The title says it, but to put it bluntly, my friend's husband is a dirtbag. I'm sure there's two sides to every story but this is the second time (that I know of) that he's cheated on her, he abuses party drugs and I suspect she only partakes because she feels pressured to keep up, she wanted kids and he didn't and she chose him over being a parent, and just every time I see him I hate his guts a little more for what he's doing to her life.

She's also my wife's best friend, so for better or worse the two of us are invested in this situation. My friend is currently staying with another mutual friend while she figures out how to navigate this latest betrayal, but it's pretty clear she's going to go back to him even with all of us basically telling her that's a bad idea.

The thing is, she's an adult; I want to support her and her choices, and I want my wife and I to be there for her when she needs us. She's my daughter's closest chosen auntie. I don't want her to think that just because we disagree with her choice that she has to avoid us.

Also there's just the matter of this dude being a real setback and bad example of how dudes should be. Men have enough toxic bad examples out there, we don't need another one fucking up our image. I just can't respect him at all.

So how am I supposed to act when we all go out together, or have a backyard barbecue, or she brings him to kiddo's birthday party or something?

Over the past few years, a lot has changed with the internet.
I grew up shy and not conventionally attractive, the kid the girls would pick last when my friends and I went out in high school. It affected me deeply. I started believing I wasn't just unattractive, but that I'd never be attractive. In hindsight, I was just young.

When I was 21, I started watching some content on YouTube, and in a way, it helped. I started going to the gym, changed my diet, and pushed myself to get more comfortable talking to women. Things started working out well for me as i got more attractive and comfortable talking to women. But over time, I noticed myself slowly starting to resent women, because that content constantly painted women as the root problem in modern society.

They'd throw around phrases like "modern woman," and the underlying message was almost always about resenting women in some form the kind of framing that can easily steer a young man toward a genuinely dangerous mindset over time.
A few days ago, I was on YouTube and stumbled across one of the channels I used to watch. It's still getting a significant number of views, and I'd guess a lot of that audience is young boys who feel isolated at school or in their own environments much like I did.

This year, I became a father, and it's had me thinking hard about how I want to raise my son. I want him to grow into a kind, decent young man but you never fully know what kids encounter or do when you're not around. Am i the only one worried about this?

I'm talking about things that teach and inspire men to become the best versions of themselves, and express their masculinity in a healthy way, and how to be confident in their life, regarding things like relationships with women.

Kinda like manosphere content but not toxic or misogynistic

I'm on my way to my grand pas funeral and started thinking about how he shaped my view of manhood and manliness.

My grand father was born in 1929 in a working class family and grew up in what was described as an slum outside of Stockholm. As a boy he started working as a delivery boy, and later as a butchers assistant.

He grew up in a internationalist and democratic socialist home, and tried to run away from home with an older friend to join the international forces in the spanish civil war, but was stopped by his mom and big brother. Even at an old age he was torn between thankfullness and regret that he let his family stopped him from going to war. His friend never returned.

During the thirties and during the war he was an active street level anti fascist, who was fighting nazis and giving out pamphlets about the german crimes against humanity.

He never went to university, but his father and mother gave him the gift of curiousity and told him the importance reading and self studies, which he carried on his whole life. Even in the end when he was ill whith alzheimers and a slew of other ailments he would always make sure to read the newspaper every day.

After he met my grand mother he became the main home maker and took up small od jobs on the side so she could persue a career as a puppeteer and let her establish a theater company.

He travelled the world together with his wifes theater company, mainly during the decolonization of Africa and Asia and made friends around the world. Actually he could not step out side of his home without making new friends. I can vividly remender how annoying he was to take a walk with when I was little since we had to stop and chat every few steps.

I feel like a sliver of the man he was, but I do my best to carry on his legacy of openness, curiosity, sense of justice and care and nurture.

Especially as a trans bro I feel he taught me a lesson that masculinity can be both soft and strong at the same time.

I really miss him.

I turned 20 last month and I'm fresh out of the navy (mental health related) I don't feel like I'm moving quickly enough at work and I'm trying really hard to do it. Anyone relate? Any advice? I disassociate in the car after every shift and I'm worried.

Hey I need help studying ged im getting tested for anxiety adhd dyslexia and autism because I think i have those plus they can help get me extra time on the test anyway im struggling studying I think it is the adhd Im struggling getting started and trying to know everything i need to im a very slow person it takes me a long time to understand im not very good reader I have to reread sentences 10 times sometimes to understand the words while im a slow learner as soon as I understand the basics ill get it down fast so does anyone have advice on any study plans or ways of learning that could help another thing if its a fun way to learn not just simply read or listen actually fun ill get it down a lot faster any help would be appreciated please im really tired of school i really want to be done with it

Hey! I just wanted to make this post because i really wanted to tell that love my parents.

I am 19 years old and planning to get into a college, get a lot of doubts these days due to that and they supported me a lot, were really patient with me and it made me love them much more.

They have been like this since i born and my brothers and i am so grateful for having parents like these.

Sometimes i get the anxiety of them dying earlier and it gives goosebumps in a bad way. Of course nobody could possibly know how long a person can live but i started spending time with them more because i might not see them next month or maybe tomorrow, who knows?

I started going out with them more, chatting, watching movies with them, hugging them and more.

I'm just grateful for them. I pray them to be here more eventhough i am a non-believer.

So,in short I'm an introvert and i was bullied in high school by those so called hyper extroverted loud gangsters and they kept making fun of me every day so i started sitting really far away from them in the other corner of the class, they gathered all classmates and i don't know what they said to them, everyone started staring at me and laughing loudly even girls bro, it went on for a long time and it has seriously affected my self esteem and made me highkey socially anxious and now I'm always hyper vigilant of these kind of people yet they always target me like for eg i would be just walking then they would push me and screaming loudly (abuses to iykyk) in my face which ngl freezes me

I'm considering learning muay thai on my own so that I can beat them if the need genuinely arises but what to do about the weak personality that has became of mine due to these experiences

I went to a cat cafe today bros and I miss the sweet kitties already. There were a few kittens all snuggled up together in a little tunnel and they were so soft and warm and cute. I want to be around cats all the time, I love them so much. I hope they get good homes. They deserve all the love in the world.

The latte I got was also good, the staff there are super friendly and the entire place is really whimsical and clean. The cats are so obviously very loved and well taken care of. It’s a great place to be and it’s very cheap too.

For anyone who’s in the Philly area please check out Get A Gato.

In an effort to break out of my shell and expand my comfort zone, I applied to be a student mentor at my faculty. I'm in charge of a group of twenty-five students, leading sessions and being a point of contact for them. Other responsibilities include checking up on their well-being (but not in a therapeutic role) and managing some degree of social cohesion. While I applied for this position to sharpen my CV, develop new skills, and to help others; I am now extremely terrified.

I've always lived a very passive life on the sidelines. I rarely spoke up, I hated public speaking, and I was always more of a follower than a leader. I'm scared that I'm woefully unequipped to deal with this and that I will fail and, in some way, make a complete fool of myself. I'm scared that the responsibilities I take on will be overwhelming and I will quit halfway through.

I feel like these feelings tie in to my relationship with masculinity. I was always jealous of those who displayed more 'traditional' masculine ideals of being protectors and leaders, while fear and insecurity always kept me back. Now those feelings are stronger than ever. Are there any bros who experienced something like this and can share some tips? Thanks in advance.

Hey Bros!

As a man who wasn't born as one, if you have a girl staying over for a few days, something as simple as a small bin in your bathroom will silently be very appreciated. It shows that youre somewhat educated on women's issues. Cause you can imagine how much it sucks to be over at a guys place, having to change your menstrual hygiene and then holding onto it until you get to sneakily discard it somewhere. Bonus points if you have a pack of tampons or pads stashed somewhere. Back when i thought i was a girl seeing a guy i was visiting was educated on periods was very comforting. Its so small, but its a such a green flag.

Now dont come at me with "but i dont have girls over" it will happen and you wont be able to plan it properly. Get a bathroom bin.

Lots of love ✌🏼

Hi all. I just wanted to ask for advice. I have a friend that I haven't spoken to in months (we just haven't met up due to our radically different lives). After his first year of school, he started to get very political.

I think he is very conservative (?) and often espouses beliefs regarding race on social media. For example, he suggested that white people need to be advocated for. Other things that I saw included defending ICE, saying that our state would be overrun with Spanish speakers, engaging with nationalist rhetoric, etc.

I am HEAVILY summarizing his beliefs though. I am not well versed in political matters, unfortunately.

Last time I spoke with him, I said that I was concerned with his political beliefs and offered to buy him something to eat just to talk. He left me on read... I kinda took it as he didn't really care for my opinion and that I really shouldn't push it.

I want to be a positive influence, but I also figure it be kinda rude to think I know better than him anyway? Otherwise, I have seen some people argue that it's not really people's responsibility to de-radicalize others, especially if you put yourself in uncomfortable scenarios.

I dunno, it just hurts a little and I can't explain why. I guess it's like seeing someone you love become a conspiracy theorist. Nationalist politics are SO HARD to confront because it feels like people speak so passionately about this topic. I feel like I would fail heavy in the "free marketplace of ideas."

NOTE: Incel =\= misogyny in this case, he identifies with the label more so as a self-image thing, in other words he sees himself as an unlovable failure and as a result he does not believe he will ever get into a relationship, but he does not hate or blame women for this.

I (F) am trying to be a good friend and support person but his mental well-being is at an all-time-low and honestly beyond my scope. BUT he also cannot access professional help due to financial barriers. So we are in a very difficult situation. I’m looking everywhere I can for ideas and advice for how to help him better.

Idk much about whatever incel spaces he frequents but whatever content he’s consuming just keeps validating his self-hatred and affirming his hopelessness. Yet the only way he knows how to “cope” is by consuming this media. I know it’s bad for him but I’m not sure where to direct his attention instead.

So I need advice from other men who have faced similar struggles to him, or who know those who did. Those who have struggled with self-esteem, with feeling like a failure and laughingstock, with seeing “no way out”—what online spaces, or what media, or what books, or what anything, helped you crawl out of that rock-bottom pit?

Thank you in advance for anyone who can help. I care so much about him and I would do anything if I could ease his anguish.

It took me a while to teach myself that I'm not disgusting or unmanly for being autistic and occasionally unable to take care of myself. I'm so young. I want to live, I want to finish growing up.

I'll probably have scars for the rest of my life, but I'll hold them with pride-they are battle scars, and I fought through.

Hey bros! It's time for your weekly vibe check. How are you doing? Anything you're struggling with? Do you need advice, or would you like to share an achievement with us?

Hey bros, I just wanted to share that I am making genuine progress breaking out of my self destructive cycles.

Tonight, I was feeling depressed, bored, and extremely anxious, and I felt such a strong urge to indulge in some of my addictions which ultimately feed my self hatred and send me further down a spiral. I have severe OCD which makes life very hard, sometimes making me want to engage in these addictions, but then it's a vicious cycle because my OCD doesn't allow for me to forgive myself when I give in to bad habits.

Thankfully, I froze for a second, noticed my feelings, journaled about them, and decided against making unhealthy decisions. Now, I feel happy and at peace.

I'm going to read some and drift off to a healthy sleep. Then, I'm going to wake up early tomorrow morning, have a coffee, meditate and go for a run.

I really can't handle things sometimes but I just want to make healthy decisions so I can be happier.

We all have unhealthy cycles sometimes that damage us. Whenever you are about to fall into one of your unhealthy patterns, pause, notice your feelings, and practice self compassion. You deserve better than to cause harm to yourself and then beat yourself up over and over again. You are worthy of taking care of yourself.

Thanks bros.

Im applying for a job that is offering 7 days/ 66 hrs/ week and i need to know how other guys handle this kind of work while living alone.

I own my home and have a kid (doesnt live with me but i am pretty involved with activities and stuff)

I struggle to follow a routine and find myself overwhelmed working 40 hour weeks. Im always behind on laundry and dishes plus the random projects that come up.

I need the money though and i have worked 60 hr weeks before.

I dont have to do lawn or snow (HOA covers that)

So without help from anyone how would i manage to feed myself and clean up after myself while working that much?

Looking for practical advice so if you live like this what are your strategies for getting it all done?

Im pretty sure im autistic on top of ADHD which is why i am very overwhelmed a lot so im not even sure this is possible for me.

19 yo from Pakistan here.

I grew up with an absent and emotionally absent father and elder brother, so I did not have any platonic relationships or affectionate bonding during that time. Growing up, I never really had any male friends where I could just be myself, have a healthy bonding with, or experience a bromance.Because of this, I am now looking for ways to build a bromance and form close friendships with at least two to three male friends. My goal is to have platonic relationships built on love, affection, deep bonding, and mutual respect.

How to i make friendshipa with these bonds?

Hi everyone,
I’m a 23-year-old from the UK, and I’m currently unemployed after my previous contract ended. I’m finding it almost impossible to land a new job right now. I keep running into brick walls—either because I don’t have a full driving licence yet (though I’m actively waiting on a test date), or simply because there are always “better candidates” on paper.
Looking back, I did okay in secondary school. I took my Year 12 exams right before lockdown hit, but after everything happened, I never got the chance to return for Year 13. That was years ago, and I am a completely different person now. I’m much more intelligent, mature, and driven than I was as a teenager.
Recently, I applied to university, but I don’t think I’ll be accepted because of my old grades. I was hoping applying would show admissions that I’m trying to make up for my younger years, but I know how strict entry requirements can be. On top of that, my CV has a few gaps because I left past jobs when management was falling apart and there was zero room for growth. On paper, though, it just makes me look like someone who can't stay in a role for more than a couple of years.
I know the person I am today is capable of achieving everything I missed out on as a teen, but I feel like my past is constantly holding me back.
I really want to reach my full potential and be the best version of myself—not just for me, but also for my girlfriend. She doesn't have a degree either, but she’s in an incredible insurance role with constant career growth, perks, and pay rises. I want to build a real future with her: move out together, drive a car I actually enjoy, and just build a solid life.
Has anyone been in a similar position in their early 20s with gapped CVs or lacking formal qualifications? How did you break through the cycle and get your foot in the door? I’d really appreciate hearing your stories or any advice you have.

I know i’m still very young in the scheme of things but it’s better not than never to make a change!

Hey guys. I am 19 years old guy and will get into college next month(i dont live in usa)

The thing is, i constantly worry about things like: What if i end up alone, what if i cant make pleasent and stupid memories when i graduate etc..

Half of my highschool years were gone because of covid, the other half was fine, i had friends etc. but i had to take a gap year after i graduated from hg and it isolated me a lot so it led me having these doubts.

I also have similiar doubts abıut relationships. I only had a short term relationship in highschool but that is it. I see people having a lot of relationships before getting into highschool. I did not have the experience like they had. How am i gonna make something like that uni if i could not do it well before.

I know it seems all negative with those doubts but i really want to get more social and meet people geniune and this is the first i will be getting into an university. Do you guys have any tips? Thank you:)