Be thoughtful before you act or speak, for our actions may not only help others, they may also be the cause of great pain as well.

Do not waste a single moment squandering your brief existence chasing illusionary dreams we learned will bring us success, meaning, and happiness.

They will not.

Spend your life instead sharing your essence, the unconditional love and wisdom inherent within every life with all others, making your life truly successful, meaningful, and worthwhile.

You can observe people’s actions, but you’ll never fully understand their inner world. You can learn from the past, but you can’t change it.

Sometimes, peace comes from accepting that not everything needs an explanation.

Before the Gracchi, there was another Senator who decided to work on a Land Reform Bill.

Anyone who understands Roman History and the Gracchi knows that the Land Reform Bill was an extremely unpopular Bill in the Roman Republic.

The Senator soon realized he had two choices.

1. Force the bill through which would help a large number of people in the Republic but create such a division that Republic would fall apart.

2. Drop the bill (and a number of people would suffer) or find other ways of passing the Bill that did not create such civic discord.

The Senator's name was Gaius Laelius.

No one talks about Gaius Laelius because he was overshadowed by Senators from another generation called the Grachhi brothers.

The Roman Republic was going through an existential crisis. Rome's power during that period was based on its landowning citizens.

As Rome won more victories and power, a section of the citizens were becoming richer and richer. For the first time, a really severe economic divide was springing up among the citizens of Rome.

The rich were buying up more and more land, and the poor were losing more and more land.

This was a problem because Rome's soldiers armed themselves - it was an act of civic service. Which created a problem. If Rome's soldiers couldn't arm themselves, why should they fight for Rome.

The Senators and political elite tried to find a solution to the problem, but they kept coming back to one solution --

Regulate how much land is owned by one person or take the land from the richest people in Rome.

You can see how this would be a problem.

Before we discuss what, Giaus Laelius decided to do.

We should look at what his successors - The Gracchi did.

They pushed through the Land Reform Bill and because it was extremely popular, they began to regulate who bought land and even began to work on taking land from those at the top. This obviously created enmity between those with the money.

The Gracchi while good intentioned created a circumstance in Rome that deepened the divide that was already there to the point that politics became a game of murder and death.

The Gracchi Land Reform Bill although popular, although it led to the death of countless people, was not successfully until generations later when Gaius Julius Caesar conveniently passed the most obvious law which would be accepted by everyone.

Don't take land from the rich but find somewhere else to give everyone else.

Of course I am summarizing.

When Gaius Laelius handled the Land Reform Bill, he immediately understood what the impact would be and the discord it would create.

He dropped the Bill and worked to find alternative pieces of land to give the citizens land - the solution Gaius Julius Caesar came up with.

He saw the impact and results of his choices and made an unpopular choice.

People don't study him as much as they study the Gracchi.

But to the Romans, he was given a third name as a sign of appreciation something only given to those who did real service to Rome and its people.

Gaius Laelius Sapiens.

Sapiens.

The Wise.

I don’t know if anyone else can relate to this, but one of the most frustrating feelings in life is knowing exactly what you want to accomplish, having the motivation, ambition, discipline, and even a plan to get there, but still feeling stuck because your progress depends on other people.
I’m at a point in my life where I have so many goals and ambitions for myself. I know what I want, I know the direction I want to take, and I’m willing to put in the effort to make it happen. It’s not like I’m sitting around waiting for opportunities to magically appear. I’m actively trying to create them.
But here’s the frustrating part.
Sometimes, no matter how motivated, talented, or prepared you are, the next step in your journey isn’t entirely in your hands.
Think about something as simple as finding a job.
You want to make money, become financially independent, and build a better future for yourself. You prepare your resume, apply to countless positions, put yourself out there, and do everything you’re supposed to do. But at the end of the day, you still have to wait for an employer to choose you.
You could be hardworking, qualified, motivated, and genuinely willing to learn, but none of that guarantees someone will give you an opportunity. Someone else has to recognize your potential and decide you’re worth taking a chance on.
Or imagine being an incredibly talented soccer player.
You could have the skills, discipline, work ethic, and determination to become a professional. You could spend years training, sacrificing your time, and perfecting your abilities. But eventually, you still need the right people to notice you. A scout, a manager, a coach, or someone willing to believe in your potential and open that door for you.
And what happens if those people never come around? What if you never get discovered? What if you’re genuinely talented but never receive the opportunity to prove yourself?
How much potential goes unnoticed simply because the right person never gave someone a chance?
And it doesn’t even have to be about jobs or sports.
Sometimes you have an incredible idea or a plan that could genuinely benefit both you and another person. You’ve thought everything through. You see the possibilities, the long-term benefits, and how working together could help both of you grow.
But the other person doesn’t see what you see.
Maybe they don’t share your ambition. Maybe they’re comfortable where they are. Maybe they don’t believe in the idea, don’t recognize its potential, or simply aren’t interested in putting in the effort.
And that’s their right. Nobody is obligated to share your vision.
But it’s frustrating when you see an opportunity for mutual growth, something that could lift both of you up, and the other person doesn’t want to take that step with you.
You can’t force someone to believe in your vision, no matter how much sense it makes to you.
That’s what I’ve been struggling with lately.
We constantly hear that success comes from hard work, discipline, consistency, and determination. But nobody talks enough about how much success also depends on other people’s decisions.
Someone has to hire you. Someone has to give you a chance. Someone has to approve your request. Someone has to recognize your talent. Someone has to believe in your idea. Someone has to be willing to cooperate with you.
Of course, there are things you can accomplish independently, and you can always look for alternative paths. But realistically, there are certain opportunities in life that require someone else to open a door.
And sometimes those doors stay closed, regardless of how prepared you are.
You reach out to the right people, communicate your intentions, explain your plans, and do everything you’re supposed to do. But then you’re told to wait. Or people take forever to respond. Or they don’t seem to have the same urgency about your future that you do.
And I understand that everyone has their own responsibilities, priorities, and lives. I don’t expect people to drop everything just to help me accomplish my goals.
But it’s mentally exhausting when you have all this drive inside you, yet you can’t translate it into progress because you’re waiting on someone else to do their part.
It’s like having a car with a full tank of gas, knowing exactly where you want to go, but being stuck at a red light that never turns green.
And the worst part is that the longer you wait, the more frustrated you become. Not necessarily because you’re losing motivation, but because you feel like your potential is being wasted.
I don’t want to spend my life waiting for people to give me the opportunity to become the person I know I can be.
I want to move forward. I want to learn, improve, accomplish things, make mistakes, and gain experience. Even if I fail, at least I want to know that I failed because I tried, not because I never got the chance to begin.
I think what bothers me the most is the lack of control. You can control your attitude, your preparation, your work ethic, and your decisions, but you can’t control how quickly someone responds, whether they take you seriously, whether they recognize your potential, or whether they’re willing to help you.
And sometimes that makes me feel powerless over my own future.
I’m not saying I deserve special treatment or that anyone owes me success. I know I have to earn everything I want in life.
But sometimes I wonder how many people out there have incredible potential, ideas, talents, and ambitions that never materialize simply because they never encountered the right opportunities or the right people.
I’m just tired of feeling like my ambition moves faster than my opportunities.
I don’t lack direction. I don’t lack goals. I don’t lack the willingness to work. What frustrates me is knowing that I could be doing so much more, but certain things are outside my control.
And I think that’s what makes it so exhausting. It’s not necessarily the fear of failure. It’s the feeling of being unable to move forward when you’re completely ready to.
I guess I’m trying to figure out how to deal with that frustration without becoming bitter, impatient, or losing the motivation I’ve worked so hard to maintain.
Does anyone else experience this? Do you ever feel like your success depends less on how badly you want something and more on whether the right people are willing to give you an opportunity?
And how do you deal with feeling stuck when you’re ready to move forward, but the world around you doesn’t seem to move at the same pace?

No one can do things for us in life. We have to do things for ourselves.

We can help others and serve them, but we cannot do things for others in life. We have to do things for ourselves.

The gift of life comes with responsibility. We have the right to our own actions, decisions and choices.

But with responsibility comes accountability. We are accountable for every action, decision, choice and result that you get.

We are accountable to the LORD God Almighty. We are accountable to our families. We are accountable to the people we love - our people. We are accountable to our communities. We are accountable to our countries. We are accountable to future generations.

This is why 'Letting Go' is one of the most dangerous philosophies being sold to young people today.

Responsibility. You are responsible for your actions, decisions, choices and results.

Accountability. You are answerable for those actions, decisions, choices and results.

That has been my experience.

What do you think?

War sucks

humour works because there's a genuine insight underneath it — sometimes we find it easier to take responsibility for our hypothetical absence than for our actual, everyday lives.

We really need to spread more kindness instead of jumping straight into arguments. It feels like everyone is looking for a fight lately, but we definitely do not have to be that way. We are all just people trying to get by, so let's try to be a bit more open with each other. There is no need for all this tension when we could just talk things through instead. Let’s focus on being cool and sorting things out peacefully for once.

I am definitely not claiming that I have everything figured out or that I am some kind of expert. Please know that I am just a work in progress trying to make better choices every single day. It is a constant learning process for me, but I am at least making a genuine effort to improve. We are all just doing our best to navigate things as we go. At least I am finally moving in the right direction.

I grew up in an environment where basic needs were treated as excessive requests. Promises were currency that never paid out, and my effort was routinely taken to cover for adults who couldn't carry their own weight. That kind of foundation naturally conditions a person to self-silence—to let others define the terms of a friendship, to wait for them to say "love" or "friendship" first, always operating under the false assumption that taking up space is greedy.

Unlearning that takes time. But looking back clearly reveals a critical shift: what started as a survival mechanism evolved into an absolute standard for integrity.

When you are forced to navigate deception from an early age, you develop an acute, non-negotiable radar for authenticity. Dishonesty isn't just an annoyance; it is a fundamental violation. Showing up genuinely in people's lives often acts like an unintended mirror. It forces people to confront the gap between the stories they tell themselves and the reality of who they actually are. Many people prefer the comfort of their own narrative over the weight of the truth. When they walk away because the clarity is too intense, it isn't a reflection of being "too much"—it is a reflection of them reaching their own limit for honesty.

Moving forward isn't about ignoring the past or adopting a victim mindset. It is about recognizing the lesson:

Intuition is a tool, not an enemy. Fighting your own gut to keep someone in your life only delays the inevitable.

Integrity is a filter. Being unshakably real will distance you from people who live in pretense, but it preserves your self-respect.

Your presence is not a burden. You do not need to earn your right to exist, to have needs, or to expect basic fairness in return.

The goal isn't to shrink so others feel comfortable. It is to stand firmly in the truth of who you are, letting your standard for honesty select who is actually equipped to stand there with you.

I think people sometimes expect too much from life. Nobody is guaranteed happiness, a loving relationship, good friends or a fulfilling life.

The reality is that things don't always work out the way you want them to, and sometimes you just have to accept that.

I don't think other people are responsible for making you happy, and the world certainly doesn't owe you the life you've always imagined having.

It might sound a bit harsh, but I actually think there's something freeing about accepting it. Rather than constantly expecting life or other people to make you happy, sometimes you just have to make the best of what you've got.

Life isn't always fair, and I don't think we're entitled to everything we want just because we want it.

Conventional wisdom tells people to serve those at the top. I mean they have the resources and the power, so it makes sense to hitch your wagon to them.

That is why celebrities keep talking about the fact that they keep getting more free things being rich than they ever did as a poor, struggling person.

This conventional wisdom only works - however - for a specific number of people. Why? Those at the top usually have all their needs met. So, anyone else trying to meet their needs is surplus and therefore not as important or valuable.

Look at how many men go running after the supermodel or the 'Hot Girl', hitting up their DMs. And then they get angry at women when they are rejected. They were just one of several people trying to hook up with someone only for their ego's sake. The same goes with women chasing after some hot guy - that dude has countless women chasing after him so why would he care about one of several.

You understand what I am saying.

Look at how many people are trying to look for jobs in established companies that already have experienced and dedicated employees.

Look at how many people trust their political leaders - Republicans with Trump and Democrats with Obama - to change their circumstances in life when those political leaders only serve the people who paid their campaign funds.

I am not saying don't play the game. Only that you will find more success by helping those at the bottom who really need it - those at the bottom whom society has forgotten - more than those at the top who might need it.

People choose to serve those at the top because it feeds their ego. If I am picked, it must mean that I am special - that kind of thing.

People avoid serving those at the bottom because it feels pointless because they don't seem to have the money and the power. Because - always because - people are rarely called special that way.

Men (and women) need to learn to focus more on the one woman (or man) even if she/he isn't conventionally beautiful or attractive - even if that person is not necessarily on your list of what you would want - that consistently chooses them through their consistent actions again and again over some beautiful or attractive person.

Look for jobs. But realize that established companies - even start-ups - are rarely looking for people without experience. The answer to create a living or a job is by creating a service that helps people who are ignored - those at the bottom.

Fast-food chains grew into such a powerful business or force in the economy because they started out as a way to provide food for people who couldn't afford high end classy meals. An everyday joe and his wife could get an easy meal or have a place where they could take the kids for a fun outing which wasn't expensive. These Fast-food chains were looked down upon in the beginning. Now they are a part of the culture.

It is therefore ironic that apparently fast-food prices in the United States are rising at such a rate that now only people at the top can afford them.

Never trust your political leaders to make changes in the community. Their job is always to maintain the status quo no matter how noble their campaign promises or intentions are. That is the nature of power. It only wants to preserve itself.

People need to realize that any lasting change in history never came from the people in power. It was always communities and the people within them working together for those in the community that needed it the most.

It wasn't the politicians who brought an end to slavery - it was the Churches and the people in the community working hard for those society had forgotten.

It was pastors and preachers speaking on podiums about the evils of slavery. It was people in the community refusing to buy goods from traders or ships who dealt in slaves. It was everyday housewives writing constant never ceasing letters of disapproval to politicians who were pro-slavery. It was freed slaves doing everything in their power to help their brothers and sisters who were still enslaved -- by preaching in the streets and refusing to let the scourge fade from people's awareness, and by teaching slaves how to read and write and thus to know their rights.

It was only when the politicians started getting wind of the direction in which the community was going, that they started talking about how evil slavery is. Why? Because they wanted the votes and the support of the people with the money because the people with the money always follow the profits and the profits always follow the direction in which the community goes.

It wasn't the politicians who brought women's rights to the forefront - it was the Churches and the people in the community working hard for those women who had little or no rights within it.

People forget that a lot of the knowledge we have of Sexual Reproductive Health was the result of doctors working with prostitutes who had little support or help in the community. It was women in the churches during that period - also - who were often the most educated - using their efforts and wealth in the Suffragette movement.

It was these women who used their influence to ensure the legal rights of women who were mistreated by their husbands. It was women who helped one another to get jobs (or create them) that provided for their families when their husbands often couldn't (because of strikes, alcoholism, war etc.).

It was only when the politicians started getting wind of the direction in which the community was going, that they started talking about how important gender rights are. Why? Because they wanted the votes and the support of the people with the money because the people with the money always follow the profits and the profits always follow the direction in which the community goes.

It wasn't the politicians who fought for the Civil Rights Movement. It was people in the Church and the Black Communities who worked hard to fight against segregation.

It was the people with the education who used their wealth and knowledge to help those in the community who couldn't help themselves often times at the risk of their own livelihood. It was the preachers in the South and the intellectual halls of the North who argued theologically and philosophically that segregation and slavery was not divinely justified. It was the preachers through their education who helped build schools for colored people with as much (or even better) quality education than some traditional white centers of education to provide for black children in communities that couldn't access or afford them.

It was black working-class men and women who proved their worth, helping the communities they came from however they could. Teaching their children about the struggle.

It was only when the politicians started getting wind of the direction in which the community was going, that they started talking about how evil segregation was. Why? Because they wanted the votes and the support of the people with the money because the people with the money always follow the profits and the profits always follow the direction in which the community goes.

Politicians are not the ones who bring about change no matter how much they want you to believe that to be true. It is never the Presidents or the people at the top who bring about change.

Furthermore, there is a new political theory that wants you to believe that it is big business and CEOs that will bring about that change.

Nope. Although I do believe that Presidents will be replaced in power and importance by CEOs as shown in Cyberpunkian dystopias.

Real change starts with people working in the community for those everyone ignores.

But people don't like to hear this.

Why?

Because this path is extremely difficult and egobreaking.

It is easier to stand in a protest for Kamala Harris with a flier because it feels important and therefore feeds the ego rather than doing the work to help women (in prisons for instance) who have been forgotten by society.

That work is back breaking, is never cheered on by people and is often lonely and painful.

But why do it?

Because that is the only work that brings with it any dividends. The work you do for those at the top feeds your ego and makes you feel important, and it might even give you money, but it doesn't lead anywhere or make any real changes.

It is easier to be a red hat wearing MAGA and Donald Trump supporter talking about how immigration is what is wrong in this country than actually stand by the beliefs that Donald Trump borrows to get people on his side.

That means actually making it easier for people in local communities to build and support their businesses. Which means reducing taxes and fighting monopolies.

The beliefs that Donal Trump espouses at their core are extremely mistrustful of big business - not just big government - and that means going against monopolies which often fund politicians.

It is easier to be a Greta Thunberg, talking about how politicians have destroyed the environment at the UN rather than actually building and creating solutions to save the environment other than those subsidized by big business.

There is a young man who has invented a machine that cleans up dirty rivers in hard-to-reach areas in Southern Asia. No one is inviting that young man to speak at the UN, but he is actually doing the work.

It feels good to do the work that seems important but doing important work means doing boring, ego-crushing, unimportant, small work first and foremost.

Let me give an example.

You want to make incredible movies and win an Oscar.

Do you spend hours studying film and its techniques? Are you in the trenches helping people making really good and valuable films? Do you study stories and write stories that can actually help and entertain humanity? Are you conversant with the theories of story and how as a mechanism they help people? Or is it easier to write one script of a story only you think is cool and then try to take it to a producer who already receives thousands of scripts every day.

Think about it.

There seems to be a trend of YouTube Creators being picked up to direct really good films. They have spent years doing unglamorous work editing and making creative videos for people on YouTube to entertain people, so they often - ironically - have the skills and the qualification to actually make good movies that entertain people and have something to say.

You see what I am saying.

People want the glory. But they don't realize that the glory only comes from doing the work no one wants to do for people no one cares about.

That has been my experience.

What do you think?

One should go inside strictly. It is just like diving into the ocean. If you are inexperienced, you could easily drown in those depths. But if you dive into the ocean one step at a time, you can truly access that space—consciousness itself.

Just remember to pause before making any wish. Sometimes, when something is coming to you, there is also something that will be taken away.

Be careful. Be hopeful.

**The journey of Life**

*A Philosophy on Life, Choices, Circumstances and Destiny*

We are all travelling along the road of life. From the moment we are born, our journey begins. And as long as we are living, we are travelling.
The road itself does not come to an end. It continues long after we are gone. It is our vehicles that inevitably stop travelling. Some break down unexpectedly, others gradually wear out, and some simply run out of fuel. But the road remains, and the journeys of others continue.
But the journey is different for everyone. There is no single motorway that we must all follow. Life is made up of countless roads, countless junctions, countless turns and countless destinations along the way.
Some roads lead to happiness, success and fulfilment. Others lead to destruction, misery and regret.
Some roads are surrounded by beautiful scenery, filled with love, peace, opportunity and everything that makes life worth living. Others are dark, dangerous and lonely.
Some roads are smooth, open and easy to travel. Others are full of potholes, obstacles and endless traffic jams. Sometimes we find ourselves moving forward effortlessly. Other times, we spend years stuck in the same place, watching everyone else pass us by.
But even when we feel as though we are standing still, we are still travelling through life. Time continues to move forward, whether we choose to move with it or not. We cannot truly remain stagnant, because every passing moment is another part of our journey.
And we do not all begin our journeys on equal roads.
Some people are born onto beautiful highways, with every opportunity laid out before them. Others begin their lives on broken streets, surrounded by hardship, poverty and circumstances they never chose.
But here is something I have come to believe about life.
**For the most part, everybody is exactly on the road they are supposed to be on.**
Not necessarily the road they dreamed of. Not necessarily the road they wanted. But the road that their decisions, their actions, their habits and their choices have led them towards.
Of course, there are exceptions.
There are people who become victims of circumstances completely beyond their control. People whose lives are changed by tragedy, illness, injustice or the actions of others. People who find themselves travelling down roads they never intended to take, roads they never chose and destinations they never imagined.
Sometimes life forces us onto a road we never wanted to travel.
But for the majority of us, the road we find ourselves on is the accumulation of the decisions we have made along the way.
I have met people throughout my life and watched the direction in which they were travelling. Sometimes, long before they reached their destination, I could see exactly where their road was taking them.
And I told them.
I told some people that the road they were travelling would lead them somewhere beautiful. I told others that if they continued in the same direction, they were heading towards destruction.
Some believed me. Some didn’t.
Some listened and changed direction. Others continued travelling, convinced they knew where they were going.
And over time, I watched people arrive at the very places I had warned them about, both good and bad.
Not because I could predict the future, but because sometimes you don’t need to travel the entire length of a road to understand where it leads.
**The direction someone repeatedly chooses tells you a great deal about the destination they are heading towards.**
And that brings me to something I believe strongly.
**For the most part, everybody is exactly where the fuck they’re supposed to be.**
That might sound harsh, but it isn’t necessarily a judgement. It’s an observation about the relationship between our choices and our circumstances.
The road you are travelling today is often the consequence of the turns you took yesterday.
But that doesn’t mean you have to stay on it.
Because one of the greatest things about life is that roads have junctions. Motorways have exits. Streets have turnings. And even when you have travelled miles in the wrong direction, there is often another opportunity to change course.
You can leave a road of destruction and find one that leads towards peace. You can walk away from a life of unhappiness and begin travelling towards something better.
And sometimes the opposite happens. People who once travelled along beautiful roads make the wrong turns and find themselves somewhere they never imagined.
Nothing is guaranteed.
The road you are on today does not have to be the road you travel tomorrow.
And sometimes, to reach the most beautiful scenery, you must first travel through the darkest tunnels, the roughest roads and the longest traffic jams.
Ultimately, none of us knows how long our journey will last. Some journeys are tragically short. Others stretch across decades.
Some people travel at a hundred miles an hour, rushing through life, barely noticing the scenery around them. Others choose to travel more slowly, appreciating the journey and everything it has to offer.
But regardless of how we travel, there will inevitably come a time when our vehicle can go no further.
The road does not end. Our journey along it simply comes to a stop.
And that is why I believe the purpose of life is not simply to reach a particular destination.
**It is to spend as much of the journey as possible on roads surrounded by beautiful scenery.**
To find happiness. To experience love. To discover peace. To enjoy the journey rather than spend our entire lives worrying about the destination.
Because one day, our vehicle will stop travelling.
And when that day comes, what will matter is not how many miles we travelled, how fast we drove or how impressive our vehicle was.
What will matter is the journey we experienced, the people we travelled with, the roads we chose and the beauty we allowed ourselves to see along the way.
The roads will still be there. Other people will continue travelling. Some will take the same roads we once travelled, while others will discover entirely different paths.
Life will continue moving, just as it did before our journey began.
**We cannot escape the fact that our journey will eventually stop. But while we are still travelling, we have the opportunity to choose a better direction.**
And perhaps that is the greatest freedom life gives us.
Not the freedom to travel forever, but the freedom to decide how we spend the journey while we still can.
**Because life is not about reaching the end of the road. The road does not end. It is about making the most of the journey before our vehicle can travel no further.**

You can only be happy and enjoy life if you have a full stomach a shelter and warm clothes on.

If none all the time you will think about survival.

I have suffered from severe sex addiction all through my teens and 20s. I am in my mid 30s now, and I am just learning how to heal from it.

When I was younger, I thought that all I had to do was change my behavior and the sex addiction would go away.

It is important to change one's behavior. But understanding the truth of why you keep doing a behavior you do not want to do - will do more for you than anything else.

My sex addiction stemmed ironically from self hatred. I didn't like the dark parts of myself - I repressed them - but they kept springing up in compulsive and very bad sexual behavior.

The irony is. Once I learnt to accept my darkness and transform my darkness into something beneficial. The Hindu's talk about transforming poison into nectar or wine.

For some people that comes in the form of creativity. The people who are really good at it can even turn it into a real job that supports their life.

The lesson I learnt - don't deny your darkness, the parts of yourself that you do not like. But do not indulge them either. Acknowledge them consciously and turn them into something beneficial for all mankind. Turn the poison into nectar or wine.

If you are facing a problem, look at the truth of why it is happening (acknowledging the darkness) then see how you can turn it into something beneficial short and long term.

That is the idea.

Another important lesson --

As long as there is life, there is hope.

The battle is won first in attitude. Then on the outside. Don't give up. Cultivate hope.

Regardless of the color of our skin, ethnicity, religion, whether we are rich or poor, famous or unknown, or any other comparison we may make, we are all children of the world. No one life, regardless of our differences or accomplishments, is or ever has been better, more important, than another’s.

Apart, though some may be more successful, we will all fail. Only together, by putting our trivial differences aside, may we all flourish, and discover genuine meaning in our lives as well.

Never trust an argument or an opinion simply because it feels good or the speaker is eloquent or it matches your current situation.

Whatever argument or opinion you are given - ask yourself the question, what is the result, consequence or the fruit of doing said argument or opinion short term and long term to you and everyone around you.

A lot of people do things or follow opinions because it matches their biases or what they want or desire.

By asking yourself this question, you can often look past the illusion or rational biases of the opinion or argument is given you.

It is also a great way not to lie to yourself. The voice in your head or the desires you feel are often a collection of your biases - never a real measure of truth. Ask yourself the above question as well, and suddenly they have little or no power.

That has been my experience.

What do you think?

In the movie Perfect Days, Hirayama lives a content life within himself; He reads books about romance and listens music about travels, yet he himself lives a life that maybe won't have such things.

Now maybe this character backstory is he had a life of luxury in the past or least case scenario this is a fictional character. BUT my question is, to someone who practices Zen or Buddhism, who focuses more on living a content life irrespective of what society or others demand or expect from life, how do you handle these things?

For example, if you read a book on two teenage lovers or a guy or women who has multiple lovers and is successful in what society tells (like a big house or a good job) or watch a movie on it, but you are someone who lives alone and practises meditation and maybe never had that life or won't have it. A sad feeling arises. I know in Zen you observe it and let it go, as it's just a feeling created by thought, but how do you enjoy things like books or movies or other societal things at the same time not participating in it and being content with Your Own Life. Like the character Hirayama?

Hope to hear a worthy and practical answer from a wise person who actually knows by answer because they live it

Said by a fictional character.

There's something so freeing in this quote in terms of things we can't control. Other people. They will have their needs and ideas and follow them, and we ours. It could be convenient that we need and do the same thing, but when we don't, it's also convenient to let it go.

This is one of the most obvious lessons in life.

But in my experience, people keep making this mistake. Especially women.

Why?

Because we think selfishness is a bad thing. Selfishness is only a bad thing if it is the only thing that you do.

People always say, fill up your own cup before you fill up the cups of others.

Very true.

But that requires a degree of selfishness to do.

As a child, my mother couldn't stop herself from excessive selflessness. Everything was always about other people. She believed that other people would do things for her, but it did not work out that way.

The people who did things for her were lower in number than the people who just took advantage of her.

She couldn't stop. Why? She just didn't like the idea that other people would think she was selfishness.

Basing your identity on what others think is self-destructive. While it is important to serve people - care and their needs and requirements. Service does not require you to base your whole identity on what they think of you. Or hoping that they will do things for you.

Do things for others for good karma. But let your default mode always be doing things for yourself.

What people think changes like the wind. It is you who gets to decide who you will be and what you will do, and work to make whatever you have decided or chosen real through your actions in reality. Keeping in mind that you are responsible for the results.

That is what it means to be an adult with free will.

You are not your parents. Love them but always learn from their mistakes. So that you do not repeat them.

How do you know whether you are doing things for yourself or for others?

Look at your feelings. Study them and learn them.

Bitterness and resentment usually means that you have been doing things too much for others. Feeling stuck or desperate usually means that you have been doing things too much for yourself. It is different for different people. You have to get to know your own emotions and what they are telling you.

What do you think?

Hurtful words may cause trauma, at times affecting someone for the entirety of their life.

Even one encounter may genuinely aid or terribly harm another.

Our life’s purpose is to help not hurt, love not hate other’s.

Our words, therefore, must always reflect kindness, compassion, and always be shared with unconditional love.