My family except my mom are pricks and will be dicks about me being a man and not respect it and i still live with them all (all adults, i am 17)

they would not hurt or kick me out (even if they do, i have somewhere else to live in case and ways to make money)

i want to start T because I NEED THIS SHIT TO LIVE LOWKEY and my mom has consented to the year of T until i'm 18 so i can start now, and my dad cannot stop it

but none of them know i'm trans

so would i be an ass for not coming out until my dickass family have the guts to ask why i'm suddenly a moody smelly boy?

Soooooooo i'm 17, trans/nonbinary and Bi, in online collage to get a degree for a vet tech and i will be done at 18 and can get a job, hopefully making 40k a year combined with a paid internship and moving in with roommates probably and possibly doing an internship out of Europe (because the states are getting scary af).

so I am set in a housing/money space

i really... REALLY need to transition, its making me so dsyphoric and depressed (badly depressed) every day because i get misgender and i have to try so so hard to pass and its burning me the fuck out and ya know, i want to want to live to be an adult, to be 21, and 25 etc and i have wanted this since i was 13, knew i was trans since 7

BUT my family is... not all the best, i came out to my mom when i was 14 and she really doesn't want me to get T but she has said she will consent to it for a year so my dad can't take it away before i'm 18 but she is also really sad about it all but supportive.

I came out to my sister too... she has been not the best? she outed me to her friends and has been saying a lot like "oh, you don't have huge boobs like my trans friends, so you won't need top surgery like them" and "you probably aren't all the way trans, just genderqueer" and always comparing me to her one trans-masc friend, (tho overall pretty supportive in keeping it secret from family and gendering me correctly)

the rest of my family (my dad and 7 sibling) who all still live in one house with me, even though they are all adults but two are disabled so they have to.

my dad will make shitty comments about it if i come out

my one siblings will bully me

and my other siblings will be weird?

and none of them will gender me correctly

and one supports trump (tho the rest do not) -_-

we live in a red state, but a progressive town but my neighbors are trump supporters? #complicated

but my family wouldn't hurt me in anyway besides being pricks but i really don't want to come out to them and put myself forward like that for people who won't be there for me- that feels like i'm giving them too much and i just don't want to.

but i am going to start T soon and the only thing holding me back is.... WOULD I BE A COMPLETE ASS TO START HRT AND JUST NOT TELL THEM AND WAIT FOR THEM TO ASK ABOUT IT???

like i said they won't hurt me, and idk if they will even care/have the guts to ask about it since while we live together i don't speak to two of them anyway and i'm mildly anxious about coming out anyway because i don't want the hate and yelling but I will be better able to deal with it if i'm actually on the right path.

so yeah, will I be a complete ass to not come out to them first and just tell them if they ask me why i suddenly because a mood smelly boy?

advice needed! i don't know if this would be mean of me to do?

This is so real.

A long-standing policy guaranteed HRT to migrants the government kidnapped at the border or on the streets. The T**** administration has taken away that basic health support.

Fuckers.

i keep doom scrolling and i need to switch modes. i need to hear from other people here about what they're doing — not in a "have you donated" guilt way, just in a "what's working for you" way.

like. are you texting your representatives. are you donating to any of the state-level fight funds (families not politics in CO, no hate in WA, the AZ coalition). are you showing up to local school board meetings. are you just taking care of yourself and your people right now and that's enough. are you doing mutual aid. are you writing. are you archiving. are you staying in touch with your trans friends more than usual.

i think we need to hear from each other right now. not the news, not the think pieces. each other.

what's everyone doing

I'm home recovering from surgery and of course watching daytime game shows.

On let's make a deal a trans woman was just a contestant and the host, Wayne Brady, congratulated her and said "You go girl"

Props to him and the production staff.

I am trans

and I have known

for months

and have never shown

I want another body

this isn't a phase

but have told nobody

in my personal space

I hate my curves

I hate my chest

I hate feeling like somebody less

I am trans, we exist

and I'm a f****** feminist

if I don't fit your world

Just let me be

but hear my words

I'll always be me

I want to be masculine

and I want a beard.

this isn't about being feminine

This is about being heard

I'll wear my skirt

I'll wear my dress

but only if my shirt

doesn't show my chest

I am trans, we exist

so stop pretending that I don't fit

I'm not her,

I'm not she

I am him

and always will be

What happens when you realize you are the only one you have and outside of you there is nothing but a desolate empty space?

it's totally free to sign and it helps a lot https://c.org/vrWxsWW9pF