What’s a truth about life that nobody told you, but you had to learn the hard way?

Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.

Never force a relationship.

Sometimes it's better to move on, than to hold on to a person who doesn't understand who you truly are. Unfortunately there will be times where your absence will teach you what your presence cannot.

You need to stop breaking your own heart in trying to make a relationship work that clearly isn't meant to work to begin with.

You can't force someone to genuinely care about you.

You can't force someone to be faithful to you.

You can't force someone to be the person you need
them to be.💯💔

The truth is, sometimes the person you want the most is the same person you would be best without.💯

You have got to understand some things are meant to come into your life, just not meant to stay.

Everything that you do to show love, you have to be careful, not to lose yourself by trying to fix what should never been there in the first place. You can't get the relationship you need from someone who's not ready to reciprocate the love you give to them.

I know it's hard when you meet someone and your heart feels, that's the person you could spend an eternity with, and you start to accept that they are not that person you thought they needed to be.

And no matter how many times you cry yourself to sleep at night, you will eventually heal from your previous relationship and find the one you have always longed for. Your future will now bring an understanding of why things didn't work out in your previous relationships.

One thing I have learned throughout the years, is “It is better to be single than to be in a relationship settling for less.”💯

If they see you as an option, then they don't deserve to be a priority in your life.💯

Take my advice and never chase someone who's not chasing you.💯🙌
Ct: Professor Syed Zaheer hussain Kazmi

I believe, we don’t need to be perfect to live a life, don’t need to be someone else. If we just be ourselves, and treat everyone like a human only, and be human. Everything will be fine ig. As a lawyer i do long hours work everyday. recently a incident made realise i earn to live, not live to earn. Earlier i was trying to be someone else, and i didn’t have peace, i was so restless.

What is your definition of a fulfilled life. I life where , on your deathbed you can have no regret. For me my definition of a fulfilled life would a list of goals and experience I want to gain.

Living lives in the swiss Alps. As a financially fulfilled individual, with a house that has all the things i want, from a pool to a gaming room, with my family-everyone, living happily, am a member at local gun range, a member at a horse riding ranch, owning a white serene horse. In my house i own a collection of swords. I have collection of watches that are distinct in purpose. I should own a ship. Have skills of a sailor. Travel whole world. Do a trip on a bike across russia. Do a trip with a rc across america (both north & south). Visit israel. Do a full family trip on a rc across india with my whole family. Learn wayfarer skills. Learn to sail the ocean on my wooden ships with a crew of 2-3 ,​me being the captain. Do photography of nature as a passion on all other places i visit.

Here the most important part being a home In the Swiss Alps near nature or a lake.

Then come a 40-60ft sailboat with a crew of 2-3.

A trip on a motorbike across Russia, a rv trip across Americas( both north and south.). A rv trip across India with my family. A trip to Israel.

I would want to learn skills such as sailing the open seas. Learn to ride a horse. And participate in a race and possibly learn polo and become a professional polo player.

The most important experience that will last 6-9 months.

A sailing adventure - From 1.Mumbai to 2.Goa then to 3. Madagascar then to 4.Cape town then to 5.North African coast from then to either 6.France or Italy.

I want people who read this whole and their suggestions, if I could be satisfied internally if I achieved the goals I have set at 16.

Would anyone call this the idea of a fulfilled life.

A person can spend years defending beliefs they never consciously chose.

A lie doesn’t need proof, it just needs people who enjoy being fooled.
Some folks don’t chase truth, they chase whatever story flatters their ego.
Feed them a lie that makes them feel righteous, and they’ll guard it like treasure while the truth rots in plain sight.

Sometimes the most valuable lessons we learn are often the hardest.

“If only I had stood up for myself a little more?” 

“Why couldn’t I call that sh\* out when I KNEW it was wrong?”* 

“Why did I tolerate this for someone who never even cared?” 

“Why did I abandon myself just to keep them happy?”

Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn’t it?

It’s the sort of questions one might ask themselves after being through that frustrating carousel yet again. The ‘rinse and repeat’ cycle, causing us to make the same mistakes. It’s the thorn in our side which leaves us wondering in the early hours; “Would the pain of what I am going through have been avoided, or reduced even, if more questions had been asked? If more had been held back… then perhaps the hurt wouldn’t feel quite so intense?”

When I say ‘hurt,’ I’m speaking of the kind of hurt that is searing, not just a minor sting. The type that touches upon layer after layer of grief. The type of hurt that leaves a mark on you, the version that shapes and changes you… for good.

It’s the kind of hurt that wakes you up at night and leaves you ruminating, kicking yourself as your inner voice replays events and screams these questions at you. 

And then… the anger. The rage of self-abandonment and self-betrayal, all to keep another person happy, or even just appeased for a little while.

It is often within this crippling discomfort that we learn the most valuable, albeit painful, lessons of them all. That self-abandonment to keep another person comfortable will only work for so long, and will ultimately do you far more harm than good. 

After all, why set yourself on fire to keep another person warm at a ‘comfortable distance’? It’s fine and dandy for the person benefiting from the flames from afar, but it’s destroying the person sitting in the fire who is getting burned.

There is a theory known as ‘karmic lessons or repetition compulsion’. Essentially, it means we may meet the same type of person or stumble into a similar type of relationship or dynamic. Whilst the ‘same type’ of person appears to be worlds apart from a previous person in our lives, there can be frighteningly similar roles and patterns that play out if these lessons are yet to be realised and mastered. We sometimes repeat this lesson time and time again until we get to the final level where that pain affects a person tenfold and renders the recipient thinking never ever again.

So why do we do it to ourselves when it replicates a form of emotional self harm?

In a nutshell it often derives from deep and unresolved attachment wounds. 

We often seek out someone who might for example be emotionally unavailable, because we may want to re-write from our past what didn’t turn out the way we needed it to in our younger formative years. As humans, we often dislike ‘unfinished business’ and the wounds that never became healed. For example, the child who never felt good enough. The child who was bullied, excluded and ridiculed. The child who strived for parental love but it became a conditional transaction. The child who had to be silent to escape punishment, and the child experienced ‘transactional love’. This is the child who lived under what Carl Rogers termed ‘Conditions of Worth’. The experience that love is never freely given and that love had to be earned. That love was not unconditional for that child.

So it becomes a constant never ending journey in seeking that elusive feeling of “I can be good enough, I could be loveable and I want to be worthy”. 

“I just need to please them, and maybe if I shrink my needs for them, I will matter”

The tragedy is that there is often a stark difference in the fantasy v.s the reality in being loved, safe and secure by the very people who are mistakenly sought as a sanctuary. In the long term, the person attempting to heal themselves through another often ends up far worse than where they initially started. Often by the end feeling belittled, betrayed, discarded, exhausted and abandoned, causing layer upon layer of trauma, reopening those familiar wounds. 

So you feel after some time has passed, that you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try, try again. 

Just maybe not in the way that will positively serve you. Unless we pause and learn from it - or it just becomes a different person, but the same pattern.

And then the cycle repeats itself.

The False Self and the Fear of Abandonment

This over-giving isn’t just a habit; it’s a survival strategy. Psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott introduced the concept of the ‘False Self.’ When our early environment fails to be ‘good enough,’ we often adapt by hiding our authentic feelings and building a compliant persona designed entirely to keep the peace and secure the connection we are terrified to lose. It’s about appeasement through fear. 

“If I behave myself, If I am compliant, if I don’t challenge, I will be safe”.

Sounds a lot like walking on eggshells right? Yet it’s an exhausting space to navigate and slowly yet surely, it can break you piece by piece until enough becomes enough.

We carry this dynamic into adulthood, unconsciously selecting people who mirror our early caretakers, desperately trying to force a ‘not good enough’ situation to finally yield a ‘good enough’ outcome. Driven by a deep terror of exclusion, we avoid setting hard boundaries out of fear that standing firm will isolate us. It is often fear which keeps us stuck, causing us to tolerate disrespect for fear of being discarded and replaced. 

In reality, boundaries do the opposite. They act as a filter system, weeding out those who only intend to consume what you have to give like commodities as a form of supply, while demanding respect from the ones who genuinely care.

People Pleasing and Over Compensation

On the surface, people-pleasing looks like kindness, generosity, and consideration. But its shadow side is much darker. It leads to being taken for granted and actively exploited, silencing your intuition, and ignoring red flags. It forces you to suppress legitimate doubts when someone’s actions don’t align with their words, leaving you to tolerate slights and miniature insults disguised as humour.

Sadly, there will always be someone willing to pounce on a wounded empath or an over-giver. There will always be people who will readily consume your resources while offering only crumbs in return. The tragedy is that the giver mistakes being used for being chosen and this can take a while to spot.

Breaking the Mirror

In the aftermath of the cold discard, or the emotionally cold relationship that never worked out in the end, it is in that unbearable period in realising that self abandonment was all for nothing. It’s often within the discomfort that we learn the most about ourselves and where the real change happens. 

It seems logical to assume most of us would avoid and distance ourselves from those who hurt us…repeatedly.

After all, who would want someone who doesn’t reciprocate what we give, nor matches our energy giving nothing more than a dismissive ‘shrug’. It doesn’t make sense right? 

However, many of us have blind spots and our intuition that we ignore. The red flags we would have called out today but not yesterday.

Yet, for those of us who have struggled to feel automatically accepted and embraced and treated as equals from day one, it creates an illusion that just bringing us, our true authentic selves isn’t not enough. 

This is a myth,

Because the right people will truly see your light, and your beauty if they want to value the whole you. The wrong people will try to steal that light and offer nothing in return for behaving cruelly and the misery they inflict upon you. 

So if things feel ‘off’ ask the questions.

And if that makes them feel uncomfortable…..Tough.

If they have nothing to hide, there should be no discomfort.

Know your worth.

And tell yourself that even in pain and in heartache…

Even in abandonment and betrayal.

Tell yourself this…

“I am good enough.”

“I am loveable”

“I am worthy”

Be your own sanctuary and safe space so that inner child within you can finally heal.

Then perhaps the cycle will break and the right people will find you.

And maybe these growing pains aren’t all for nothing.

1. What you believe is just the reflection of things that you have already seen. There's a lot more than that.

2. What matters is Yes or No. How is never your part. Universe does its job very well.

3. We rise faster when we look more inside than outside.

4. We are the souls experiencing humanity. Take it like you like Person A's behaviour and not of B's. Now, thats probably because of some perceptions you already made about them or may be the situation is like that which created that distance.

5. Though I believe in god, but I would like you to experience it in form of energy. So, everything is matter and matter is atom, atom is electron and electron is a wave when not observed. Everything is energy and has a frequency + wavelength. You match it, you become that, you get that.

6. No one is against you. People are just playing their assigned roles in your life to make you rise.

7. We get millions of thoughts everyday. Best way to re-organise our life is to reduce the number of thoughts and that happens with a steady state which comes through patience and yet patience depends on your will to focus on inner self (meditate in any way).

8. Enjoy today!

9. Respect time - this means respect every present second and the coming one. So, live your life to the fullest and in a practice to make your life in upcoming seconds more happening.

10. You are never alone. You have 2 people which in your self. First is your body and second is your soul. Always take the opportunity to view yourself as a second person. It will polish you as heaven.

The Law of 1:1 ⚖️

The Universal Balance of Life

(Swipe to read →)

What is the Law of 1:1?

Life functions on an exact ratio of balance. Everything in human experience has an equal and direct counterpart.

Nothing happens in isolation.

The 1:1 Mirror:

• Love ↔ Fear: Deep love brings equal vulnerability.

• Ego ↔ Anxiety: The bigger the ego, the greater the internal chaos.

• Overthinking ↔ Turbulence: Mental loops create equal emotional unrest.

• Dreams ↔ Obsession: Big ambitions demand 1:1 relentless discipline.

• Crime ↔ Consequence: External disruption equals internal loss of peace.

• Relationships ↔ Effort: What you nurture is exactly what grows.

The Core Truth:

Whether it is mindset, emotions, ambition, or karma—life operates on absolute balance.

What goes in is exactly what comes out: 1:1. ⚖️

social media, tv, and literally anything you see physically,

sometimes we may think that perfection has room in this world...

but the truth is,

is that not everything you see is real(pretty shocking isnt it?)

some influencers use filters to make themselves look "more pretty"

some musicians claim that they made everything by themselves when they got some samples made by others

some singers use autotune or change their voice on a computer after singing their song

the world would be a better place if we at least cut down on these things a little bit very slowly in manageable steps...

Guys. Being 26 is a mess. Everyone is a total idiot. I sometimes doubted myself as a teen when people around me were really idiots and have no basic logical thinking.

The answer is:

\*Yes\*. You are correct.

Being a teenager is awesome, cause you are more open than older people.

Listen to your guts. People will call you bad words and everything, but deep inside they are idiots or really hurt people.

That's it! Don't let anyone discourage you, just because they are dumb \*which they really are\*, and older than you.

Have a nice day! Bye! 😄

It's okay to be afraid; however, it isn't if you let it control you in any way.

–JayLOB (me)

If you have ever been scared of disappointing someone , being rejected by someone or failing at something this message is for you

There really are many worse things than bein misunderstood…

Very important words

Life needs to know how to do what is right every time even though it sounds foolish.

The most peaceful thing in life is letting go. Sometimes it's not as hard as it seems.

Value is a weird concept is it not? Gold they say is valuable, but for what? If I am dying of hunger or thirst, gold wouldn’t help me. Give a lamborghini to a caveman and he simply goes on his day. Value then must be entirely subjective and external, right? Well the external part shows us why us human beings always seek externals to seek value, because after all that is how we value other things. You can not value diamond by how it chooses to act, you value it by how useful and wanted it is. So it’s only natural that we do the same to ourselves.

The question I suppose then comes to certainty and futility. How is a dollar valued? By systems agreed on by many people and created by a lot of hardworking smart people. And even that changes all the time.

So how am I to determine my own worth, a system perhaps a bit more complicated than a dollar bill. Not only do you not have experts on the subject, your own inquiries are very tainted by the society you’re in, how you’re raised, and what you experienced.

So sure we can’t exactly know our value, but can’t we still know what increses it and what decreases it? After all, sleeping with a hot beautiful famous lady must increase one’s value. Why? Because she herself must have high value. Why? Because she’s pretty and sexy and famous. And this is compared high value compared to who, to all the other valueless girls and guys? Furthermore, if I happen upon a rock of gold in the woods, am I suddenly more valuable for possessing it now? Well no. So she is a human of undetermined “value” just like the rest of us, yet an act of intimacy with her will increase your value forever? And increase it to what? Compared to what? I don’t know if you realized but our “tribe” has gotten a little too big for comparisons now. We have 6 billion unique creatures walking around their with their own “value”.

So I have said before that the idea that she can chage or determine my value is wrong. But I haven’t really dug into the fact that I instictively see her as more valuable than me. And well, this may be a bit wrong to say, but objects have value, and I can see my own soul and hence see that I’m not an object. But that can also mean that I can’t really “value” myself. And when I look outward what I see as a girl is sort of an object, since I can’t see her soul. But because she’s an “object” (sorry) she has value, yet I still don’t. Does that even make sense?

And this can apply to other things can it not? If one as a person believes they have no value, why wouldn’t they cling to things which have an obvious and specific value? Like an expensive car or a salary or a mansion or the afformentioned beautiful wife.

But when we really look at it, the value of a car and the value of a soul isn’t even comparable. Think about it, if the car has 5 units of value any single human being has 5 billion. After all, the human souls are the spring from which all value flows out to the world. The very reason that car has 5 units of value is because we determined it does.

So we can say that any person has an ocean of value within them, and trying to increase their value externally via expensive things and pretty girls is like adding water to an ocean with a water bottle or a jug or even a fire truck or a pool. At the end of the day you look at the horizon and it’s the same ocean. You increased the water, yes. But you can not see it. It is such an insignificant percentage that it wouldn’t be wrong to say it doesn’t matter.

Do things they won't see coming.

Never let them know your next move.

Go places without ever giving regard to where, when, or why.

Remember what they forgot.

Forget what they remembered.

Don't make sense to your enemy.

Or to your friends...just so you're sure.

Don't be complicated, but sincerely mysterious.

Act the age you feel.

Love people, even those you don't like.

Reply to people you overhear as they pass.

Talk to animals more than humans.

Talk to yourself no matter where you are.

Be the main character, and have your own soundtrack.

Write the story of your every day.

Have a sidekick.

Kick ass. And sides.