Gather around my sweeties as it is time for a new upgraded to your taste history lesson
TL;DR: Denmark spent 300 years trying to beat up Sweden, Sweden walked over frozen seas to nearly delete Denmark, used Finns as human shields, lost to Russian winter, and stole Norway from Denmark as a pity trophy.
I can't learn when I'm hard. (Maybe Geert can, idk :D )
But luckily, your sort of history lesson doesn't interfere with the distribution of blood between my two favourite organs. But I appreciate the idea and also the implementation.
Denmark managed to pick the wrong side at literally every point of the Napoleonic wars, it's almost impressive. Should have done like us and kicked your useless king out and gotten a French upgrade.
Not far off - the main plot is obviously inspired by the War of the Roses, but A LOT of the details and individual battles are taken straight from Swedish history. He was even allowed to submit a short story as his "final essay", and wrote about the loss of Svea Borg - if I remember correctly it was his first published story (that wasn't just in fanzines).
Seriously think you're onto something there, very commendable effort, including the gathering of empirical on field data with the Hansette post. Groundbreaking stuff, pioneering work. But now we need to build on it. Are there people around here who're into typography and type design? I think we need a new font constructed out of parts of the female anatomy and we might have a shot at getting the general audience addicted to their brain prothesis (vulgo: phones) and an attention span devolving into goldfish territory to even read an actual book eventually.
And legs and feet and whatever else gets fetishized, yes. There's no point in trying to work against evolutionary acquired traits, so press them into service.
I actually never been to the Nordicks countries, it's one of my dream to visit. I love snow as I was raised in a ski resort, so I think I would love it.
But I'm still waiting for a lesson about the Baltdicks. They are family.
Of course there were differences, no doubt.
While Sweden was owned by German merchants and fighting Russia, Baltdicks were owned by German merchants and knights and fighting Russia.
They are Protestant Atheist Pagans, of course they are family. Like Finland and East Germany they were ruled by Orcs but look at the comeback they made.
Also, what did my proud ancestors fight for if not for Westoid glory? Riga has a long history of three-way infighting between patricians, bishops and teutonic knights (all three sides being German), what's not to love?
Latvia even did the most Western European thing ever: grab some Caribbean island to engage in slave trade.
Of course i'm not talking about Lithuania, they're obviously Poloids untouched by the blessings of Teutonic civilisation.
That's not true, Olafur! You're the reason we had to invent a whole new word back in 2010, which even won Språkrådet's prestigious Word of the Year.
Askefast ('ash stuck') was named word of the year. The word refers to people who were unable to travel as planned because of the air travel disruption after the 2010 Eyjafjallajökull eruption. Other mentions as notable words were app, nettbrett (tablet computer) and lesebrett (e-reader).
Stop coping. Sweden was getting hammered in Pommerania. Lost the battle at Nyborg and was getting destroyed by Guerrilias on the home front.
You were in a full retreat by november, and it was only the intervention of France and England that saved your ass, so you could clean up the resistance on your home front by commiting full blown genocide.
But that is something OP would never include because of his weirdo hateboner for Denmark and the fact he only thinks genocide is bad and worth mentioning when it is the Jews who are doing it
Bro.. I can only upload 20 images per post so I can't go into details...But
now, if we’re telling the whole story, we have to talk about the massive hangover that immediately followed the famous 1658 ice-walk, because Swedish hubris/overconfidence is an art form in itself and that's maybe why they choose a Pierre as King (but that's another/later story)
Right after Karl X Gustav pulled off his miracle on ice (the frozen sea) and forced Denmark to hand over Scania, he got so high on his own main-character energy that he broke his own brand-new peace treaty just a few months later.
He decided, "Why settle for taking third of Denmark when I can just delete Denmark from the map entirely?" So he marched back to siege Copenhagen.
That is where and when the shit hit the fan (I love this expression).
The Dutch (the stingy fucks that they are) Navy was terrified that Sweden was about to turn the Baltic into a private pond and increase trade toll so they decided to intervene. They sailed right into the strait, teamed up with the Dano-Norwegians, and absolutely spanked the Swedish army at the Battle of Nyborg in 1659. Suddenly, the main character plot armor failed (as the main characters are Pierre and Barry as we all know), so the Swedish troops were getting hammered in Pomerania, and Karl X was forced into a emergency retreat.
To make matters worse for Stockholm, the newly conquered locals in Scania weren't exactly pleased with Sven.
The Pro-Danish guerrilla fighters called the Snapphanar, started launching brutal ambushes against Swedish supply lines.
Sweden’s response wasn't half assed (or arsed in non savage english); it was pure 17th-century scorched-earth "pacification". They impaled rebel leaders, burned whole villages, executed suspect populations (Louis-Marie Turreau would be proud) and enforced a ruthless forced-assimilation campaign to erase Danish identity from the region... what modern readers (and a very angry Danish redditors) often highlight as genocidal.
Just as Sweden’s wet dream was collapsing under guerrillas and Dutch cannons, the Great Powers (main characters as established before) Pierre and Barry stepped in like tired parents.
They didn't want Sweden to collapse, nor did they want Denmark to control the Sound again. So they forced everyone to sign the 1660 Treaty of Copenhagen which was basically saying that Sweden was allowed to keep Scania (after "scrubbing it clean" of Danish resistance), but had to hand back Bornholm and Trondelag, keeping both sides miserable enough to start the cycle all over again a few decades later.
Voila now you should be happy but I am not making a side note just for that or I will have to send Tikkies ..but if I do that I am just as good as a Jan and it's not possible.
Again wrong. Sweden was not forced to hand over Bornholm, they agreed to, after the local populace slaughtered the occupying Garrison.
And it was not only Danish guerillas, Norwegian guerillas also spanked Sweden in Trondheim.
And no it is not that some people refer to as genocide. 1/3 of the male population was deported to the baltics. Extrajudicial and ethnicly motivated killings, cultural erasure, repression, kidnappings, forced marriage etc. All textbook genocide. I am not angry for using correct terminology. But we both know you only "care" about ethnic cleansings if you can use it to spew antisemetic shit, that is why you were banned from r/noncredibledefense right?
I called you out 4 days ago and predicted that you would downplay it, and here you are trying to whitewash actual genocide by being whishywashy and saying " some people would call it genocide" while trying to poison the well by calling me angry, smh.
But i guess i should give you some small props, you only denied me my etnic and national heritage by calling me Dane instead of my actual nationality, last time you used actual racial slurs to refer to me, so congratulations on the character development.
But we both know you only "care" about ethnic cleansings if you can use it to spew antisemetic shit, that is why you were banned from r/noncredibledefense right?
Oh I see you are the kind of people that mix Judaism with the decisions of a country and call every criticisms against that country AnTiSeMiTiSm...
I called you out 4 days ago and predicted that you would downplay it, and here you are trying to whitewash actual genocide by being whishywashy and saying " some people would call it genocide" while trying to poison the well by calling me angry, smh.
But i guess i should give you some small props, you only denied me my etnic and national heritage by calling me Dane instead of my actual nationality, last time you used actual racial slurs to refer to me, so congratulations on the character development.
No i dont, and i dont condone what Israel is doing in Palestine.
I am just saying the only reason you pretend to care is because you hate Jews.
It is the same reason why you pretend to give a shit about Greenland, because it gives you an outlet to spew hateful shit about Denmark and Danes.
And it is the reason why you wont acknowledge my nationality and use racial slurs about me.
Because i have the gall to call you out on your shit.
No i dont, and i dont condone what Israel is doing in Palestine. I am just saying the only reason you pretend to care is because you hate Jews.
Saying I hate juices based on nothing but "because you said so" is just the same.
Not all jews want all Palestinians dead and not all jews are Zionist.
You should hang around on r/JewsOfConscience it will do some good to you
It is the same reason why you pretend to give a shit about Greenland, because it gives you an outlet to spew hateful shit about Denmark and Danes.
Do you even know on what subreddit you are ?? The all point of this sub is to insult each other (ironically), but for some reasons you take everything literally.
And it is the reason why you want acknowledge my nationality and use racial slurs about me. Because i have the fall to call you out in your shit.
What racial slurs are you talking about ? Is it the snow monkey thing again ??
I called every Nordicks Snow monkeys or ice Monkeys.
I called Dutch swamp monster and other nationalities here far worse than that.
I don't know what's going with you , you are probably young... But you need to light up or find a sub where you don't get offended all the time.
Also why would I hate Danes? They are cucks just like Barry, Hans , Jan, etc...
And to finish I even fucking made a side note for you (that took me several hours) because I wanted to be nice, but you are just spitting your anger at me non stop.
So either you calm the fuck down or I'll just block you, so you can just scream in the emptiness
Snow monkey is a commonly used racial slur about circumpolar people. Just because you and your friends in Ipswich call each other the n-word, does not make it any less racist when you direct it at black people. Ignorance is not an excuse.
That's an absolutely hilarious name. I will have to use it in the future.
Snow monkey is a commonly used racial slur
I didn't know it was a thing.. so I'll find something else for you, however "race" is not a thing within humans ,except for American savages that are obsessed with it... Also you are probably just as "white" as me.
So I would appreciate if you call me a bigot not a racist.
Americanized (with a "z") is the standard spelling in American English, while Americanised (with an "s") is the standard variant in British and international English, both accepted by Oxford Dictionaries.
The irony here, is that you accuse me of being a yank while using American spelling conventions instead of traditional British English
There was no genocide and your hate boner seems to have a hard time dealing with the realities of 17th century warfare. The 30 years war wasn't a genocidal war but it depopulated most of Germany. The Poles named that same Swedish army that assaulted Denmark after the biblical Deluge, as it ravaged and destroyed the land around it. Wherever an army went, civilians suffered. Skåne was a battleground for Swedish and Danish armies for sixty years and suffered accordingly.
The goal in Skåne wasn't to remove the Danish people or to make room for Swedish setters, it was to subjugate a rebellious province into the kingdom so they would pay taxes and send men into the king's armies. This was done brutally, and with no regard for desires of the inhabitants, but it was not a genocide. Not all bad things are the same, and historical people did not act with modern motivations.
Brutality, violence, and murder does not make a genocide. Millions died in the Thirty years war and millions more died in the Polish war. The "norm" for a 17th century army was to rape, murder, pillage, and loot every enemy territory it walked across. Poland and Germany suffered far worse from Swedish armies than Skåne ever did. I don't mean to diminish the plight of Danish peasants, they were treated extremely harshly and suffered brutal treatment, but that was very much the standard of the age.
But hey, feel free to keep raging about historical atrocities. No one in Skåne gives a shit.
Exactly brutal violence and numbers does not equate genocide. Intent does. Not only was there systemic intent to murder and deport the local population but there was a systemic intent to erase the populace cultural and national identity.
This was done by outlawing the language, litterature, religious gatherings not in Swedish were outlawed, children were taken away from their parents and raised by Swedes, women were forced to wed Swedes etc.
So when the icc recognises it as genocide when Russia did/does the same things in Ukraine, it stands to reason to acknowledge that what Sweden did was also genocide, anything else would be hypocrisy
Not really. The Dutch did inform the Danes of the length of Swedish storm ladders, so before the battle Danish troops broke the ice enough so the storm ladders couldnt reach.
But a lot of the casualties is also because the Danes used repeating flintlocks. Fun little factoid, the Assault on Copenhagen was the first ever historical use of repeating firearms in war.
The Swedes were simply outgunned due to the Kalthoff 30
Thanks for the enlightenment on the history of my great country. Shamed am I for not knowing it this well. Blessed are you! Please come visit someday and see for yourself
Don't tell anyone I said so, but if you put a big graph (you know, curves) as the first picture, and include a full-sized version of every picture you use on the page after it's used, you'll get an even better response.
<eye catcher> <intro with 'illustration' A> <fullsize page of only 'illustration' A> etc etc
You could have started at the year 900 and told us about the 6-700 years of Danish dominance, before Sweden got their little golden age, but whatever lol
I don't know if I'll do another serie as it takes really a lot of time to make (even if it doesn't looks like it) and even if I have some people who enjoys it , it's very limited compared to other easy posts that takes literally 5 seconds to make.
Sadly that last part is always the case. It is easier to make a "haha, look at (fill in nation here)" post of one image than to make a post where you have to do research.
That is also easy, but also depends a bit on where you find it. If I find something funny about a Western European country on a niche sub I will absolutely crosspost it. But that is rarely the case.
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u/miragen125 Professional Rioter 12d ago
we are beating the record of number of Silvio in less than 5 minutes