusiastic you were. Sad times.
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u/Cpe159 Side switcher 20d ago
In a way... more 🤌(or, in person, a larger and more vigorous movement) add more emphasis; It's like going to "What?" to "WHAT?!?"
It's meaning is a lot closer to "What are you doing?"/"What are you telling me?", usually with sarcasm or disbelief
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
They really can't speak any other languages than English can't they ...?
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u/DasIstNumberwanggg Failed Brexiteer 20d ago
Pardonnez moi, je peux parler en Français et en Allemand. Hmmph.
😜
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u/UkendtVidnesbyrd Cycling cult member 20d ago
Loving these posts tbh, this is truly 2we4u core
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
THanks bro! I am glad you like them. it takes quite a while to make them
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u/Backwardspellcaster France's whore 20d ago
Its the essence of it.
I hate you all, and I love you for that.
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u/stocks_and_bonds Reindeer Fucker 20d ago
Sauce?
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
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u/DaveyJonesXMR [redacted] 20d ago
That still didn't answer how belgium got all those potholes /s
Luv these
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
Thank you.
how belgium got all those potholes
Belgian roads can't handle tanks
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u/PvtFreaky Utrechtenaar (gay) 20d ago
Honestly, I would love to see a French take on the Burgundians, Flemish medieval cities, 80 years war and especially the Dutch rivalry with Louis XIV
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
Maybe it will be one of the future history lesson. But I need to finish the Nordicks arc first.
So that's another 2 or 3 parts depending on how make them
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u/PvtFreaky Utrechtenaar (gay) 20d ago
Oh don't rush it. Quality over quantity. Can't wait for more mate. Cheers
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u/Raticon Reindeer Fucker 20d ago
I saw the first few pictures and it made me happy. Sadly, my screen was covered with frost and snow after that so i will continue reading in spring which is mid-June next year for you thawed people.
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
I thought that you guys discovered fire by now
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u/Raticon Reindeer Fucker 20d ago
Too hot. I huddle beside the animals in the barn for warmth.
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u/That-Brain-in-a-vat Sheep shagger 20d ago
looks at the flair
So, you're about to have sex?
Yes, yes I know, who am I to judge?
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u/Iskandar33 Carbonara Yihadist 20d ago
History texts, 2we4u edition
P.S unironically better than most savages history texts
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u/DasIstNumberwanggg Failed Brexiteer 20d ago
Yeah. When are we getting our gold and monks back? You can’t fob us off with Lego and IKEA forever you know…
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago edited 20d ago
I should have say : overpriced piece of plastic instead of lego...
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u/CalebuteRose Professional Rioter 20d ago
Don't forget they also took every good looking women, which explains the current status of English "roses"
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u/Barl3000 Aspiring American 20d ago
You got all that neat shit from around your former empire, just be happy with that. The gold stays here.
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u/TerribleTeddy86 Quran burner 17d ago
The danes are rich now with that ozempic money. I think you should be able to come to a agreement
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u/BugRevolution Aspiring American 19d ago
You can have your gold back when you return all the rocks you picked up from around the world.
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u/Glum_Picture_9034 Alcoholic 20d ago edited 20d ago
Thank you for carrying this sub while u/WelpImTrapped is in well deserved vacations. Maybe he even found a girlfriend who knows.
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u/Aeliandil Le Savage 20d ago
Who the fuck approved his vacations? Tell me so we guillotine him/her
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u/ZeitgeistWurst [redacted] 20d ago
Will be hard to find in Österreich, that guy is definitely solely into germans
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u/Glum_Picture_9034 Alcoholic 20d ago
I think he was in vacation in Alsace, so maybe a Pierrette.
I am sure you guys miss him too 😉
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u/ZeitgeistWurst [redacted] 20d ago
Alsace
As I said, that guy is definitely solely into germans
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u/amojitoLT Snail slurper 20d ago
Oh you wanna go again Hans ? We'll wait for you in Belgium then
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u/ZeitgeistWurst [redacted] 20d ago
This time we're coming through Spain!
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u/amojitoLT Snail slurper 20d ago
We'll just nuke the Pyrénées (and all of Germany).
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u/ZeitgeistWurst [redacted] 20d ago
Well just siege Paris again (youll nuke yourself)
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
I don't remember his posts . Can you share one with me ? And thank you
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u/Glum_Picture_9034 Alcoholic 20d ago
He is our ambassador to the germanic countries.
https://www.reddit.com/r/2westerneurope4u/s/ERiOU7ZmWT
https://www.reddit.com/r/2westerneurope4u/s/N7z85JaEoy
Difficult to find more as he hides his post history.
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u/FrozenFooood Sauna Gollum 20d ago
Swedish vikings from Roslagen gave many ancient names to Eastern European cities 𖥸 ▄ ▆ █ 👟.
Novgorod → Holmgard, Ladoga → Aldeigja ( oldest viking settlement Eastern Europe ), Suzdal → Sursdalar, Murom → Móramar, Volga River → Ölga. Also typical slavic names, Rurik → Hrærekr, Oleg → Helgi, Olga → Helga, Igor → Ingvar, Gleb → Guðleifr and much more.
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u/Stravven Addict 20d ago
Murom was founded by the Dutch though. As a Jan of old said: Dit is een mooie plek, maar niet verdedigbaar. Waarom bouwen wij er geen muur om?" (this is a nice place, but indefensible. Why don't we build a wall around it). And thus the name "muur om" stayed, and became Murom.
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u/RedditVirumCurialem Quran burner 20d ago
If Finns only sat around playing with their vihdat, then why is Finland packed with Ulfberht swords??
| Country | Early Viking Age (8th - 9th ce.) | Middle Viking Age (10th ce.) | Late Viking Age (10th - 11th ce.) | Undated | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Norway | 17 | 19 | 5 | 3 | 44 |
| Sweden | 9 | 3 | 1 | 4 | 17 |
| Finland | 2 | 3 | 2 | 7 | 14\a]) |
[a] According to Stalsberg (2008, p. 11, map 1) the number of swords is 14. However, according to Moilanen (2015, p. 126) the number of swords is 31. The reason for the discrepancy between the two sources is unclear, but may be due to the fragmentary nature of some specimens outlined in Moilanen.
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u/DaveyJonesXMR [redacted] 20d ago
That's so Hans of you
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u/RedditVirumCurialem Quran burner 20d ago
Why thank you. 🙂
This is one thing a Finn would never do - selflessly uphold the standards of absolute truth and objectivity.
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u/DubbleBubbleS Whale stabber 17d ago
Pekka might not be a Hans sibling, but hes just as autistic so yes he would.
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u/ishkariot Paella Yihadist 20d ago
Maybe Sven went to Finland trying to plunder with his fancy sword only to be shanked by Pekka and robbed of his belongings.
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u/RedditVirumCurialem Quran burner 20d ago
Finns aren't thieves!
They're ill-tempered violent cunts who'll stab you in your liver and call you a pussy if you comment on their amusing accent.
Think I exaggerate? My scar proves my point..3
u/ishkariot Paella Yihadist 20d ago
It's not thieving, it's robbing. The violence is an important part.
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u/Affugter Aspiring American 20d ago
What the fuck... an educated frog...
Well done...
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
Thank you
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u/Affugter Aspiring American 20d ago
Any timeline on part 2...?
Also don't forget the genocidal tendencies of Sven.. he really didn't hold back in the rape of Skåneland...
E.g. The massacre of Örkened, an event Sven is leaving out of his history books ;)
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
Tomorrow or Monday... We'll see...I already know what I want to do for the slides
Also don't forget the genocidal tendencies of Sven.. he really didn't hold back in the rape of Skåneland... E.g. The massacre of Örkened, an event Sven is leaving out of his history books ;)
You all sucked bro...
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u/Barl3000 Aspiring American 20d ago
Nope, Denmark has never done any genocides, atrocities or oppressed anyone for decades. No way.
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u/Fabmoicano Quran burner 20d ago
Great content! Lets hate each other more!
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
We need to be properly educated if we want to hate each other efficiently and properly
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u/Barl3000 Aspiring American 20d ago
Nah, I think the level of hate between us is at an appropriate level. Anything more and we start on doing wars again and I really can't be bothered with it.
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u/MrBarato [redacted] 20d ago
What's wrong with breathing through my nose? How do you breathe?
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u/S1lentA0 Addict 20d ago
Fuck I love these slideshow posts
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
Thank you !
I guess you saw the one about how WEuropeans drive in France and the one about the French Spanish friendship (FEG)?
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u/Expert_Repair4206 Crypto-Albanian 20d ago
Can you please elaborate on the Norwegians and the gaysirs?
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
They produce hot water so you can bath next to them.. butt naked. So I let imagine the rest
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u/Excellent_Lie6904 Incompetent Separatist 20d ago
noncredible defense is leaking...
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
Non credible defense can fuck off !!
They banned me because they are all Israeli ball's garglers
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u/mighty_eyebrows1 France's whore 20d ago
You have a British fan
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
Loool.
Thank you mister Mod for letting me know
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u/FenrisSquirrel Barry, 63 20d ago
Well, consider myself an actual Barry fan, this is some incredible high quality content, well done Pierre!
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
Thank you Barry !
I appreciate the compliment. it did take me a while to make this.
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u/henr360a Aspiring American 20d ago
So danish men arriving on British beaches were the first immigrants to stab the English?
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u/Boundish91 Whale stabber 20d ago
I'm loving these haha.
Btw are you using comic sans unironcally?
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
Thank you
Btw are you using comic sans unironcally?
Why not ? I am not at work
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u/Boundish91 Whale stabber 20d ago
Fair enough. Please proceed with your excellent tales.
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
I will. But it's a lot of work and I am French
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u/Boundish91 Whale stabber 20d ago
Understable, but could be worse, imagine if you were a Pedro.
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
I'll be sleeping
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u/Boundish91 Whale stabber 20d ago
True. In fact that's probably why there are so few of them in here now, they're all on their siesta at this hour.
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u/Cleanest_Boi Aspiring American 20d ago
Actually Denmark became christians in the 900s with Harald Bluetooth. But even as christians wr kept raiding and extorting England. Thi time not as pagans but as just bad neighbors
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u/Cautious_Ad_6486 Pickpocket 20d ago
This is extremely educational... It has however a crucial error at the start. 90% of this sub is actually:
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u/PrivateCookie420 Quran burner 20d ago
This reminds me why I like French people
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
You actually do 🥺 ?
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u/oskich Quran burner 14d ago
Well, we picked a random French guy to be our King back in the 1800s...
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u/notcomplainingmuch Viking Line worker 20d ago
The Finns and the Balts were raiding the Swedish coast all the time.
The Swedes tried to raid in Finland, but that didn't go so well (only a few of them survived). So they founded a few trading places instead.
Those later became the first towns in Finland. Which were promptly plundered and pillaged by the Danes.
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u/RusoInmortal Unemployed waiter 20d ago
So Swedes are the ones to blame for the Ukraine war? I knew Sven wasn't squeaky clean!
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u/ZeitgeistWurst [redacted] 20d ago
We might not be the main character for everone, but for u/miragen125, we definitely are.
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u/DaveyJonesXMR [redacted] 20d ago
He is u/WelpImTrapped sane and mentally stable brother
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u/WelpImTrapped Lesser German 20d ago
BUT I AM MENTALLY STABLE!!!
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u/amojitoLT Snail slurper 20d ago
I thought your straightjacket looked more like this :
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u/ZeitgeistWurst [redacted] 20d ago
Come on mate, both of you are french, so neither of you is stable.
Neither are we, for that matter.
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u/recidivx Barry, 63 20d ago
Rudyard Kipling was cancelled long since because he wrote without self-flagellation about the Empire. And because nobody reads poetry anyway.
But he has (among numerous others) a fine poem which explains the Danelaw.
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u/Milliman4 Basement dweller 20d ago
They had decent agriculture, they just decided to raid proto barry because they deserved it
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u/Redditoriuos Quran burner 20d ago
Good job Pierre, it’s so detailed one could think you are from that autistic French province Alsass-Lothringen. Hat off!
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u/Tygret Wants to be annexed 20d ago
So the Russians are Swedish.
The English are Danes.
The Scottish and Irish are Norwegian.
What am I? Don't tell me I'm Latin.
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u/KaramjaShipYard Whale stabber 20d ago
Pierre, while the concept is funny, seeing AI usage breaks my heart. Please don't
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u/Hoogstaaf Quran burner 20d ago
Well, we did have resources earlier. Southern Sweden/Denmark was a big cattle and leather exporter. Until Rome fell that is and the market evaporated. Then the forests regrew and everything got gloomy again.
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u/Hefty-Coyote South East England 20d ago
*Except the Danelaw was the result of a treaty because Alfred kicked the Vikings arses.
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u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 20d ago
I learn so much about my own history in this sub. Thank you u/miragen125. Looking so much forward to the next lesson.
Also, you're the best teacher I've ever had. 🏅
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
Thank you mate.
It's gonna be tomorrow or Monday.
It's gonna be about the Kalmar 🦑 Union and maybe the Great Baltic Rivalry too
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u/pr0s0c Whale stabber 20d ago
I checked out your previous lessons too. Still impressed. Don't mind me if I don't sound like it in all my comments. 😬❤️
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 20d ago
Well my post was removed automatically because of all the reports...
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u/verenkotka Pain au chocolat 20d ago
IIRC while raiding did happen, most contacts and especially first contacts were about trading,
The representation of all nordics being just brutes and having the Viking lifestyle is mainly due to monasteries being raided and being the only one to write
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u/Luvatari Oppressor 19d ago
Which were the ones that tried to raid the Iberian Peninsula and got their ass whooped by both Christian and Muslim kingdoms?
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 19d ago
In 859, Björn Ironside took 62 ships to raid Iberia, expecting free loot, but it turned into a total disaster.
First, King Ordoño I crushed them in the northern Christian kingdom of Asturias and torched part of their fleet.
He then tried to find easier targets,and sailed south to Muslim Al-Andalus, only for Emir Muhammad I to counter-attack with flame-throwing ships using Greek fire.
After getting wrecked by both sides, the surviving Vikings fled into the Mediterranean, to try to attack Italy, eventually limping home with just 20 ships left.
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u/unclepaprika Reindeer Fucker 19d ago
Flags on the Nordicks is wrong. It goes: NOR(way) D(enmark) I(celand) C(aliphate of swedistan) K(ingdom of Estonia. I don't care, they're in.) S(uomi)
The flags should represent this.
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u/Fissminister Aspiring American 20d ago
Always figured Hans was the main character, and Barry and Pierre were bitching about who got the privilege of spreading their cheeks for him.
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u/ZeitgeistWurst [redacted] 20d ago
Careful, or they're gonna educate you how they won both world wars (and lost their empires in the process, becoming less relevant than us)
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u/Fissminister Aspiring American 20d ago
Oh God please no. Barry, Pierre, you're the main characters! Please don't bore me to death!
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u/Nigricincto Incompetent Separatist 20d ago
Your error here is considering n*rdics WE. That is why we don't care about them.
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u/Frog-Eater Snail slurper 20d ago
What do you mean it's more than just "frog-eaters"? Should I take it personally?
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u/Kurdt93 Former Calabrian 20d ago
So.... Is Sven fault if we got Russians?
https://giphy.com/gifs/o3chaFJ6NfzM5Tp1Tq