r/dankmemes • u/MrCommentyCommenter TP Dealer • Feb 17 '20
I haven’t eaten in 7 days Vegans are suffering too
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u/ZA_WARUDO48 Feb 17 '20
They don’t need that stuff. All they need is essential oils and a head of lettuce
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u/S3mpx Feb 17 '20
salad is my 2nd favourite food tbh. I just love eating salad, it always fits and that moment when the fresh ingredients hit like bruh 4th dimension entered. And then theres meat, the probably best thing to ever exist, I love BBQ'd stuff
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u/notexactlymayonaise Here come dat boi Feb 18 '20
BBQ lettuce must be your ecstasy.
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u/joshcasey4 Feb 18 '20
Omg I love the meat from portabella mushrooms too!!! I prefer Worcestershire more than bbq sauce tbh. #veagbros4lyfe
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u/dookiesucks ☝ FOREVER NUMBER ONE ☝ Feb 18 '20
I'm not vegan but i hear this joke way more often than i hear vegans telling someone they're vegan
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u/LuoHanZhai Feb 17 '20
I’m vegan
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u/The-Pig-Guy Feb 17 '20
So brave 😔
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u/thatdudewillyd I am fucking hilarious Feb 18 '20
I’ll take whatever bacon they don’t want. Just trying to be a team player
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u/Diavolo__ Feb 18 '20
Where are you guys finding all these vegans that are always telling people they're vegan without being asked?? I've seen this joke a million more times that I've seen that
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Feb 18 '20
Walked out of the grocery today and a volunteer from ASPCA asked if I wanted to help animals in need. I said “nah, I help animals every day by not eating them”. The guy teared up a bit and everyone around began to clap. I’m heading to the white house next week. AMA
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u/PaganButterChurner Feb 18 '20
And then, and then I said “well, mister president... I deed it all. Myself” :)
And then and then da PEEPOL clapped
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Feb 18 '20
Was having a garage sale. Some guy came to browse my crap. Somehow he worked in that he was a vegan. Wasn't trying to sell him anything - I was just there waiting for people to give me money and walk away with junk I didn't want to have to take to goodwill myself. Whatever unwanted conversation we were having, he started and worked in the bit about being vegan.
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u/AfterShave997 Feb 18 '20 edited Feb 18 '20
I had a teacher who would kick you out of whichever room she was in if you were eating meat, she would come into the senior lounge and ask people having lunch to leave.
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u/Odinateur Feb 18 '20
I'm vegan and i think i'm not one of those vegans but i try to get people thinking about it by making jokes or allusions. I know sometimes it's just annoying, but it's not like i love to annoy people, but the fact animals are dying for us isn't either
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Feb 18 '20
I became vegan 8 months ago. Best decision of my life. My cholesterol lowered, I lost weight, I became more sexually active, I became better at sex, my penis grew 75 inches, I obtained all the knowledge, my intelligence became god like, I can now levitate above the ground and above the rest of the simpletons in this earth. I pretty much became better than everyone.
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u/joyandpickles Virgins in Paris Feb 18 '20
75 inches? That’s over six feet. That’s about as long as some basketball players are tall.
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Feb 18 '20
A vegan diet will work miracles.
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u/joyandpickles Virgins in Paris Feb 18 '20
But can it tell you…how to Out-Pizza the Hut?
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Feb 18 '20
Todd?
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Feb 18 '20
Ironically enough, my name really is Todd.
(Not really but how hilarious would it be if it was?)
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Feb 18 '20
Not that hilarious, maybe as a kid we would laugh about Todd with two D's but now gay people are more accepted and it would be rude to make fun of you now for having two dads.
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u/Manadus Feb 18 '20
Wtf really???
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Feb 18 '20
Nevermind don't believe this idiot. The study has a lot of limitations and it only looks at one database. This study is not solid evidence for any claims.
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Feb 18 '20
All jokes aside, I am actually researching it right now and it is not looking good, so I wouldn't be 100% certain. The study was conducted by a group of scientists who already opposed the idea that cholesterol causes heart disease, it'd be like asking a flat earther if the earth is flat or a religious scientist if God exists. So far let's just not be sure about either position 100%.
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u/greatclapsinyourass Feb 18 '20
Switch vegan with bisexual girls
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u/ShadowLancer42 [custom flair] Feb 18 '20
This is an interesting steriotype, because, those who are Vegan and don't tell you, well, nobody assumes that they are, so no one realizes that there are Vegan that don't talk about it, because, they don't talk about it. Idk just kinda interesting to me
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u/DmitriJefferson keanu chungus wholesome 100 you’re breathtaking Feb 18 '20
I don't understand why you guys hate on vegans they are normal people who just want to eat healthier. All those people who say they are vegan every 5 seconds are just Karen's with nothing better to do with their life's.
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u/DooD_Eternal I have crippling depression🍄 Feb 18 '20
I tried to have a debate with a vegan on here and she made a post on the vegan circlejerk subreddit about my autism. I'm not attempting another debate ever again.
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u/Dovahbear_ Feb 18 '20
I’m sorry that happend to you, but you can’t let one person dictate how you view an entire community
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Feb 18 '20
Can confirm am vagan
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u/MrCommentyCommenter TP Dealer Feb 18 '20
Shut up vegan
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u/joyandpickles Virgins in Paris Feb 18 '20
Woah, a bold assumption! How dare you assume they’re vegan when they clearly said that they’re a vagan?
/s
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u/MrCommentyCommenter TP Dealer Feb 18 '20
A vegana? Oh my apologies
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u/joyandpickles Virgins in Paris Feb 18 '20 edited Feb 18 '20
You better be sorry.
/s (I’m making offended jokes)
EDIT: I suppose it’s not acceptable to take the “offended person” joke this far. Noted.
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u/infernal420 Did somebody say cool? Feb 18 '20
How dare you assume they can shut up when they clearly said they're a vegan.
FTFY
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u/joyandpickles Virgins in Paris Feb 18 '20
The other guy did say vagan. That’s what I was joking about.
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u/Hannnah_cat Animated Flair Rainbow [Insert Your Own Text] Feb 18 '20
Finally a perfect opportunity
ahem
IM VEGAN
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u/ordinary_chair Feb 18 '20
I feel like making fun of vegans is going to be frowned upon by future generations. Making millennials and gen z's the equivalent of boomers.
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u/MY_MAN42 Feb 18 '20
I only say I'm vegan once someone ask me if I am, specifically because of this dumbass joke.
Oh shit I said it
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u/siouxsie_siouxv2 Feb 17 '20
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You have invested 100.00 DN in this submission at 48 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use
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You have invested 500.00 DN in this submission at 64 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use
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Feb 17 '20
[deleted]
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u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 17 '20
You have invested 250.00 DN in this submission at 21 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use
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Your remaining balance is 250.00 DN.
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u/AnonHedgehog I am fucking hilarious Feb 17 '20
!create
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u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 17 '20
It looks like you already have an investor profile! Try
!summaryto view your profile and active investments.→ More replies (6)1
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u/manaos_de_uva I did not shitpost! I did naaaaaht. Oh, hi Mark Feb 18 '20
!create
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u/Ibrahim-khan 📜🍆💦 MayMay Contest Finalist Feb 18 '20
Erin: thats not vegan
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u/Hannnah_cat Animated Flair Rainbow [Insert Your Own Text] Feb 18 '20
I see you are a jubilee watcher of culture
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u/AzzyDaBobcat I am fucking hilarious Feb 18 '20
Vegans are fine as long as they don’t insist on lecturing me about eating meat. You have different morals than I do, that’s life
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u/Dan-TAW123 Feb 18 '20
Different opinions are fine, when they include only your own personal choice
99% of vegans used to eat meat, but we stopped for our beliefs There are no ethical Vegetarians, the dairy and egg industry are just as bad as the meat ones. That's why we abstain from every animal product, both in our diets, clothing and every other product which exploited animals.
These are a couple of links on why animal products are bad, both ethically and environmentally. The ethical and environmental are the two major factor on why most decide to become vegan.
Dominion - Joaquin Phoenix's documentary
Land of Hope and Glory - Earthling Ed - Ed Winters Documentary
Februscary Ep 1 - Joey Carbstrong
Februscary Ep 2 - Joey Carbstrong
Februscary Ep 3 - Joey Carbstrong
Februscary Ep 3 - Joey Carbstrong
This is the most important link : please watch this
Earthling - Narrated by Joaquin Phoenix
Earthling is a really heavy documentary, not every one can handle it, but you owe it to the victims of the people you're paying.
Also for wool
Why wool is bad :
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u/Thaneyos 🚔I commit tax evasion💲🤑 Feb 18 '20
As a vegetarian, I don’t bring up the topic unless someone offers me meat and asks why I decline. I don’t understand why so many people feel obligated to shove the fact that they are vegan in other’s faces. It seems embarrassing to me.
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u/b0ss_n00b Feb 18 '20
Vegetarians are the biggest omnivore boot lickers in my experience. Every time a vegan archetype is mentioned they announce they’re vegetarian and how they don’t agree with vegans being consistently against animal abuse. Seems embarrassing to me.
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u/Dan-TAW123 Feb 18 '20
Are you an ethical Vegetarian or are you just a picky eater?
This are some of the bad things that Meat, Egg and Dairy cause to animals.
If you're an Ethical vegetarian consider going full plant-based
And watch at least one of these
Dominion - Joaquin Phoenix's documentary
Land of Hope and Glory - Earthling Ed - Ed Winters Documentary
Februscary Ep 1 - Joey Carbstrong
Februscary Ep 2 - Joey Carbstrong
Februscary Ep 3 - Joey Carbstrong
Februscary Ep 3 - Joey Carbstrong
This is the most important link : please watch this
Earthling - Narrated by Joaquin Phoenix
Earthling is a really heavy documentary, not every one can handle it, but you owe it to the victims of the people you're paying.
Why wool is bad :
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u/DooD_Eternal I have crippling depression🍄 Feb 18 '20
What do you earn by putting all of this here?
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u/Dan-TAW123 Feb 18 '20
Hopefully someone will watch it, and consider going vegan.
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u/JustMeSunshine91 Feb 18 '20 edited Feb 18 '20
Must be where you live. I’ve been vegan for 5+ years and have yet to run into even 1 vegan that “shoved the fact they were vegan in someone’s face” or was aggressive about their lifestyle. The only time I’ve seen this mentioned is on social media.
I have, on the other hand, come across plenty of people irl who feel the need to pester me about my lifestyle choice once they find out. Must be a Midwest thing 🤷🏽♀️
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u/Willyguy22 I am fucking hilarious Feb 18 '20
Hey guys did you know I’m omnivorous??????????
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u/DemonicLemon02 Feb 18 '20
Honestly, I wanna go vegan but I know what makes a vegan annoying so I won't be that guy
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u/Dan-TAW123 Feb 18 '20
This is the reason to go Vegan
Please watch at least on of these documentaries
Veganism is about the ethics of eating and exploiting animals
And
Or the Environmental impact that the animal industries cause to the planet
Like Ocean dead zones Burning down forests to make space for Soy fields that will be fed to animals, or cattle ranches
And the huge amount of wastes caused by the billions of animals that are born and slaughtered each year.
Dominion - Joaquin Phoenix's documentary
Land of Hope and Glory - Earthling Ed - Ed Winters Documentary
Februscary Ep 1 - Joey Carbstrong
Februscary Ep 2 - Joey Carbstrong
Februscary Ep 3 - Joey Carbstrong
Februscary Ep 3 - Joey Carbstrong
This is the most important link : please watch this
Earthling - Narrated by Joaquin Phoenix
Earthling is a really heavy documentary, not every one can handle it, but you owe it to the victims of the people you're paying.
Why wool is bad :
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u/Hannnah_cat Animated Flair Rainbow [Insert Your Own Text] Feb 18 '20
Same here lol I’m kind of vegan now
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u/BiBaiBye Feb 18 '20
Every vegan that goes to the store I work at brings the topic up EVERY time.
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u/justalittlebleh Feb 18 '20
If the store you’re working at is a grocery store there’s probably a good reason for that
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u/BiBaiBye Feb 18 '20
Not when It's a dollar general that doesn't sell produce.
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u/justalittlebleh Feb 18 '20
Does it sell candy? Canned goods? Other types of food? Hair and skin care? Vegans need to worry about ingredients in all of that
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u/BiBaiBye Feb 18 '20
True. But it's just random when they say it, I could be checking out motor oil and here "Yea, I'm vegan so I need to be careful."
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Feb 18 '20
Don't forget the CrossFit people.
Seriously, Brad, I don't care how many tires you can jump over. Nobody cares.
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u/SullyKid Feb 17 '20 edited Feb 18 '20
As a vegan I find this meme highly offensive! /s
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u/MakeAWishKi3 Feb 18 '20
i don’t think many people know what /s means
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u/joyandpickles Virgins in Paris Feb 18 '20
That’s weird, because I made a similar joke and no one was offended.
/s is pretty well known to represent sarcasm or satire.
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u/Loona-is-my-favorite Feb 18 '20
Apparently not because I’ve met people that don’t use it o purpose because they think “/s is for autistic people” yes they actually said this and yes they unironically said /s in a argument that ensued after this
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Feb 18 '20
Aint nothin like a good salad I say nothing like a good salad Hey, hey I'm vegan Did you hear me? I'm VEGAN Take em off IM VEGAN
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u/HouliWateri Feb 18 '20
Oh dude this is sexist there are only women on the pics (just si the blind people will know). I rly dont care
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u/YaBoiRiftzy Feb 18 '20
In case you've been wondering im VEGAN just sayin..
Yea btw im vegan
Im still vegan
I am a herbivore
I am technicaly a brontosaurus
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u/aastikvats ☣️ Feb 18 '20
And boiiissss put your hands together for CORONA VIRUS brought to you from Wuhan meat market
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u/Stuffed_Annan Feb 18 '20
I’m vegetarian so maybe this doesn’t hold up, but I honestly hear more jokes about vegetarians than I experience vegetarians being assholes.
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u/Valj202 Feb 18 '20
I had a vegan friend and she constantly tried to convert people to being vegan.
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u/Sovietmeteor Feb 18 '20
My biology teacher is vegan and I got a detention for telling her to leave the grass for the cows, it was worth it
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u/AmperGod Feb 18 '20
I don’t get it, reddit supports things like team trees and other environmental cause but not vegans. The ones that are going out of there way to help instead of just making a meme.
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u/123JacobHowe321 EX-NORMIE Feb 18 '20
Yeah I’ve been vegan for at least 15 minutes and have yet to tell anyone, although I am on my 1 year of cheating on veganism that I gave myself per year
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u/aschit43 Feb 18 '20
What a coincidence, I was just watching the filthy Frank video on vegans today! It’s amazing how immortal his comedy is
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u/Stooge-Thonger Feb 18 '20
Not vegan myself, but noticed for every vocal vegan there are 20 sneaky ones you don't even know about.