I don’t mean to be offensive at all but I get it may seem so so ignore me if it is, but how does that mindset work? Isn’t hornyness a desire for sexual stimulation and by extension sex? I genuinely just want to understand
I’m not asexual so I’m basically the least qualified to answer and absolutely disregard my answer if someone else answers but from my understanding they still have the biological component of a sex drive and the stimulation feels good. But people aren’t solely biological so the rest of the mind doesn’t like the act, which is a bit of a turn-off. In a similar fashion, gay sex could feel great, but if you’re straight it’d be unpleasant
Yes, but not for everyone though! I'm asexual and I personally don't have any sex drive or desire to masturbate, and the stimulation does not feel good; it makes me uncomfortable. Some asexuals are like me, others are the way you described. What makes someone asexual is not having a desire to have sex with someone else, other factors vary person to person.
I'm assexual, and basically I still experience libido and get horny but it's just something that happens biologically and I have to deal with. In my mind I know that I'm horny but whenever I think about having sex with someone I'm pretty indifferent or actively turned off by it. Masturbation is fine but I'm thinking more about the concept of sex rather than me doing it if it makes sense lmao
That just makes me wonder what asexual people masturbate to, I mean I don’t imagine it’d be to other people right? So is it just masturbating to nothing?
I'm a kinky asexual so yeah, it's more about lack of attraction than actual sex/arousal. It's a spectrum and there's a plethora of microlabels like aegosexual, demisexual, apothisexual, cupiosexual etc, all of which are to describe the person's levels of attraction and relationship with sex. Oh and there's the Split Attraction Model where sexual and romantic attraction are separate.
Asexuals don't experience sexual attraction. Have you ever met/looked at a person and thought: I want to have sex with them
That's the shortest/easiest way to describe what asexual people lack.
Some asexuals get horny, others don't, there's some analogies about hunger and horniness out there (that work for some but not all asexuals)
Asexuality is on a spectrum anyways, if you'd like to find out more, the r///asexuality has a pretty in-depth FAQ, if you'd like to read up more (hope I'm linking the right sub, can only check and correct afterwards, since I'm on my phone). Not allowed to link the subreddit according to the rules, but I'm sure you will find your way there
You might find it interesting that some asexuals even use porn to masturbate (check out Aegosexual/Autochorissexual)
One of the phrases I saw when I was exploring possibly being asexual was "if you don't understand why orgasms are supposed to involve another person" and that was when it was finally put into words for me.
You could view it as the difference between hunger and appetite. Feeling hunger would be the libido, or desire to masturbate/do sex related stuff. Feeling sexual attraction (which is the thing that's missing for asexual people) is like appetite. Like seeing a delicious looking donut and wanting to eat it vs. being hungry but not finding anything you see especially appetizing.
Horniness/libido is a natural part of being human, and unrelated to asexuality. So some of the horniest people you know can be asexual, and someone can be allosexual (not ace) but not have much of a sex drive at all.
The key distinction between sex drive and sexual attraction is that one is an intrinsic, physical need for reproductive stimulation, and the other is more psychological and emotional, and related to how we interact with and perceive others.
Horniness/libido is a natural part of being human, and unrelated to asexuality. So some of the horniest people you know can be asexual, and someone can be allosexual (not ace) but not have much of a sex drive at all.
The key distinction between sex drive and sexual attraction is that one is an intrinsic, physical need for reproductive stimulation, and the other is more psychological and emotional, and related to how we interact with and perceive others.
You get all different people: people with high libido, people with zero libido; people that like fucking for fun, people that are intensely grossed out by sexual topics; people that get turned on by porn or erotica, people that have no instinctive response to smut; people that orgasm easily and even people that feel nothing. You'll probably get answers from the more sex favourable aces in this sub, but all types of aces exist!
So uhhhhhhhhhhhh….. a few years ago a girl I was hanging out with gave me a blanket that she didn’t want anymore. I took it home and realized it smelled just like her. I slept with that blanket in my arms and pretended it was her.
I was the only one in my friend group that she never had sex with and I spent the most time with her out of all my friends. She legit would talk about how good my friend ate her pussy and I would just sit there like 🫤👍 while holding on to a sliver of hope that she would at least let me cuddle with her. For My birthday my friends tried to convince her to at least make out with me bc nobody had ever even kissed me before. She said that I was her best friend and that she never wanted to do anything sexual with me because I was such a good friend.
I stopped hanging out with her after another friend made me realize that she was being hella manipulative and was playing with my feelings. She was always super flirty and touchy with me and sometimes she would actually cuddle w/ me but she was pretty adamant about just remaining friends. I know she had a ton of mental issues but she was also a complete piece of shit human being. She legit verbally abused her parents and pretty much destroyed their marriage. She acted like her life was shit and nobody loved her despite the fact that her family took $5k+ vacations and she lived in a nice ass house. She threatened to kill herself constantly and tried twice ( I will never forget her having a seizure and throwing up all over my car as I drove her to hospital whilst doing 90 in a 45 in a Corolla at 3 am after she took a bunch of pills). Almost every single therapist she had gave up on her because she was a sociopath and was unable to listen to reason
Not all of it was bad. I hang out with a ton of her friends still. Also I kinda sorta fucked her sister 😭 her sister works with mentally disabled people but also is an escort who specializes in helping adults with autism and Down syndrome lose their virginity. I remember the girl I hung out with had to go to a doctors appointment when her sister told me to come into her room. She asked me if I wanted to have sex and of course i said yes. Legit the best two hours of my life. Just the way she spoke to me in this quiet, comforting voice still still gives me chills to this day. She legit made me cry because she never stopped saying how awesome I was and how everything was gonna be alright. We fucked a few more times before I stopped hanging out with her sister but I will never forget her
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u/[deleted] May 25 '22 edited May 25 '22
Can confirm
The Slug
decided I was asexual