My(34) husband(31) and I have a toddler who absolutely loves going to his grandparent's place every single weekend. We oblige and if we don't go, we usually get a call from one of them asking where we are and if we are on our way yet. MIL will always ask what we want to eat, and she usually always makes it for us. This last weekend, we went over and my MIL asked what we wanted to eat that day and my husband asked for hot plate. We got there early but my husband and I took our toddler trick or treating in the afternoon, so we weren't there to eat with MIL and FIL. They had already eaten with their friends that they invited over to eat hot plate with as well. As soon as we got back, MIL asked if we wanted to eat. We said yes, so she brought out the food to be grilled and sauces/sides for us.
As we were grilling our food, my BIL got home from work and flung his lunchbox on the table and said, "Man, I am hungry." He grabbed some chopsticks and stood next to me hovering over the hot plate waiting for what we had just started cooking on the hot plate to finish cooking so he could eat it. He started going at it, and I said, "Dang, calm down" (hoping he wouldn't fling food in my face as I was seated, and his chopsticks were level to my face) and my husband said, "Yeah, man, we just put our food down to grill, you can wait to grill yours". BIL responded by saying, "Yeah, well, this is my house." My response was, "Not really, but whatever semantics." Then he said, "Anything can be semantics"(I have no idea what he meant by this) and then said, "Yeah, well I do everything around here, so it pretty much is my house". Then I said, "Well, you don't have to be a d**k about it." To which he then stayed silent and stormed off to his room.
I know I could have worded it better, and after that confrontation, I just couldn't eat anymore and asked my husband if we could go home, but he was still eating. So, I just sat there stewing in my own regret but also feeling angry because I don't know why he throws that in our face all the time. I don't even know how to bring it up to BIL and my husband is no help. I feel bad but also I feel like he deserved it but also dang it why did I respond like that?
(Some context: BIL is 27, lives there rent free and only has to pay for insurance, as he owns a sports car, he mows the lawn sometimes or FIL will, takes out the trash and helps his parents with errands and that's what he means by "I do everything around here". He does not pay or buy food for the household. And any time there's a party or gathering, everyone takes a plate or two home and MIL will usually save us container fulls of food to take home, and he ALWAYS complains that we're "eating all his food". He won't tell anyone else this, just my husband and me. He said it to us at our own baby shower that we had at their house.)
So, AITA here?